At 26-years old, Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen is one of the best young stars in baseball, and I hate that he plays in the National League Central, because he’s probably my favorite non-Cardinal to watch play, so I hate to have to cheer against him when he plays St. Louis. A lot of people believe that Cutch is one of baseball’s best 5-tool players, and they’re obviously right, but it appears that he wants to add a sixth tool to his repertoire.

The Pirates slugger recently interviewed world famous chef and UPROXX favorite Anthony Bourdain for “All-Stars with Andrew McCutchen”, and Cutch displayed a lot of charm as an inexperienced interviewer in his discussion with Bourdain, but that’s kind of fun we get in watching someone who is a fan of a celebrity interview that person.

And Cutch knows his Bordain info, too – or at least he was well-prepared – as they chatted about how Bourdain’s wife, Ottavia, is a bit of a mixed martial arts badass. A lot of athletes wouldn’t fare much better than Chris Farley in chatting with a celeb, but Cutch gets it done.

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Ouchtown, Population: Bryce Harper. The Washington Nationals should not, according to closer Rafael Soriano and most people with working eyeballs, have lost their fourth game in a row to drop their record to .500 last night. They should not have blown their ninth-inning lead and allowed a triple to Gregor Blanco, but they did because 20-year old phenom Bryce Harper caught a case of alligator arms and turtle defense near the wall.

Soriano didn’t quite appreciate that either.

“It may not have been a catch-able ball, but if we’re positioned the right way, there might have been a different outcome. With two outs, I could tell my four-year-old son, ‘You know where you need to play,’ and he would have positioned himself better. It’s not an excuse, and I’m not speaking badly about anybody, but I think that’s how you play the game.” (Via USA Today)

Um, yeah dude, you are speaking badly about Harper. You’re saying your four-year old could make a play that he didn’t. So have fun backing off of that one later and make sure to buy the guy’s dinner when he hits a few walk-off shots this season. Meanwhile, the Brewers should sign his son and make him prove it.

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The Major League Baseball Lifetime Pass is like Willy Wonka’s golden ticket, except instead of allowing a person to take a tour of a chocolate factory and possibly develop diabetes in record time, it grants the person who possesses it lifetime access to any MLB stadium of that person’s choice. Needless to say, based on that very brief description, I already want one and will kick and scream until I eventually pass out.

Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista doesn’t have to go to such extremes apparently, as he is the most recent recipient of this glorious card, posted to his Instagram account over the weekend. Nobody knows much about baseball’s gold card – save for BuzzFeed’s gallery and a quick Google search that shows you where you can buy Dave Parker’s gold card – but apparently they are awarded to people “in appreciation of long and meritorious service”.

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After his first round KO over former Strikeforce middleweight champ Luke Rockhold at UFC on FX 8, Vitor Belfort was questioned by MMA journalist John Morgan about his use of the controversial testosterone-replacement therapy and he responded by asking, “Can somebody beat him up for me, please?” You know, because he’s a 36-year old professional athlete and adult who gets better with age, so obviously he acts like it, too.

But somewhere between Sunday night and yesterday, someone took a moment to explain to Belfort how he came across like a total d*ckhead – unless you think that Morgan was the a-hole for asking about TRT right after Belfort’s win – and the No. 2-ranked contender for the UFC Middleweight belt issued a very sincere-yet-sloppy apology on Twitter.

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At the 1997 Masters Tournament, as a then-21-year old Tiger Woods was about to finish an incredible 12-shot victory, then-45-year old Fuzzy Zoeller created one of golf’s strangest rivalries when he told a reporter:

“That little boy is driving it well, and he’s putting well. He’s doing everything it takes to win. So you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say, ‘Congratulations’ and ‘Enjoy it.’ And tell him not to serve fried chicken next year. Got it? Or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.”

And the people at home watching let out a collective, “Hoo boy, that’s racist.” Well, 16 years later, it seems that Sergio Garcia “forgot” about ol’ Fuzzy’s faux pas and borrowed the joke at a European Tour event last night, when asked whether or not he’d have Woods over for dinner before the U.S. Open next month.

“We’ll have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken.”

Naturally, the apology has already been issued.

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Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant has reportedly pledged $1 million to tornado relief through his family foundation. I think that’s pretty awesome.

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp is also donating $1,000 for every home run he hits between now and the All-Star Break. I think that’s pretty awesome, too.

More people be awesome, please.

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