"On this next take, maybe try no shirt."

“A great Super Bowl commercial tells a story,” says some girl as the behind-the-scenes look at Kate Upton’s already-famous Mercedes Super Bowl ad begins. “No it doesn’t,” I reply as I think back to the zero times that I’ve ever yelled, “Shut up everyone, I want to hear the words to this car commercial”, in between pouring tequila bombs at a Super Bowl party. A good Super Bowl commercial, according to me, is short and sweet, with a softball setup and a home run punchline.

Take, for instance, the “Running of the Squirrels” commercial from several years ago. I don’t know what EDS is, but I remember this EDS commercial all these years later because it was simple. Upton’s Mercedes commercial, though, isn’t as memorable, at least not compared to her previous Carl’s Jr. ad. However, in Mercedes’ defense, what we saw was just a teaser, and there’s a much more elaborate concept in store for us come Sunday (or after the jump).

“The concept was, we kind of saw the idea of signing a deal with the devil,” says a gentleman with large hair, and that concept certainly hits home with me, as I have offered my soul on multiple occasions to Lucipher in exchange for Upton. But this commercial is actually about Willem Dafoe’s creepy ass playing the role of a devilish-figure, trying to seduce a man into selling his soul for the perfect life, which includes a brand new Mercedes CLA, partying with Usher and, of course, Kate Upton. I’m more of a Jeep guy, but I’d still sign.

Directed by Dante Ariola (hehehehehehehehehe!!!) this commercial isn’t as simple as we originally expected, and you can get a feel for it with this special behind-the-scenes video. The Upton fun begins around the 1:35 mark, and I’m worried that she sounds a little hoarse. Like she’s been fighting with Justin Verlander and yelling, “YOU’RE NO BURNSY!” Come on, Satan, answer your phone.

Grade: INC