Childress Leaning Towards Ending The Streak

Written by Brandon / 10.29.10

Wheelchair Favre

ESPN is reporting Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress is leaning towards starting Tavaris Jackson on Sunday against the Patriots, thus ending Brett Favre’s streak of 291 consecutive games played. Favre has gone on record as saying he can go and has told friends that he doesn’t think Childress will let him play.

Asked if he thought he could play at New England, Favre said, “I wouldn’t put anything past me, to be honest with you.”

As everyone knows, Favre’s very public ankle problems started in last year’s NFC Championship game against the Saints. He even released photos of the bruises. Now he’s limping down city streets telling everyone who will listen about his new stress fractures.

Favre Crier

“He’s been a little better every day,” Childress said Thursday. “Whether it’s good enough to play in an NFL football game remains to be seen. Just have to take it a day at a time.”

I’d classify him as a game time decision. I can’t imagine Favre sits and breaks the streak. Besides his records, what does he have left?

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LeBron Asks ‘What Should I Do?’

Written by Brandon / 10.26.10

ASYLUM POLL: What would be weirder: Jordan as a Knick or Larry Bird as a Laker?

Lebron_NWO

LeBron James took time out from counting his money to film a Nike commercial addressing various concerns about his public image and the things that transpired over the summer. Oh, also he wants you to buy his crappy shoes. Whether directly or as poorly played irony, the spot tries to paint him as a martyr. Is this guy serious? He wants me to feel sorry for him? He’s looking for understanding? A commercial basically saying the equivalent of “F*ck you, deal with it” isn’t going to help garner him any respect from the (non Miami Heat) fans.

James asks…

“Should I admit that I’ve made mistakes?” - Umm, yeah, good place to start.
“Should I tell you how much fun I’ve had?” – Addressing the fans of his local team, fans he played in front of for over 7 years, fans who spent their time and money following his career, would have been a fairly classy way to go.
“Should I really believe I rule my legacy?” – How can he not? He decided to go championship chasing in Miami and punch everyone below the belt on the way out of town. It’s not like he left to play baseball.
“Should I tell you I’m a championship chaser? Did it for the money?” – Again, some honesty would have been nice. How hard is that?
“Should I stop listening to my friends?” – Of course not, it’s always savvy to base business decisions about marketing companies and NBA playing destinations based on the words of the guys you grew up playing freeze tag with. Subsequently, the same people that have a vested interest in the amount of zeroes in the contract.
“Should I try acting?” – Maybe he should start with acting like he gives a sh*t.

LeBron, you can add me to the list of haters you’re keeping your eye on. What should you do? Nothing. Do everything as you are. Continue pantomiming jump shots through crowded hotels. Act like you’re bigger than the game. Do the things that are making your Q rating sink faster your effort in the playoffs. Oh, and tell Delonte I say hi.

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Bowen Brees Ready To Be Named 2nd String QB

Written by Brandon / 10.20.10

Bowen Brees

Super Bowl MVP and N’Awleans folk hero, Drew Brees and his wife gave birth to their second son late Tuesday night. Unable to come up with a name, Breesus turned to Twitter Nation for suggestions.

Brees twitter 1

Finally, around 11:30AM on Wednesday, the winning name was reveled. Bowen Christopher Brees. Mom and child are doing well.

Brees twitter 2

Saints GM Mickey Loomis has already begun contract negotiations and is expected to name Bowen the team’s second string quarterback, pushing Chase Daniel to the emergency third quarterback. To clear a roster spot, coach Sean Payton cut kicker Garrett Hartley, because who really needs two kickers?

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Colts Have a New Drunk Idiot Kicker

Written by Brandon / 10.20.10

McAfee canal
The punter for the Indianapolis Colts, Pat McAfee, was arrested at 5:00AM Wednesday morning for public intoxication in a neighborhood canal. Pat had a BAC of 0.15, and while there is no law on the books for intoxication limits for public waterways, McAfee does appear to be in violation of the Indiana law stating “baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.” (DumbLaws) Police were alerted after a woman called 911 reporting a wet, shirtless man stumbling towards her vehicle at a red light.

The money quote comes to us from The Daily Caller

Officers asked McAfee if he had been swimming in the canal and he said “I am not sure,” according to a police report. They asked him how he got wet and he said it had been raining, then told officers that his shirt was “in the water.”

Police asked McAfee how much he had to drink.

“A lot cause I am drunk,” McAfee said, according to the report.

The Colts are investigating the matter. No word yet on pending team or league suspension so there’s no need to check your fantasy league waiver wire for a new punter just yet. This is the fourth Colts player to be arrested on an alcohol related charge this year, providing further evidence there really isn’t much to do in Indianapolis but get drunk and stumble around.

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Ochocinco’s New Key To Victory: Annoy Everyone

Written by Brandon / 10.14.10

Ocho kills CarsonThe Cincinnati Bengals have started the 2010 campaign a little rougher than most anticipated. At 2-3, they are only one game up on the lowly Browns in the AFC North standings. What was supposed to be a dynamic passing attack has been anything but. Chad Ochocinco thinks he knows what the problem is. He claims it is his utter lack of production smack talk.

Sports Illustrated reported on Chad’s verbal diarrhea…

“I haven’t been the Chad of old, the Chad that we’re all used to – the boisterous, sometimes borderline cocky, arrogant,” he said. “But that’s the way I am and that’s what everybody feeds off as a city and as an organization, and I haven’t been that.

“I think when I do come back (from the bye), I’m going back to the Chad of old.”

The elephant in the Cincinnati locker room is Carson Palmer. He is currently a career worst 59.3% passing with 7 touchdowns and 6 interceptions, including two late game picks to give away the game last week to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Outside of the Patriots game to open the season, the Bengals defense has kept them in games, Palmer’s ineffectiveness just isn’t doing them any favors.

Chad added…

“I’m able to play my style by being boisterous, by talking, by giving other teams bulletin-board material and in my mind, I know I have no choice but to go out and perform at a high level,” he said. “I feed off that. You’ve been with me for 10 years and you know I’ve never been able to be quiet.”

Things he also hasn’t been able to do in 10 years include winning a playoff game, beating Darrelle Revis, making Roger Goodell’s Christmas card list, and spelling TJ Houshmandzadeh’s name correctly on Cincinnati overpasses.

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Farewell Bobby Cox

Written by Brandon / 10.12.10

Goodbye Bobby Cox

Three things have remained constant since 1990: The Simpsons, Carson Daly being a douche, and Bobby Cox managing the Braves. One of those things came to an end yesterday. Nope, The Simpsons are still on the air. I was surprised, too.

With the Giants 3-2 victory last night to advance to the NLCS, Bobby Cox ended his 25 year career, the last 20 of which was at the helm of the Atlanta Braves. Bobby’s career ends with 3 NL Manager of the Year awards, 1 AL Manager of the Year award, 2 World Series championships, and the record for most ejections in the history of the game. I’m not sure the last one is so much of an accomplishment as it is a tradition of being a pain in the ass. Cox is fourth on the managerial win list, composing a career record of 2504-2001.

Following the game, the Giants showed class by bringing their celebration to a halt to honor Cox as he acknowledged the standing ovation from the crowd.

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