We’ll get to the actual Fiesta Bowl matchup in a moment, but I want to talk about Tostitos for a second. Remember that election spoof commercial that they aired during the campaign (and even now) with the two dudes that clearly represent Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, as well as the moderator who looks just like Rachel Maddow? Of course you do, it’s this one right here. Okay, well forget the political commentary, because that’s not what’s bothering me.

Don’t you think that if you were sitting in a large auditorium, listening to two of the world’s most powerful people speak, that someone would freak the f*ck out and overreact when a talking, dancing bag of tortilla chips entered the room? I just find it a little hard to believe that the Secret Service would be so trusting of snack food, that’s all.

NCAA Football: Tostitos Fiesta Bowl – Oregon vs. Kansas State – 8:30 PM ET on ESPN

Does Chip Kelly already have his bags checked and waiting in a cab’s trunk outside of the University of Phoenix Stadium? I say yes. Now it’s just a matter of which NFL team he’ll run to in order to dodge the oncoming wrath of the NCAA against Oregon’s football program. Then again, Nike will probably threaten to nuke the NCAA if anything happens, so this is a non-story.

NCAA Men’s Basketball: Michigan at Northwestern – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2

I’m just tuning in to see if Chet Haze is performing the halftime show. “CHET HAZE! NORFWESSERN! DEUCE-ZERO-ONE-TRIPS! KINETIC GET AT IT, SON! JOE VERSUS DA VOLCANO IN DA MUTHA F*CKIN HEEZOUSE!”

TNA Impact Wrestling – 8 PM ET on Spike

I watched 5 whole minutes of last week’s show and I laughed so hard. I mean, I watched RVD come out and do his “call out” for the show, and I just cracked up like I was watching a Bill Engvall show. Wait no, a Louis CK show. Wow, almost just blew my UPROXX street cred there.

Anyway, will Hulk Hogan do something huge or will he just promote his new restaurant? The Mouth of the South was there, so you know the grand opening was legit.