The Texas Rangers have been one of my favorite teams for almost as long as I’ve been a fan of baseball. The best part about the Rangers is that they’re completely alright with handling bags of explosives. Every major dickhead I’ve ever come to love has decked out in the blue or red then blue again then red again then blue again. Even Elvis Andrus alternate bp warmups are retro!

The Rangers’ most recent fireworks display comes in the form of 23 year-old Leonys Martin. He defected from Cuba in 2010 for the opportunity to escape communism. Or he caught wind of Fatburger and is hoping for a trade to the Dodgers before he retires to sunny, breezy communist torture-jail.

Please enjoy today’s Dugout. I sure hope Ron Washington doesn’t know what the internet is.

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Hey gang! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank With Leather for allowing me to contribute to the Dugout again. It is truly one of the best things that I have had the honor of being a part of, and writing today’s strip brought back a lot of fond memories. It was a lot of fun reading B’s Dugouts and seeing Jon’s return recently, but I really missed being a part of it.

The Dodgers are about to transform into a pile of mealy horse vomit. The messy divorce of two boring white people has spilled onto the diamond. The players, fans, and employees of the Los Angeles Dodgers will all be affected, if not ground into a fine powder and made into blue glue. Maybe Selig will sell the team to Donald Trump and by presidential decree the Dodgers will make it to the NLCS and actually put up a fight. Please do enjoy this very magical chat room.

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