Hugging Harold Reynolds posted this video yesterday, and it certainly is worth watching. A rather inebriated woman goes up to NBA player Rashard Lewis at what looks like an NBA shop and peppers him with oddly worded questions. You’d think Lewis would look like the smarter one in this situation, but when he says that he’s afraid of Jesus, you start to think this is a perfect conversation.

Despite her drunken appearance, you could certainly do worse with a sideline reporter. Unlike Craig Sager, she’s only aurally and not visually offensive. The woman also has no problem with transitioning smoothly from question to question, because she decides to ask whatever she wants to and doesn’t care how disjointed her interviewing process is. Hey, at least she’s asking stuff people want to hear and not stuff people already know.

I think someone should find this lady a place to continue her segments of boozing and schmoozing. Jimmy Kimmel, you’d seem like the perfect late night show host to have her on. Jay Leno wouldn’t be able to because she’s funnier than him. Yeah, I made a half-hearted Leno joke, but I still put more effort into it than Leno did in the past three years. BOOM.

Lately, Iran’s given the Westboro Baptist Church a run for their money in terms of being crazy and protesting weird stuff. The most recent subject: the ugly-ass London Olympics logo for 2012. It is now perceived by Iran as RAYCESS!!1

Iran objects to the logo for the 2012 London Olympics, contending it is racist because it resembles the word “Zion” and warning of a possible boycott of the games.

The secretary general of Iran’s National Olympic Committee said Iran sent a letter to International Olympic Committee President Jacques Rogge. The letter claims the 2012 logo spells out “Zion,” a biblical term widely recognized to refer to the city of Jerusalem.

In comments carried by the official IRNA news agency Monday, secretary general Bahram Afsharzadeh said the letter urges other Muslim states to oppose the “racist logo.” -Yahoo! Sports

Now, I’m a Muslim (not exactly the best practicing one, but that’s not relevant), and I vaguely see the “Zion” thing they’re talking about. I’m not sure why I’m supposed to be enraged, either. Oh well. If the logo said something subliminal like “Haha, we can eat pork and you can’t,” I’d be a little pissed I guess.

Maybe Iran knows their athletes haven’t been training well and won’t be ready for the Olympics, so they’re trying to save face by calling something racist and boycotting it. It’s a pretty good strategy, in my opinion. They win the gold medal in rage already!

It’s a pretty ugly logo anyway. Everyone knows it sucks, but Iran is taking it a step further and telling them it is not only aesthetically offensive but racially as well. You’ve got to admire that kind of argument.

Also, I know Mahmoud Ahmadinejad isn’t the one complaining (although he might be). I just love that picture of him. So undecided!

While attending to injured players in some random soccer game in Brazil, this diminutive little medic does flips and puts on a show as the people hurt writhe in (arguable) pain. It’s awesome! His flips totally make me forget the star striker just broke his femur!

My only concern is the fact that his flips aren’t very well executed. He even falls on the last one but plays it off as part of the joke. Nice try, dude. The Russian judges give that one a 3.5 for a poor landing.

More sports should do this. Imagine if the NFL adopted this method to making even injury time entertaining. If someone needs to be put on the injury cart, drive off the field in style. Set up a ramp with a flaming hoop, and get the mascot to wield a t-shirt cannon as they drive through and impress the fans. It’s totally free of any liabilities!

–via Dirty Tackle.

One part of the whole NFL draft-combine-orgy spectacular is the handing out of the Wonderlic tests. I don’t know what a real one looks like (all I know is the simulated one you can do in the Madden games when you make your own player to draft), but they seem like random questions that can be used as one way to examine a draft prospect but not a total picture. Is this some foreshadowing for what the post will be about?

Surprise! It is! The daughter of the creator of the Wonderlic, Kathy Kolbe, said that when it comes to the Wonderlic, the NFL is doing it wrong.

