I totally meant that you should watch sports, bros. I mean, who wants to watch an hour of the best couple in sitcom history getting married? Not me, bros. No way, I want to watch dudes doing pushups and slam dunks and hockey goals and guys pulling trucks full of TNT with a chain attached to their nut sacks.
Nope, I’ve got zero interest in watching Leslie and Ben get married tonight. No sir.
NASCAR: Camping World Truck Series practice – 6 PM ET on SPEED
Normally, who the f*ck watches Camping World Truck Series practice, right? But now that Christmas Abbott is our favorite pit crew member in the entire world, it’s worth watching in case they show Jennifer Jo Cobb’s practice and we see Christmas and she’s like, “Hey With Leather, what’s up?” Because that kind of stuff happens in my universe.
NCAA Basketball: Cincinnati at Connecticut – 7 PM ET on ESPN
NCAA Basketball: Georgia at Arkansas – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2
NCAA Basketball: Missouri at Kentucky – 7 PM ET on ESPN U
NCAA Basketball: Drexel at Delaware – 7 PM ET on NBC Sports
NCAA Basketball: Duke at Virginia Tech – 9 PM ET on ESPN
And there are some other late games of worth, but I want to talk about Duke for a second. After my last two posts about Duke, people were all pissy with me, saying that I was anti-Duke and just another hater or something stupid like that. Let it be known that I love Duke basketball. I gave up on my school’s men’s basketball team succeeding a long time ago and for at least a decade I have always cheered on Duke, because I wanted to know what it’s like to be a shameless bandwagon frontrunner. I just don’t like when people make fun of dead grandmas. Not cool, fellow Duke fans.
NBA: Miami at Chicago – 8 PM ET on TNT
The NBA trade deadline came and went and teams either did something or they did nothing. And those teams’ fans are either furious or ecstatic. That’s pretty much the entire NBA trade deadline summed up right there, and eventually I’ll sift through all of the bullsh*t spread by agents and find out what actually happened.
Bellator MMA – 10 PM ET on Spike
Yay, free fisty punches!