Double Dribble

I’ve never been good at recognizing basketball penalties. I know the rules of the game, but I’m almost always wrong. LeBron James gets a pass at half court, tucks the ball under his arm and f**king Frankenstein walks 40 feet into a dunk and my brain goes HEY WAIT A SECOND, but nope, the person next to me helpfully explains that they “get two steps!” I’m never right. Also, LeBron James has never carried or traveled.

Amir Johnson has made me feel a little better about my eye-to-brain malfunctions with probably the worst violation I’ve ever seen a professional player get away with. It’s not even debatable. He dribbles the ball, stops, then just dribbles again and takes his shot. You can’t even get mad at it. Everyone who saw it just stood around laughing afterward, because holy shit there were three referees watching him do it.

Video vindication of my terrible basketball-watching abilities is after the jump.

If he could get away with that, he should’ve spent the next 10 minutes pulling a Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl thing where he just holds the ball over his head and runs around in circles to show off the fact that nothing can stop him.

And here’s this, while I’m thinking about it:

I wish actual jumpshots sounded like bombs dropping.

[h/t to Ball Don't Lie]