Each year, the NFL issues the 50-question Wonderlic test to all invited prospects, and the test’s supporters suggest that it can measure how mentally prepared a player is to handle the NFL’s demands. A high score — 20 is considered average, although the standard is closer to 25 for positions that require quick thought, such as quarterback and left tackle — can solidify a youngster as a can’t-miss draft commodity. A lower score is often seen as a red flag that sometimes overshadows a player’s physical ability.
…

Kolbe has her own test, and she says it fills the holes the Wonderlic test leaves behind. “The Kolbe,” as it is casually known, measures what she refers to as an instinctive modus operandi, or conative skills, the traits each of us is born with.

She says the NFL should use both tests for a more complete look into prospects’ minds. The Wonderlic for measuring cognitive ability and the Kolbe for conative skills. Sure, she admits she’d like to sell her test the same way the Wonderlic has sold its product, and if that makes her sound biased, then she says so be it.

“How can you be satisfied,” says Kolbe, a theorist and educator, “with understanding only one part of the brain?” -Kansas City Star.

Well, at least she’s honest. She’s right, too. I don’t know how much stock teams put into Wonderlic tests now, however. Investing too much thought into one aspect of a prospect won’t give you a full picture of how good or bad he is. This is why scouts ask questions about whether or not your mom’s a whore. Right, Jeff Ireland? People don’t forget, bro. Read the rest of this entry »

During a game against the Philadelphia 76ers, Detroit Pistons coach John Kuester got ejected for arguing a call and yelling a lot. The appropriate response by the players would be…. well, I’m not exactly sure how you should react when your coach screams his way off the court, but I don’t think laughing is the right answer.

Now, obviously this could be similar to a Derek Anderson situation (IT’S NOT FUNNY), but whether the Pistons were laughing at Kuester getting kicked out or not, it’s a very good summation of how Detroit has been this season. Nothing has really gone right for them, players supposedly skipped practice, then they didn’t, Rip Hamilton yelled at Kuester and they’ve been plain bad with a 22-39 record.

Good thing the Red Wings are doing well and sitting in second place in their conference! If you’re from Detroit though, and you don’t like hockey, I guess you could just keep watching this commercial over and over again until baseball starts. How many more days until Miguel Cabrera makes DH stand for “Drunk Hitter”? That would get baseball more fans; make one guy in the lineup drunk and play. I’m on my way to your house right now, Bud Selig.

With the NFL season over and about two months before the draft, players and coaches need to find ways to fill their free time. What does Rex Ryan do? No, not eat a life-size statue of himself made out of hamburger. He guest stars on the crappy version of “CSI” with his general manager!

Jets coach Rex Ryan and general manager Mike Tannenbaum will shoot a scene for the CBS show “CSI: New York” on Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles.

Ryan, who was hired by Tannenbaum two years ago, will appear with his boss, as well as actors Gary Sinise and Eddie Cahill. Cahill and Sinise are regular cast members.

The episode is expected to air this spring. -NY Daily News.

I expect the whole episode to replace any use of the phrase “semen stains” with “BBQ sauce stains.” “Chief, we found this dead hooker with 15 stab wounds and Sweet Baby Ray’s all over her mouth, vaginal area and feet.” Delicious!

I hope Rex is the killer on this episode. There wouldn’t be a body after he was done killing it. Rex would just call his twin brother Rob over and they’d have a light brunch. It’s because they’re gross and fat, you see.

However, the other route could be just as funny: make it a very special buddy-cop episode with Mike as the straight-laced cop while Rex is the fat, drunk guy who always provides the food for the walk-and-eat in every crime drama. You know what I’m talking about; there’s always that scene where they discuss the murder quickly while eating something like a jelly donut or falafel. Rex will be ALL OVER THAT.

This promises to be the most-viewed “CSI: New York” in history. They’re hoping to beat the previous record of seven viewers. Seriously, “CSI: Miami” is watched because of how outrageous David Caruso is, and the original one is watched for reasons I can’t comprehend. This could be the only reason you should ever watch “CSI: New York,” though.