Tonight on the WWE Raw open discussion thread:
With Mr. McMahon still recovering from hip replacement surgery, what will unfold when WWE Champion The Rock comes to Monday’s Raw? Here are five reasons to tune in at 8/7 CT on USA Network as Elimination Chamber looms large on The Road to WrestleMania. (via WWE.com)
1. That picture is of Gnash, the mascot of the Nashville Predators, hanging out with the Undertaker the night before Raw, in the building where Raw is tonight. So, spoiler alert: the Nashville Predators mascot might be on Raw.
2. The Rock is in the house! This is the go-home Raw before Elimination Chamber, which is important, because:
3. I am headed to New Orleans to attend Elimination Chamber live. The reason I’ve included this as a Raw preview point is because whenever I’m live for wrestling shows, they are the WORST. Remember when Randy Orton punted Vince McMahon in the head and was the new Stone Cold Steve Austin? I attended Raw the next week. The one where Shane McMahon showed up and little brother punched Legacy the death. I was live for that “every man for himself” War Games. I was live for Kennel From Hell. I was live for Daniel Bryan losing to Sheamus in 18 seconds. Beware the Elimination Chamber, and everything that builds to it.
4. Guess what? I missed a week of Raw reports and Mark Henry AND Jack Swagger returned to the show. So … uh, hey, I enjoy writing these reports and all, but if you want the wrestling to be good, maybe I should give up watching and concentrate on making jokes about ‘Arthur.’
5. Have we settled on “WWE All-Stars” as the Cena/Sheamus/Ryback team name, or are we calling them John Greenback?
As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s open discussion thread will be included in tomorrow’s Best and Worst of Raw report. You can recommend one of those for top 10 status by replying to it with a +1. Don’t just try to out-joke each other, okay? It’s an “open discussion thread,” not a live mic. (note: I also like jokes.)
Enjoy the show.
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Watched The Rock’s promo again. Man, it was horrible and pointless.
Looking at this picture, I have to wonder, is Undertaker’s new persona Rocky Balboa?
“I shoulda broke your thumbs!”
I don’t know if you can do it Brandon, but I’d love to see an eight page or a separate article of all the dumb Valentines Cards we made in the comments.
Also, Linda McMahon’s political career is officially over so say hello to Zeb Coulter! Old enough to be Ann Coulter’s daddy? Yes?
I somehow cancelled my recording of raw when I started my recording of The Following. I’m gonna call it a win.
FINALLY !!!
I’VE COLLECTED ALL THE PRECIOUS BADGES !! I’M THE KING OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD !!!
I just got badge 20 also! Although I don’t remember getting badge 19.
So Punk isn’t winning on Sunday, is he?
Ha ha.
No.
(Unless they figure out between now and then that Taker will be unable to go at ‘Mania, in which case he could win as a set up to a triple threat match. And even that would seem a longshot)
Holy smokes. The Dazzler would be traumatized by Big-E’s singlet and that’s saying something.
Holy thit Jack Swagger hath a rathist uncle!
Literally felt asleep as soon as the rock came out…did I miss anything?
Are you sure you fell asleep and you don’t have a super power of shutting down when you detect a middle aged man about to rant about nothing for 20 minutes?
I saw Ziggler lose to Kane and The Rock segment. That is all. :(
There is a Shield shirt. That is all.
And it looks TERRIBLE compared to the one Barbershop Window came up with.
Do like “Justice isn’t free” part though.
Sick and fucking tired of WWE “leaking” that superstars are in the area and then they don’t end up on tv. Seriously, what’s the point of the dirt sheets showing us a picture of Gnash if he isn’t gonna show up?!?
+1
I’m only to “Mark Henry, BEASTMODE.” so far because I live in a place where Raw starts at 12 AM est, plus I have to wait for Mrs. 907 to go to bed before I watch the show. That was a long way of saying I haven’t seen the whole show yet. I’ve had this bad feeling the last few days though, that Cesaro’s whole “won’t lose to an American” bit is going to end with him losing the strap to Mr. Marth himself. I really, REALLY hope I’m wrong. Please Wrestlebros, tell me I’m wrong. I’m not against Cesaro losing, but not to him. Shit, let FandangoO win it from him in his debut. Anything but the All American American American American.
