Pre-show notes:
- Comments, shares, likes, and especially Reddit submissions/up votes are appreciated. I will also accept Pinterest shares, if you are reading this and are Destiny.
- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
- GIFS courtesy of Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.
- If you’d like to laugh at something wrestling-related that ISN’T the Best and Worst of Raw report, make sure you check out my thorough gallery of old WCW promo photos. Part 2 is going up tomorrow, so check back for that, as well.
- (tomorrow is my birthday, don’t tell anybody)
(and don’t feel like you’ve got to fill up the comments section with birthday messages, just share these columns and stuff.)
- I am going to be LIVE AND IN THE HOUSE AND THE ST. LOUIS ANARCHY REP IN THE REY DE VOLADORES TOURNAMENT for National Pro Wrestling Day in Philadelphia on February 2. If you want to hang out and say hi and see some great wrestling, come to this thing.
- Due to time restrictions I’m not going to be able to throw a Jack Swagger Of Mars into this week’s report, but all that means is that you’ll get a double-shot next week. Or I’ll just write all the middle chapters at once and put them in a big finale piece. Whatever you wanna do.
Until then, please click through for the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for January 14, 2013.
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“…he should change the Bullhammer to the “Dog Boner,” because when he’s ready to f**k you, the red comes out.”
What a remarkable sentence.
“use Pinterest and your Destiny”
Hilarious start
I think these two morons who did an air raid off a roof through a table were two of Dean Ambrose’s friends:
[www.youtube.com]
Destiny, that is your calling. A Wrestling PinBoard of Awesome. I will follow it.
WHITE NOISE! WHITE NOISE!
dog boner forever
If I make one lasting contribution to the wrestling industry, I want it to be Wade Barrett’s Dog Boner.
This might be the truest test of whether or not WWE creative really reads the column. Next week Barret will either have a different color elbow pad or they’ll rename his finisher the red rocket.
..and his mascot, Matilda.
I will have a bulldog named Matilda someday. It is known.
Ever since they put he musical chairs segment on the RAW 15th anniversary DVD I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT! Like, for years I just pop it in to bring me joy.
Also I think a Cesaro/Clay feud where Cesaro wins the Dactyls as his new entrance accompaniment would be the best thing ever
especially if he makes them walk out in full clothing, reading a book or something
As awesome as that would be, a white man acquiring two black women through a legally binding contract against the will of said women would not go over well with a lot of people.
damn it Thatsamare, way to ruin everything.
then Broadus can change his name to bRoadus (the B is silent) and it’d be the best slavery angle WWE’s done since Shelton Benjamin’s mom was there
Oh, like the WWE is afraid of being racist…
STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS! ;)
Holy shit. Danielle’s on fiyah.
Fantastic job as always!
I have never been as annoyed as I was with the steel cage match. Ric Flair was dead when the NWO smashed his head in the cage door, but Cena hops up like a Mac dock icon and wins over a guy that did pretty much everything he could to put on a good show. It was upsetting.
And I’m fully behind on both the Diva’s match and the Foley/Amrbose thing.
Always enjoy reading this, even if I suck as a full participant all the time.
“hops up like a Mac dock icon” made me really lol.
Mac Dock Icon gets a +1 from me.
Your thoughts on the Big Show are on the money, he’s been the best written character on the show for the last year maybe because he’s been one of the most consistant and his motivations have always remained clear and understandable, even if they are loathsome.
DOG BONER / HOW COME YOU LOOK SO GOOD / DOG BONER / OH, JUST LIKE A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD, NOW
Were these two of Dean Ambrose’s idiot friends?
[www.youtube.com]
Cena’s intolerable. The show starts so great, then the last half hour/fourty-five mintues ruin the night.
This one again confirms that Best Worst and Live Chats are the only reason I still watch Raw
Yay Kaitlyn!
I’d like to point out two moments about the Rock segment that actually made it a little worse for me;
- The plebian announcers hooting and hollering when the Rock hits his punchlines, because we really needed a laughtrack, and
- The Rock going “stay where you are, Vickie” when she’s starting to get upset, which is dangerously close to Actual Spousal Abuse levels.
Calling Shaemus their racist friend totally makes “Racist Friend” by They Might Be Giants relevant.
