I’m assuming most of you that read this website went to college (that’s a lie), and thus you went through at least one year of dorm living. Who was the most hated person in the dorm? The residential advisor. He or she was the person that stayed for free but had to bust you for sneaking in that 30 pack of ‘Stones up the stairwell.

Looking back, you feel a little sorry for them. The job must have sucked, because you were the a$$hole that ruined the fun for all the little fishes. Another thing that would make your life suck? Getting beat up by two college basketball players.

That’s what happened to 21-year-old Yerkin Abdrakhmanov, a RA from Kazakhstan that got beat up by Johnnie Lacy and James Still, freshman basketball players at Providence who said they were going to beat up the next male that walked by.

Just so happened to be Yerkin.

The players “said they were going to beat up the next male they saw,” Ippolito said, reading from a police report. “The victim was just in the wrong place.”

He said Yerkin Abdrakhmanov suffered a broken nose and eye socket, and other injuries, and was treated in Rhode Island Hospital.

“This is a serious assault — without a motive,” Magistrate Joseph P. Ippolito Jr. said. –Providence Journal

We’ve all done stupid things as college kids (just check my early Facebook photo albums), but beating up some random exchange student for walking? At what point are collegiate athletes going to learn that doing these types of things will always become public?

If you don’t want the fanfare, I will gladly take your 6-foot-9-ness from you.

(Also, the photo is presumably James Still’s doing his best to emulate his future in collegiate basketball.)

There are things Shaquille O’Neal does well. Dunk, tweet, dominate with his size, find rather tiny wives.

There are things Shaq doesn’t do so well. Make movies, star in movies, act in movies and shoot free throws. (He would presumably not shoot free throws well in movies, but I’m fairly certain that was never a scene in “Blue Chips.”)

None of this is stopping the Big, umm, Queen Latifah from making a couple of random appearances in videos. Last month he had an extremely random cameo in an Owl City video (yes, the Owl City that sang “Fireflies,” the song that makes your ears hate noise).

Now, he is posting a video lip syncing Aaliyah’s “At Your Best” while not wearing a shirt and, for some reason, pouring water randomly on his head. This video is a little too “D’angelo ‘How Does It Feel’” for my liking, but I guess the only explanation is Shaq needed to fill a committee to Smart Water and this was his best idea.

The things you do when you’re not playing basketball.

Read the rest of this entry »

Most people hate only a certain number of writers, and can live with the rest. Urban Meyer, the current (right?) Florida Gators football coach, hates them all. All of ‘em. Doesn’t matter if you cover college football or armadillo racing, he hates you and is happy to let you know this.

That’s why this story shouldn’t surprise you from Augusta National. Meyer, at the Masters with his family, decided that no matter the situation, he is above the law, and to be fair, isn’t Meyer way more important than a few silly journalists trying to do their job?

In an area around Amen Corner reserved for media, a few journalists noticed it full so they waited patiently for it to clear. When three people walked by with general admission badges, the reporters got a little flustered.

When three people left the stands, they were wearing daily Masters tickets — the kind that admits fans — not the working press credentials that are required for admittance to the viewing area. When it was pointed out to a security guard that fans had evidently gotten past him, he replied: “That was coach Urban Meyer and his family.”  – Florida Times-Union

What’s interesting about this is, Meyer might be the biggest douchebag from Florida to be around Amen Corner since Chris DiMarco nearly beat Tiger Woods in 2005.

That said, wouldn’t it just be fantastic if someone at Augusta National banned Meyer from future tickets? Now that would be a tradition unlike any other.

For non golf fans, it is just another boring tournament with guys that “aren’t athletes.” For golf fans, it is the best week of the year, mainly because it is played on the same track with the same traditions in the first major championship of the season. For some reason, it brings out the goosebumps and just the years of certain Masters flood the mind with memories; 1958, 1986, 1997.

The reason you, loyal reader, should watch the Masters this year is because of the following:

– There is an absolutely incredible chance that we will see something we’ve never seen before. A person running out on the course, screams profanities in Tiger’s backswing or even someone parachuting in. I truly believe this will happen. There are too many crazy people out there for someone not to pull the trigger (no pun intended) on some prank.

– You could see Tiger struggle on a golf course. It hardly ever happens. Get your DVR ready.

– The chance to see an up-close image of Lucas Glover’s head. I promise you, Dana Stubblefield would be impressed by the size of that melon.

– The always fun chance to play the Masters drinking game.

• For every white belt you see, take a drink.
• For any player playing a yellow golf ball, drink.
• Anytime the announcer says patrons, second cut, or fairway metal, drink.
• Anytime a player is dressed like a “Happy Gilmore” extra, drink.

Fine, you may not watch, but it is certainly going to be entertaining. I mean, for goodness sake, David Toms is leading early on Thursday! How could that not enflame your loins?

Imagine you aren’t so great at your job. Okay, but not great. You do your responsibilities but you aren’t necessarily winning any awards with your skills. Now, imagine there are rumbles about you getting canned. Wouldn’t you shape up and try to make sure not to ruffle any feathers? Nah, you’d show up wasted to work the next day and slap the receptionist on the ass.

That is, if you Fred Hill. The Rutgers basketball coach is in some trouble and might get fired from his post because of his behavior at a baseball game last week against Pittsburgh. Hill’s dad, Fred Hill, Sr. is the coach for Rutgers baseball, and the younger Hill was at the game when Pittsburgh head coach Joe Jordano disagreed with a call.

Hill Jr. decided it was his place to step in, and went crazy, tossing profanities at Jordano even though, you know, it isn’t even his sport.

So, bad coach + short fuse + won’t listen to instructions = time to go, right?

Well, there is also this.

However, multiple reports Tuesday, including one in the Star Ledger, say that leading scorer Mike Rosario is looking to transfer and to incoming recruit Gil Biruta of St. Benedict’s Prep asked to be released from his letter of intent. Those two potential defections, combined with the questionable behavior, could spell the end for Hill. — NewJersey.com

Rutgers’ athletic director Tim Pernetti, who supposedly told Hill not to attend any more baseball games before of his previous behavior, is currently waiting to see if the school can fire Hill without having to pay his $1.8 million buyout. It seems that the quicker they can get out of this deal, the better.

I can guarantee you the number of titles Duke basketball has won over the years is way higher than number of funny pranks the players have pulled off, but when credit is due we give it.

Jon Scheyer, guard for the recently crowned National Champions of Duke, did something rather unorthodox when his team hit the locker room to continue the celebration. He took to Twitter, giving out his phone number for all the world to see.

About 20 minutes later, Scheyer realized what he did was extremely idiotic, and sent another tweet, begging people to only respond to him on Twitter. Read the rest of this entry »