Mr. Marth isn’t going to take the title from Cesaro. He’s too building fulfilling the white man’s burden with Zeb at the Klan rallies.
Heyman should have “White Fang”ed CM Punk and throw rocks at him until he leaves.
I would have cried.
Why not just shoot him Ol’ Yeller style?
Either would break my heart.
I was close to crying. If he did that I definitely would have cried.
Also, fuck The Rock for making gay panic jokes over a beautiful friendship.
Grammar Edit: Heyman should have “White Fang”ed CM Punk and thrown rocks at him until he left.
This was the most boring Raw.
Super disappointed that Rhodes Scholars broke up to job to other people’s plot points, you guys.
They were just jobbing to Hell No’s storyline for months before breaking up.
They could easily reunite for the next quickly aborted revival of tag team wrestling in WWE.
This is true, shabby. Sad, but true.
Oh, and is Shield vs Team HGH just a regular 6-man tag? I assumed it was getting a gimmick. That’s bullshit of the highest order.
The match itself IS a gimmick. ONCE…no TWICE…no THREE TIMES IN A LIFETIME JOHN CENA TEAMS WITH BIG NAME STARS TO JOB OUT LITTLE GUYS…
The Rock made me smile despite making no goddamn sense. It just really feels like he’s coasting on his natural charm and guaranteed crowd reactions rather than working to sell the storyline though. I wish he’d work heel against Cena, so he’d have to put some effort into getting booed.
Jack Swagger has been unstoppable…for two weeks.
Daniel Bryan had to beat Rey to get in, Mark Henry had to murder Rey, Jericho had to beat DBry, and Kane had to beat Ziggler.
Swagger beat Santino and Ryder. Clearly fair.
Alex Riley is the Jerry West of WWE.
So many +1s
I will be referring to Alex Riley as “The Logo” from now on. +1 to you, sir.
Also, here’s a theory: Do you think Mizark kills someone else on Smackdown and Ziggler worms his way back into the chamber? I think he needs to be throwing himself around in every gimmick match ever at this point.
He’s cashing in after the WHC match, so I doubt it.
How do I know that? Because everyone made such a big deal out of the winner of ADR vs. Big Show going to Wrestlemania.
Personally, I like the idea of Jericho winning, going to Mania, winning the title, only for Ziggler to cash in then and take it. Then Jericho/Ziggler 2/3 falls at Extreme Rules. I can haz??
Downtown Bruno was referencing Rocky hanging out with Sammartino, right? It’s more cross marketing, right?
Ryback never can have his pyro hit when the music pauses, can he?
Batista had the same problem. Used to bug the hell out of me.
Yeah, right when Batista had his song upgraded he did it perfectly timed for like 3 weeks and it was pretty boss, but after that, not a once.
Just got off work, should I watch Raw?
Yes
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
don’t listen to the voices !
the answer is certainly NOT !!!
don’t worry ! brandon will include the best moments in gifs (probably) and you won’t miss anything … especially ANOTNIO F*CKING THE BEST AND WHY IS HE NOT THE CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS UNIFYING ALL THE WORLD TITLES IN THE WWE AND BECOMING THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION FOREVER CESARO just surpassing brock lesner by miles in how to beat miz up creatively !!!
YES! It was a surprisingly good episode.
What the Shield needs are Ginyu Force poses
Brad Maddox is definitely Goldo
Roman Reigns is Recoome
Raw ended 29 minutes ago and I still have no fucking idea what that Rock promo was about.
I feel like an alien just came down, landed on my lawn, floated up to my bedroom window, fingered my asshole, and then whispered in my ear, “I’m so sorry, but I have no choice.”
Only more confused.
Wait…are you the crackhead who sold The Rock a car?
Absolutely not.
I was the one asleep in the back.
I didnt know there were old racist vets on mars
That must be in one of the lost chapters. The Dead Sea Scrolls of JSoM.
Zeb only got the job because he’s the guy who voted for Linda McMahon.
OH MAN AWA HAD HANS DeHASS VS BRAD RHEINGANS…ALL THE CLASSICS
Oh hey…Undertaker didn’t show up.
Fuck you lede.
Yes, more Alex Riley tonight in Sky Sports bonus match!
My Raw experience, as I work late and don’t get home until the very end of Raw on Mondays:
-Turn on TV just as Rock’s music hits. “Oh fuck this.” Turn TV off.