I tried so hard to expound on that reference, but couldn’t work it into the paragraph.
Terrific call.
I certainly didn’t want to stand there listening to you (Ryback) and his racist friend.
Singing it to myself right now.
I don’t get Cena. Why does he even have matches? He could be like the Rock, wrestle for the title once a year, and act all invincible then.
He sells merch. If he don’t pop up Popeye style kids might start thinking he’s not invincible and then he’ll sell less.
Cena should watch what Randy Orton did in that match with Barrett. You CAN lose cleanly once in a while. Unfortunately, that goes against Cena’s belief that the best thing for business is for him to be perfect and indestructible at all times. Because who needs the burden of relatability, right?
amen
“And you know what? That last shot of the Rock squinting from the ramp as WWE types held CM Punk back was pretty much the WWE’s “eyes of Dr T.J. Eckleberg” billboard.
BOOM. THAT JUST HAPPENED. I never have to read this column again. I mean, I *will*, but…if something happened, and I never could read it again, that would be fine. Because of that line.
I’m glad Eve’s gone. Not because I dislike her, because I don’t, I’m fairly indifferent. I just think she deserves better than that phony dump.
Oh, fuck you Brandon. Your sentence about giving the Funkadactyls to Cesaro has given me a marvelous vision of Antonio agreeing to give Brodus a title shot despite having so handily beating him in the past if he puts Naomi and Cameron’s contracts on the line.
They have a tightly contested PPV opener and Cesaro wins when Brodus takes his eyes off the ball resulting in Cesaro forcing crying children to dance with the Funkadactyls to his un-danceable theme music after all his matches and Brodus finally develops some sort of mean streak.
It is a classic wrestling angle — but one we will sadly never see.
Dude. That would be amazing.
[i49.tinypic.com]
I told all you fuckers, but NO ONE WOULD LISTEN.
*hides her copy of Knucklehead*
I actually enjoyed Knucklehead, YEAH I SAID IT! COME AT ME (WRESTLING) BROS!
I actually got a Carrie reference out of that.
I like it enough to own it which means…that I found it at a severely discounted price and got really excited about it.
$5 bin at Walmart FTW!
I found a $25 signed copy of Hogan’s autobiography at Half Price Books. I’m going to see how long it stays there…
If you don’t mind my asking, why do you rant about the Rock being disrespectful to women, homosexuals, and Jerry Lawler being racist, yet you don’t mention anything about the disrespectful comments/jokes about eating disorders last night? My girlfriend has battled anorexia for almost ten years, so when Michael Cole casually calls Cody Rhodes’ mustache an “anorexic catapillar,” it becomes uncomfortable for her. Then to have JBL say that maybe it needs to visit “Dr. Shelby because it has an eating disorder,” it only further causes a normally enjoyable experience into one that isn’t. I’m not calling you out or trying to start anything. I’m just generally curious as to why it wasn’t addressed.
Overall, great column. Keep up the good work.
I think part of it is that I was bulimic for most of my adult life, and I’ve already had so many wars about food in this column thanks to Daniel Bryan’s stint as a vegan that I didn’t let it stick in my brain, as a defense mechanism against having to write about it.
Very fair. I appreciate your honesty and can safely say, that while I may not have an eating disorder, they fucking suck.
My wife has one, too. Not fun.
That kid’s terribly drawn Sheamus poster was one of my favorite things last night, for whatever reason.
1. I love that Big E is doing a McKayla face in that screencap
2. It would really be galling if Miz starts using the figure-four when Ziggler is just DYING for a legit finisher and even had the bleached-blonde hair look
A minor worst: A lot of the Raw montages were reminders of why watching Raw can seem more like a task than entertainment. There has been some amazing moments on Raw, and all they could come up with is Max Moon, Naked Mideon, DX 3.0 and Bastion MF’ong Booger?
It was a major worst for me. 20 years worth of shows and they played maybe 5 minutes worth of hastily edited clips? Seemed like a big wank of time.
Great review, as usual.
I never thought that I could not enjoy Ric Flair…but here we are.
Judging by their constant giggling during Rocky’s sketches, I assume they place Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler into the studio audiences for all of their sitcoms.
