Best: Hulk Hogan, despite Consummate Worst Brooke Hogan
I don’t think there was a single thing I didn’t enjoy about Hulk Hogan during this episode. It’s a shame this isn’t up on YouTube, because despite how terrible Brooke Hogan is at everything that’s not wearing sparkly dresses and pencil skirts that make me covet her wardrobe, he has so many moments that seem almost totally genuine. Either he’s becoming a better actor, or he’s realized that not every single thing has to be Hulking up and shouting stuff and catchphrases.
One of my absolute favourite things is when actors or actresses have an authentic reaction to something. For instance, whenever Lucille Ball would laugh at something on I Love Lucy. And I mean really truly be amused with something. Not breaking, necessarily, but a moment of legitimate amusement that didn’t happen often, but when it did, it was like seeing them for the first time, and being connected to them in a way that went beyond how you’re supposed to feel as a viewer.
This is almost what I’m getting with Hulk Hogan. He’s softened up, and it seems like he really means things. He really likes Joseph Park, and stands behind him, and wants him to be successful. He wants to put a belt on Bully Ray (because seriously TNA, please put the championship belt on Bully Ray), but for once he remembers that he can’t just pull stuff out of thin air and do what he wants, because he’s got at least eight guys who all “deserve” a title shot as well. He seems to really love Sting, and calls him the greatest wrestler of all time. I might disagree with him, but it’s crazy to hear someone who really is the most popular, well known wrestler of all time, and who is often viewed as selfish and narcissistic, putting someone over to such a great extent. Later on there’s a segment where Hogan confides in Sting (and complains about Brooke’s whining haha), then leaves to go to the ring. He goes the wrong way down the hallway, Sting points it out, and then they’re just sarcastic jerks to each other like any two friends would be in real life. They seem comfortable and like pals and I love it.
Additional Best: I will never stop loving this face as long as I live
Best: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
This totally, 100% makes up for all of the worsts and whatevers I’ve given this show, because goddamn this was great. This is entirely in the running for one of my favourite matches of the year, and guys, I’ve already seen the Estonian Thunder Frog live. I love everything about it: The slow build, the story they’re trying to tell, the actual match once it gets going, just…everything. I don’t even know where to begin besting this, because everything was so on pointe, and so enjoyable. Not a single thing could get a worst from thi-
Worst: GET OFF OF MY TV CHAVANDEZ
Best: I KNOW, I WAS WORRIED TOO BRO
Don’t worry guys, the Robbies are totally fine, and totally still coordinating their outfits, and TNA better not ever do what they did last week if they know what’s good for them because, you know, I will write ANGRY WORDS ON THE INTERNET and stuff.
Worst: Aces & Eights interrupt Hogan’s decision, because of course they do
Options for dealing with Aces & Eights now that the Impact Zone is kaput:
1) Just call the cops when they show up to local arenas
2) Just get a second or third guy in the ring, because they don’t seem to understand how being outnumbered works
3) Just don’t look
Don’t make us poke your eyes out, Hogan.