More of this, please.
Tonight on the With Leather WWE Raw open discussion thread:
From Brock Lesnar’s brutal attack of The New Age Outlaws to CM Punk’s utter disrespect for the legacy of the late Paul Bearer, the emotional Road to WrestleMania is in high gear! Here are five reasons to catch Monday’s Raw as it rolls into Pittsburgh. (via WWE.com)
Your five-point preview:
1. Will Triple H answer Brock Lesnar’s challenge to Triple H’s challenge? Will stern words be exchanged? What about spittle-breathed glances? Will they beat up people who are not each other? And more important, will they discuss BUSINESS and CONTRACTS and STIPULATIONS? HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS, WWE AUDIENCE, IT’S ABOUT TO GET SEMI-UNPROFESSIONAL UP IN HERE.
2. The Intercontinental Championship will be defended (no, seriously) in a triple threat match, pitting champion Wade Barrett against Chris Jericho and The Miz. Spoiler alert: Wade Barrett will win, because he only loses NON-title matches, and has non-title matches 19 times out of 20. Alternate spoiler: Barrett still loses, but keeps the belt, somehow. I don’t know.
3. Will the WWE Champion be in the house to defend his title or help build suspense for his big match at the very tip top of the card at the biggest show of the year? Probably not, sorry.
4. WWE.com asks, “Has CM Punk gotten into the Undertaker’s head?” Well, considering that Undertaker has been put into a casket and literally buried by more than once person, was once chokeslammed onto the flaming dead bodies of his parents, walked through a wall of fire conjured by his demon brother and has had at least SEVERAL other people steal his urn and signature poses … yes, I would say the Undertaker is definitely shook by CM Punk’s one thing that happened.
5. Antonio Cesaro will lose a match to, let’s say Kofi Kingston. This will set up a United States title match at Not WrestleMania.
As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best and Worst of Raw report. To nominate a comment for top 10 consideration, please reply to it with a +1. I urge you to be discerning with your +1s, and to give them to really good, thoughtful or insightful comments sometimes, instead of just to whoever makes the “Jerry Lawler humps children” jokes.
Enjoy the show, everybody.
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That was the darkest Harlem globe Trotter performance ever. (CM Punk)
So, way late, but this is a thing that happened – [www.wwe.com]
Here’s the audio dub we were all expecting/waiting for:
[www.youtube.com]
The best part is when Punk drops both the Urn and the S-bomb, it cuts to Undertaker with his head down probably trying not to laugh.
In my mind’s eye, after the video of Brock/HHH’s brawl a few weeks back, Heyman did this:
Heyman: Knock Knock. (HHH just looks at him) c’mon, play along! Knock Knock!
HHH: Who’s there?
Heyman: Orange.
HHH: Orange who?
Heyman: Orange you glad I didn’t say anything about how you TOTALLY PISSED YOUR PANTS?
You just know if it were the other way around, Trips woulda done it…no question about it…
I got my tickets to that show for free, and I wish I could ask for a refund. Of the biggest stars, one was gone by 8:15, one made a cool entrance and talked for a minute, two never actually appeared up anywhere but on the screen, and one smacked a chair into the ground and never performed any physical activity except pointing at a sign. I realize you’re selling a show for three weeks from now but God almighty it’s three hours long and it’s painful. I swear the part I enjoyed live the most was the Fandango segment. At least he moved a little instead of just talking.
Oh, yeah. And Pittsburgh. How could anyone expect Pittsburgh not to cheer for the racist white guy? I was embarassed to be part of that crowd. Stupid, redneck, Boston with towels. Good job, good effort, Yinzers.
Everything sucked. All of it.
Yinzers do suck. Horrible show. Glad you didn’t have to pay for the tickets at least.
Miz swung by Cesaro into the barricade, bandaged for 2 weeks. Ryback beaten down by the Shield and world’s strongest slammed 3 times and yet he’s perfectly fine. I know Ryback is higher on the food chain (har, see what I did there) but come on! That pissed me off.
I know heel Cole sucked, but man, there has to be someone in the announce booth that ‘sees the other side’. It’s reprehensible for Henry to World’s Strongestly Slam Ryback on Smackdown last week, but it’s perfectly OK for Ryback to shell shock Otunga after the match? It’s OK for Trips to attack Heyman? No one’s saying how terrible this is? How this is totally non-face behavior?