Ric Flair’s Wooing last night reminded me of the time Human Bender died.
[youtu.be]
+1 .
also +1
I muted Vickie’s song, but based on that picture, if Vickie’s considered fat, then Rocky has been spending too much time around skeleton supermodels who throw up after they’ve eaten a cracker.
Heyman’s song was about how he was fat. Vickie’s song was about how she’s ugly and a bitch, and also a cheap hooker.
Oh. Well then in that case, she’s not ugly, bitches get s*** done, and she could probably get at least $500 if she so desires.
Paul is kind of chubby though.
I cried with laughing at the Rock’s “Last week you said that facing you would be like boxing with God. Well – YOU’RE NOT GOD” and Punk and Heyman literally saying what I was saying – “It took him a WEEK to come up with that?” Dear me.
I seriously think Big Show is the biggest (pun) company man in the wwe today. He’ll seriously do anything if he feels it benefits his storyline. That interview he did a month or so ago where he said something like “I’ll lose every single match if it means the story is put over as it’s intended” made me respect the man considerably more.
Anyhow, excellent stuff, Brandon. I’d never seen that Maryse slap and oh my god was not ready for that. The Katilyn part got me thinking, she could so easily become the female Cena. Whether that’s a good thing is another matter, but it’d sure be beneficial to her. And it needs to be said again that Danielle is a wordular marvel. I’m sad for not discovering her sooner.
Don’t be sad, Mr. Snrub! There wasn’t really anything to discover! Not that I’m being self-deprecating, I just didn’t write things for other people to read. Be a happy Snrub!
As always, excellent write up, Brandon.
Question that you’re probably not going to answer, but I’m going to give it a shot anyway: You grew up in Southern Virginia; was it in the Hampton Roads area? And a bonus question if you did: Were you outside that Monday that DX rolled up to the Norfolk Scope? Every time they play that clip, I get a little excited because I’m IN that clip. I’d be more excited if I knew that one of the writers I respect the most was out there that night as well.
No, I was born in Danville. We moved to North Carolina at some point during middle school, then briefly back to Danville, and I settled in high school in Lynchburg. Went to college in Salem. I wasn’t at that Raw, but I WAS at the one where Austin drove his pick-up truck into the building and parked it in the crowd.
Brandon, did you go to Roanoke College? If so, I want to go back in time and leave you wrestling notes in the mailroom, like you’re Keanu Reeves and the Colket Center is The Lake House.
Big Beefer with a The Lake House reference. +1
yep! I’m a Maroon.
I’ve always though Brandon was a bit of a maroon, and also a Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay.
Fembot Danielle, that was an excellent article about the Rock.
Why thank you!
Racist Sheamus
And apparently, despite writing out a full thing, my post got eaten.
Attempt deux:
Racist Sheamus
If you’re trying to use symbols that show up in HTML, that could be erasing it.
I was seriously considering buying the Rumble, but the Rock Concert is making me seriously consider pocketing the money. We got Rock-Punk, Punk is bringing he A-game, Rocky is bringing the waste byproducts of crap. If I spend $50 to watch Rocky win the title and Cena win the Rumble, wouldn’t that make ME a cheap prostitute?
I usually don’t agree with all the Rock bashing that goes on in here, but last night was brutal. I’m not sure why WWE and the Rock insist on making Rock Concerts into a thing. They’ve never been enjoyable.
Also, not sure why, but I think the best part of the show was the initial montage of all the horrible Raw themes over the years.
The thing about the Rock Concerts is that they were originally a heel schtick. It’s an inherently obnoxious thing that for whatever goofy reason, people enjoyed so much that Rocky’s doing them as a face. It just doesn’t translate well…
That gif of Sheamus beheading Slater is AMAZING.
Great column as always, Brandon!
Woo! Top ten.
Boo! We really shouldn’t be in a situation where that has to be said.
“Firstly, how DARE you have a wedding montage and not include the three greatest wedding moments in WWE history (in order):
1. Gene Snitsky’s poem
2. Teddy Long having a heart attack
3. Eric Bischoff’s Scooby-Doo reveal during Billy and Chuck’s wedding”
Agreed on #1, but the montage was recapping RAW wrestling wedding moments for the 20th anniversary of the show. #2 and #3 on your list happened on Smackdown.
