Yesterday, we pondered aloud whether or not Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson deserved to be taken seriously with his creative prom invitation to our beloved Kate Upton, and it appears that we came through for Jake, because she has responded to him.
The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Tweeted at Jake last night, telling him to call her Katie, which is just complete BS because we just try and try and try and try and all we get is “Please refer to her as the plaintiff”. So is she going to make Jake the coolest wealthy teenager among all of his wealthy classmates?
The answer is an incredible, resounding – probably not. UPDATE: Jesus, either Kate is incredibly sweet or she’s going to go through with this.
“@jakedavidson23:youtube.com/watch?v=NvxqUE…” you can call me Katie if you want! How could I turn down that video! I’ll check my schedule ;)
— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) March 19, 2013
To be fair to Jake’s hopes and dreams – which he discussed with Mashable today – not a lot of people thought he’d get a response, but here we are. Sure, she might actually check her schedule and maybe she’ll even say, “F*ck it, free trip to L.A.” and do the Dougie while a bunch of teenage boys remain seated at their tables, terrified of revealing their awkward boners. And maaaaaaaybe she’ll take some pictures with Jake and post them to Twitter, causing all of us to be like, “That little bro is the coolest little bro in the entire world”.
But the only thing that is certain in this entire situation is that Jake is going to tell his friends that he had sex with Kate, whether they actually meet or not, because teenage boys are filthy liars and I would absolutely do it if I were in his shoes, no matter how blatant the lie and how much bullsh*t people call. Because, as George Costanza once said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
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The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors’. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I’m looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what’s what. Then I see her; this… girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she’s doing there I don’t know, because she doesn’t live there… but it’s a dream, so I go with it. “Who’s there?” she says. “Jake,” I say. “What are you doing here?” “I don’t know what I’m doing here; what are *you* doing here?” “I’m taking a shower,” she says. Then I give her: “You want me to go?” “No,” she says; “I want you to wash my back.” So now, I’m gettin’ enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she’s hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door… and I… find myself in a room full of kids whose dates have said yes. I’m over two months late; I’ve got two minutes to find someone to take. I’ve… just made a terrible mistake. I’ll never get to prom. My life is ruined.
+1
This kid has done nothing to deserve a date with Kate Upton. At least the Marine’s that got celebrity dates to their ball are you know, Marines and serving our country.He looks rich and spoiled enough to pay some high school girl to go with him.
I know. I could see this little shit having daddy dearest throwing money at Kate’s way to make her come. That boy just seems really sleazy.
The punk kid was on the Today show this morning, and the producers got Kate to call in. He was pretty dumbfounded when they surprised him with her on the phone. But she again said she’d have to check her schedule. Which is a really nice way of telling him to bark up another tree.
She has to check her schedule? Pfft. Even I got “Sorry, I’m washing my hair that night.” What a loser.
There’s no real upside to going to prom with Kate Upton. He’ll get some pictures that anyone not at the prom is going to think he photoshopped, making him the T-1000 Sherminator, not that the little shit know who the Sherminator is because he’s too young. She’s not going to let him get to first base, let alone finish in her butt. So what’s the point?
Honestly, I’d have asked Britney Spears. Not that this little shit knows who Britney is because he’s too young. She’d be flattered. You know she’s DTF. She’s over 21 so she can buy the booze, no problem. She’s worth about $300 million (Kate might be worth $5 million), and if dude has some game he could wind up married to her without her knowing about it.
Crazy MILF > Lucid Supermodel
While your logic is sound, I’d still go for Upton because I do not like Justin Verlander and want to stick it to him (heh) figuratively by giving his girlfriend the worst 30 seconds of her life. I would even break character and not apologize profusely.
I see your Britney Spears and raise you a Heidi Klum. Heidi is hot as hell and newly divorced. You know she’s DTF with a young guy. And she’s German, meaning she could introduce some crazy things into the bedroom that won’t make it to the US for another couple of years.
@Thatsamare
You win. I tap out. I’m embarrassed. My wife breaks down Project Runway x’s and o’s and makes me listen. How did I forget Heidi Klum?
Eh, whadda I care if this kid wants my leftovers?
In case anyone is wondering, this is the perfect response.
Every time we get one of stories it makes me want the celebrity in question to call the person a Kardasian and tell them to piss off. Unless of course the celebrity is actually a Kardasian then I wouldn’t have read the story in the first place.