Yesterday, for no apparent reason, Olympic gold medalist swimmer and future Academy Award-winning actor Ryan Lochte gave his Twitter followers a huge gift when he announced that he’d be answering their questions for “#AskLochte” once again. Once Lochte Tweeted, “Let’s go!”, the gates were opened wide for his fans and critics alike to ask the most important, thought-provoking questions they could think of to get inside that complex brain of his. Questions like:

For one whole whopping hour, Lochte really gave us a glimpse into what makes that beautiful face of his operate. After the jump, I’ve included some of the best questions that people asked, as well as the questions that Lochte actually answered. And for some extra poops and giggles, I’ll let my favorite South Park characters walk us through it.

First, here were some of my favorite questions that people asked:

(Seriously, someone get that guy on a federal watch list.)

Sweetheart, I think you’re barking up the wrong tree with that request. That said, let’s see which amazing questions he did answer.