The New York Yankees are currently in first place in the AL East with the second-best record in all of baseball, so as soon as they have that best record in baseball status locked up – and maybe toss in a few highway robbery trades as well – all will be well in the universe, according to Yankees fans. One of the luxuries of being “business as usual” for baseball’s highest payroll is that Yankees players and fans can once again laugh, not only at the fans of teams beneath them in the standings, but also at their own miseries of previous years.

For example, on Friday the Yankees visited the Kansas City Royals for a quick three-game sweep to extend their winning streak to five games, but because Kauffman Stadium is where Yankees closer and first ballot Hall-of-Famer Mariano Rivera ended his season a wee bit early last season while shagging fly balls in warm-ups, his teammates decided to poke fun at the injury with the “No Mo Zone”.

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Now that the NBA has given all of the remaining playoff teams a well-deserved night off, instead of, you know, scheduling the games accordingly so that fans could watch their favorite stars play every night, we get to sit back and enjoy some games tonight. And since the Miami Heat play, we’ll hopefully get some more Chris Andersen antics for Shaquille O’Neal to talk about on TNT tomorrow night since he apparently loves talking about the Birdman.

That Shaq, such the comic genius. I, for one, can’t wait to see him return to the big screen in Grown Ups 2. In fact, if TNT could show that Grown Ups 2 playoffs ad more than it already does, I’d be so incredibly happy. It’s great to see Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade and Kevin James openly acknowledging how they play the same character in everything they’ve ever done. That’s true comedy.

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It sounds like a story written for Florida Friday – a woman dropped her daughter off at school, accidentally popped the car into reverse and then backed over her daughter, trapping the poor girl underneath the car. Alas, this story comes to us from California, as some high school baseball players provided us with a strong Feel-Good Sports Story of the Year nominee.

The aforementioned accident actually took place on Wednesday at Valley High School in Elk Grove, California, and as soon as the mom accidentally ran over her own daughter, 16 Valley varsity and junior varsity baseball players rushed to her rescue and performed quite an amazing feat of strength, as they lifted the car and freed the young girl.

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Thanks to Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria basically tricking Miami-Dade County into giving him a ton of cash for a stadium that literally everyone not involved in the funding process knew was a horrible idea, the Miami Dolphins were unable to secure a considerably smaller amount of public funds to renovate Sun Life Stadium. That led to CEO Mike Dee calling the team’s future in Miami “bleak” before kicking off a new rumor campaign of moving the team to Palm Beach.

In the meantime, the Dolphins are also making a pitch to the NFL to host Super Bowl L in Miami, and among a number of ideas that are so Miami they may as well have blue hair and iguanas in their front yards, the team would host a football game on an aircraft carrier. Somewhere, the writer of Hot Shots smiled.

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Having attended quite a few baseball games at Conrad Park in beautiful DeLand, Florida – where the man with the newest model El Camino is king – I can tell you with great certainty that Stetson Hatters fans take their baseball quite seriously. After all, baseball and (every once in a while) basketball are all that Stetson has had ever since its football program decided to take a dirt nap back in 1957. But with football poised to return this year, the baseball program might as well enjoy the popularity while it can.

And judging by this first pitch from Tuesday’s night’s game against Florida State, Stetson fans have already long forgotten about baseball and, more specifically, how to throw one. We’ve previously discussed the finer aspects of what I believe is the art of throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game, but the one thing that I will always impress upon those given the opportunity is to not act like a total douche caboose before you throw the pitch, unless you are absolutely confident that it’ll be a strike.

Because otherwise you’ll look like this goober and there’s no recovery from the bro shame that will be laid upon a man after this kind of performance. Shame this man, Stetson bros. Shame him good.

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Too little, too late, Lonely Island guys. Spring Break has once again come and gone. Or maybe that was the point. Comedy has so many layers these days.

Also, I wouldn’t marry James Franco. He’s just so strange, like he’s trying way too hard to be an artist. I feel like I’d come home from a long day at the office and find him cheating on me and he’d be like, “It’s art, bro husband.” I’m not falling for that again, James.

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