Also, this show was just awful. I would criticize the crowd for being flat but, you know, why wouldn’t they be?
Okay, I’ll actually defend HHH attacking Heyman. This wasn’t like when HHH was talking about how Heyman’s kids should be ashamed of him for being a deadbeat and then Heyman was pointing out what a bully HHH was and how his children would be ashamed but it totally wasn’t okay for Heyman to say something. Heyman, unprovoked, took a cheap shot about HHH’s wife and HHH responded. The only problem was that it should have been a moment for Brock to come in and attack the distracted face. Instead it was chapter one million in “Triple H is the coolest, smartest, toughest, besteset guy in the ring”.
you tend to react the angriest to the things that are true.
The added stipulation: SNOWBALL FIGHT…IN A CELL!!!
Worst: Pretty much everything. The storylines are so damn vanilla and predictable.The PPV after ‘Mania is most likely going to be much better than Mania itself. This makes me sad.
Best: Divas actually getting airtime (despite not actually wrestling). Egh, it’s a step in the right direction. Plus, AJ and Rosa looked amazing and I always love me some Bellas, so, hizah.
. . . Team Hell No vs Team Rocket could be one hell of a match.
Is there a name for Del Rio’s chin kick yet? I recommend Sweet Chinchilla Music.
Except that chinchillas are South American. How about Sweet Chingada Music? (sorry, NSFW in Mexico)
Sweet Batchakta Music?
Jerry Lawler recommends Sweet Chimichanga Music. Heh, heh, heh, Mexicans
Yeah, I know chinchillas are South American but I wouldn’t let something like geography stop WWE from naming something. Right, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat? I also toyed with the idea of Sweet Chimichanga Music, but chincilla flows so well.
John Cena = Don’t Stop Believing
Half of the people are happy to hear him and the other half want to kill themselves
Plus One
I hoping for a 2-man War Games match.
My ultimate hope for the finish of Brock/HHH is that HHH wins the match he came out of retirement for to save his career, and then retires on Raw the next night anyway.
Don’t blame me, I voted for a Judy Bagwell on a pole match.
Why couldn’t we do control of the WWE instead of career? That would have been more interesting.
Ok so the bad guy is HHH right? I mean yeah Heyman Insulted his wife but somehow HHH made me think he’s the bad guy after beating him up to legit bleed. One punch would’ve sufficed but nooooo
“so how was Raw? did you have a good time?”
“it. was. GREAT. John Cena killed a black man. The Undertaker held a microphone. CM Punk juggled an urn and said ‘shit’. The Rock did something on a giant screen. Triple H signed a piece of paper on a man with pony tail, on a table, in the middle of the ring. Brock Lesnar danced a gig and beat up the ground with a chair…..I LOVE WRESTLING!”
plus juan
+1
so what is the stip?
Career on the line in addition to No holds barred.
The stipulation is that the match finish must piss off the crowd royally.
[fart noise]
30-Minutes Bathroom Break Match.
haha, you guys!
Loser pays winner’s utility bill for an entire year.
Lesnar has vowed to leave the water running for A MONTH STRAIGHT.
I don’t mind that I have tickets to this year’s [terrible on paper] Wrestlemania…..I’m more annoyed that I have to watch all that shit while simultaneously being outside.
Considering it’s snowing right the hell now here in NY I hope something picks up between now and then…
As someone who has been in that frozen death trap, I advise you to bundle up and rent a car to get to and from Metlife. You don’t want to rely on city transportation.
/waited 3.5 hours outside in a major lineup as buses transported people from Metlife back to New York.
All I could think of during the beating of Paul Heyman was the early scene in Law Abiding Citizen.
Oh god, yeah, I see it
So do you think AJ is having sex with Ziggler and she’s saying “Oh Ziggie!” and Big E is outside the door trying to figure out if she said Ziggie or Big E?
Almost definitely.
Nah. Big E is in the room standing with his arms crossed leaning on a wall watching Ziggie oversell the Missionary Position.
That’s when he practices pronouncing Fawn-Dawn-Go.
What the heck is Kronos Quartet doing in an NCIS chase sequence?
