Best: Super Heel CM Punk
Brock Lesnar versus Zack Gowen may have a new contender for Most Despicable WWE Heel Moment in my heart. If you don’t remember, Brock Lesnar broke the one leg of a one-legged wrestler IN FRONT OF HIS MOM while she screamed for him to stop. He followed that up by pushing the one-legged kid with the one broken leg in a wheelchair DOWN A FLIGHT OF STEPS.
On Raw last night, CM Punk interrupted the TOTALLY NOT MAKING ME CRY Undertaker tribute to Paul Bearer and shat all over his memory, then followed it up by beating up Kane with his own father’s urn. It might not beat Brock for least reasonable heel thing, but it’s close, and exactly what CM Punk needs if they’re gonna make people boo him at big events (not gonna happen) or make us think he’s got a shot in Hell of beating Taker at Mania. He doesn’t, but they should be working hard to make us think he does. My only complaint is that WWE spent all night yelling THAT URN IS A SYMBOL, A SYMBOLIC SYMBOL OF THE UNDERTAKER’S POWER. I was a little bugged that they don’t mind saying Taker and Kane have lightning and fog and fire powers, but think “the urn is the source of his power” is too much. I guess they did it so people wouldn’t think Paul Bearer was IN the urn, which would’ve been AWESOME. Especially if Punk had found an excuse to dump it out on somebody.
If you’re gonna get gross about real-life deaths, go all the way with it.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
If the Shield really wanted to look like the Bossman they could show up at Paul Bearer’s funeral.
Billy Gunn’s bald spot would be perfectly fixed by Lesnar’s thin plate of hair.
Well, tune in next week when Triple H responds to Brock Lesnar.
Then, tune in the next week to watch Brock Lesnar sign his half of the contract.
Then, tune in the following week to watch Triple H sign his half.
Then, tune in the week after that to watch Brock Lesnar announce the stipulation.
Then, make sure to tune in that next week to watch Triple H respond to Brock’s stipulation.
Then, tune in, to…oh look, Wrestlemania was 2 weeks ago.
Jinder Mahal is hiding under Slater’s corpse, hoping no one will notice him.
I haven’t seen a Scotsman treated like that since the ending of Braveheart
Can we start calling Reigns Spear the Pilum?
Whole Lotta Denim
My favorite Paul Bearer moment was when David Schwimmer finally kissed Gwyneth Paltrow
That segment was courtesy of Vladimir Nabokov
“Punk has the urn! VINTAGE KAMA”
See you next week, everybody.