-Eat some late dinner.
-Turn TV back on, see Punk kick Rock’s ass. “Oh thank God.”
Seeing Punk holding the title and Rock acting like he’s having a brain hemorrage are two of my favorite things!
Heyman doing promos,
Ziggler’s selling,
Cody’s moustache,
Dbry’s everything,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the King talks,
when the Rock sings,
when Jern’s jorts make me sad,
I think of some of these few little things
and suddenly don’t feel bad
+1 to mikeybot
No Rock, the reason why girls didn’t want to give you their pie back then isn’t because they thought you were an undercover cop, it’s because you’re an asshole!
Also because he was a black(ish) guy in the south.
I trailed off near the end but I can’t wait for this Rock Vs. Crackhead match at Elimination Chamber!
winner drives home a ’79 ford Thunderbird!
ADR now wants into this match.
Cole: “That’s a vintage Ford Thunderbird he’s coming to the ring in! It has floor mats, power steering and 140 horses under the hood. It’s worth upwards of $700!
Cena: “RENTAL!”
Downtown Bruno is the special enforcer
Second crackhead is on a pole!
Jeff Jarrett is trending…ha…amazing
Eh that wasn’t so bad. At least Rock’s terrible story kind of had a direction and wasn’t a random jumble of words like usual.
SARCASM !!!
Question for all of you: regardless of what’s likely to happen, what would rather see: seperate Punk-Taker and Rock-Cena matches, or a Punk-Cena-Rock-Taker WWE Championship Fatal Four-Way?
Separate Punk-Taker and Rock-Cena.
At least that way I’ll enjoy one of the matches.
Separate.
Probably, Rock-Cena and Punk-Taker. I remember Wrestlemania 2000 and it sucked.
Yeah, separate would work better
Separate matches, without a doubt. The quicker Punk gets away from the likes of Cena and The Rock when they’re in God mode, the better.
A fatal four way would be a great way to let Punk and Cena keep up a fast paced match while Taker and Rock taking giant gulps of rest outside the ring. AAAAAAND Punk and Taker would both probably do that walking on the top rope arm drag thing.
They wouldn’t have the balls to do one nowadays, but the talent would be better than 2000, Foley was gassed and Show was sloppy back then
I’ll never know why they just didn’t do Rock vs. HHH at that event like what was logically calling for ALL YEAR.
Of those two options, Punk/Taker and Cena/Rock, although Punk/Cena/Rock has the possibility of being decent.
Lesnar and The Rock have the same track pants and hideous shoes fashion sense, is that where Attitude comes from? I always thought it was Shawn Michaels bare ass.
I tell my gf the same thing punk said all the time. Not about a title though
So. That happened. The Rock can sell moves like a mofo though. Gotta respect it. So I thought this was an enjoyable show. Good matches, nice opening. Whatevs ending. What do y’all think?
Overall, 2 straight good Raws in a row. Always a plus when Mark Henry, Big Show, and Antonio Cesaro just beat on people
Terrific first hour, decent second hour…and then third hour is total garbage. Still, a dramatic improvement from previous weeks! I will still dread this Sunday.
That Punk did not say that story time was over because it was time to go to sleep will be a forever disappoint.
It gets worse fellas…
This time next week, we’ll be seeing Rock vs Cena segments.
I’m sure punk will be the kurt angle of it for a bit, whining about how he should be in the main event… hopefully, hed be good involved
Elimination Chamber this Sunday? Sorry, I have an All Star Game to watch and 50 dollars to save
Rock does sell things like he’s dying for real, I’ll give him that.
Idk, it just makes him look like more of a douche when he hits an elbow drop AND WINS
The Rock always sold well. Hell he made Hogan look like a beast, when he could barely move.
Yeah, Rock sells well.
It may be his only redeeming trait.
Shhhh
Well that was…an ending
Of all the endings they could have chosen, that was one.
YESSSSSSSSSSS TAKE THAT TITLE
Now Brock destroy? Now Brock destroy.
SNAPS IN A Z FORMATION!!!!!!!!!!!
“I want you to know, I don’t hate you Rock…I like you a hell of a lot more than I like some of the guys in the back…I just hate this idea that you’re the best, because you’re not…I’m the best”