I was half-expecting Chris O’Donnell to run through a darkly lit double headed dildo sex show….
So last year we had ONCE IN A LIFETIME and END OF AN ERA, and this year ONCE IN A LIFETIME is happening again and both participants of the ERA THAT ENDED MATCH are wrestling again.
The WWE is hoping we all sustained heavy brain trauma in the past year.
Watching a year’s worth of WWE programming constitutes heavy brain trauma, doesn’t it?
WWE: Last Year doesn’t matter. . . Unless we want it to matter.
i hope to god that doesn’t mean the ghosts of DX past comes in to fuck with lesnar during the match.
I’d rather see every wrestler HHH fooked over with his political bullshit throughout the years storm out and shoot on him.
*Chyna appears out of the mists*
“Ghost of Chyna! I fear you more than any spectre I have seen.”
I’m starting to accept that we’re not getting anything on the level of Miz/Cena at this year’s Mania.
Jimmy John’s presents a stipulation of no holds barred. Crowd deflates so fast, you’ll freak.
Guys, can we all just hug at the RETURN OF THE YES?
Yeah, I guess.
I’ll say it again. RETURN OF THE YES (there it is) RETURN OF THE YES (come on) RETURN OF THE YES (oh my God).
Prediction:
Lesnar wins, COO HHH re-hires HHH like 2 months later
No Holds Barred AND Career on the line? Well now you KNOW HHH is gonna win – no way are we gonna get that post-match awkwardness from Summerslam a SECOND time…
said no one ever
Terrifying thought of the night: Heyman has the S.H.I.E.L.D come out to help and HHH buries everyone.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Terrifying thought part deux: Triple H, New Age Outlaws, X Pac and possibly HBK are probably going to squash Shield, Lesnar and possibly Punk.
That ending made me wish the Heat/Celtics when into overtime.
triple h sodomizing heyman should have went on for 5 more minutes.
I was hoping it’d be a thing where if Triple H loses he’d have to sign over his WWE executive power to THIS MAN:
♫ Here comes the moneeeeeeeeeeeey ♫
+Dreams
+wonderful dreams
If Shane McMahon ever came back (he is after all my FAVORITE McMahon) I would be the happiest girl alive.
I would also be the happiest girl alive, which is saying quite a lot considering my non-femaleness.
/notchyna
//justtryingtohelp
legit more fighting in the hockey game i was watching during commercials
tl;dw
+1 at the wire
Did Triple H act out his Katie Vick fantasies on Paul? Like… I felt uncomfortable watching that.
It was almost like he was mocking Chyna and her career choices.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.
Is it possible to buy WrestleMania as a PPM (Pay Per Match), because this is looking to be only two matches I want to see and the rest can go fornicate themselves.
Only Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar know that “Career” is the name of Triple H’s beloved prize-winning Standard Poodle.
time for 2 broke girls dvr. Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs? Yes please
Kat Dennings yes. Two Broke Girls I’d rather get dick cancer.
You’re going to subject yourself to crap just to look at two attractive? Ever heard of YouTube or Google Image Search or you know, comedy as a whole?
I was kind of hoping for electrocution chair on a pole match, but hey. A Hulk Hogan movie from the 80′s is an equally painful death.
YOU LITERALLY DREW HIM OUT OF THE RETIREMENT YOU FORCED HIM INTO TO RETIRE HIM???!?!
We finally found something Heyman couldn’t save.
+1+1
+1
IMA TAKE YOUR JOB SUGAH
So guy who had 2 matches last year vs. guy who had 2 matches last year in a career match. Wow
I’ve decided it’s more fun to read the comments without watching the show. This way I can fill in the blanks.
…Meh. [www.pochoblog.com]
Who the hell writes this?
Good guy Del Rio, attacks helpless manager Colter without physical provocation.
Good guy HHH, attacks helpless manager Heyman without physical provocation.
STOP MAKING BABYFACES DO DESPICABLE THINGS.
I thought HHH’s career being on the line with this match was inferred, because he’s old and stiff and he’s fighting Brock Lesnar?
I called this fucking stipulation and just wait for the next three weeks of HHH jerkoff videos and fuck it all to fuck.
EVERYBODY BORK BOUNCE
See, HHH? Everyone wants you gone.