According to the ratings, Hour 3 (Cena Overcoming the Odd for the 12345th time & Rock Concert) lost 210,000 viewers.
You know, sometimes in life, my faith in humanity is renewed.
There is hope.
Great points about Big Show, it really feels like his current performance is based on his entire career path right now and it has been a great pay off. I felt the same way about Mark Henry’s ‘Hall of Pain” run before his injury.
I also really agree about Kaitlyn, hopefully AJ will eventually get to leave crazy-diva-ville one day and re-join her as a realistic female wrestling character everyone can root for.
And I was also really hoping for an Ambrose heavy promo on Foley as soon as the Shield’s music interrupted his HOF announcement. It could obviously still happen and be built into a storyline heading into Mania, if the group even makes it to Mania as a faction.
“John Cena The Character has become a brutally unbearable caricature of complaints he used to not totally deserve.”
As a guy who was a big Cena fan and apologist until he ripped Michael Cole’s clothes off and sprayed him with BBQ sauce, I can’t agree with this enough.
Man i miss two weeks of wrestling and almost nothing changes. I mean yeah adr won a major championship and a title change happened, but am i incorrect in that it feels like nothing happened?
On a side note, I think everyone is being too hard on cena and the rock and not putting the blame where it belongs: the booker. Rock hasn’t wrestled full time since 2002, i’ll give him a little slack if he’s regressed in his promo skills, reading from scripts will do that. Cena, on the other hand, has to know he shouldn’t be hogging so much of the show, but ultimately he answers to higher powers. Think of hogan and tripps, they had creative control and basically ruined thier credability.
Sorry for the mini rant i just felt it had to be said.
Also, i really wish that if flair somehow does become ziggler’s manager, it would be great if it came from a miz ziggler feud, possibly at wrestlemania.
Ethics question for Brandon…
Would it be sinking to Rock’s level to vocally remind everyone that Rocky had what was essentially breast reduction surgery during the Attitude Era and should under no circumstances be ridiculing anyone for having man bosoms, or would that be justified given Rock’s taunts to Heyman?
Disregard! The last page of the report is now up and I think we have your answer. =)
If they’re going to make Cena superhuman in the ring, it would really make his character better to have weaknesses outside of it. There’s an obvious one staring them right in the face, too: John Cena is bad with women. He’s divorced, he drove away A.J., he royally screwed up the Ryder and Eve relationship. It’s a flaw that makes him infinitely more relatable to adults, 10 year old boys think girls are disgusting anyway and won’t care if their hero is bad at relationships, and they don’t have to change his character in any way to make it a thing.
Also, no love for my recasting of The Great Gatsby with Eve and Alex? *sniffle* Now I don’t believe in nothing no more. I’m going to law school!
All the Alex* and Eve relationship comments were great, but I think the fact that they are mostly based on something dumb I wrote on a one page B&W of RAW, (live from Las Vegas), report I gave to Brandon a year ago AND NOT a comment based on the action going on in the ring, hurt its chances of being in the Top 10.
If it’s any consolation, it’s on the Top 10 in my heart. :)
Brandon, I enjoyed the write up as always, but I was talking with a friend of mine about the show, and said “I loved the parts of the show I always love, and I hated the parts I always hate.” I realized that there is really never going to be a change in the way WWE is presented. There is always going to be part of it that we hate, and it won’t even go away when Vince finally retires. The culture of wrestling is similar to many sports cultures, we just see it more frequently in wrestling because men and women interact more often during wrestling than in most other sports. Companies like ACW and Chikara have done great things in the U.S. to promote gender equality in wrestling, but wrestling has always had a reflection of the current culture in it, and until the culture changes in general, wrestling won’t change.
I think all media is a reflection of the current culture, but media also has power over culture. It’s a two way relationship. We are shaped by media as much as we shape it. As you said yourself, Chikara and ACW are promoting gender equality, which helps to create a culture of gender equality among fans.
There’ll always be parts we hate, always someone getting buried and bad storytellling somewhere on the show, but I think the WWE’s problems with sexism, racism and general bullying can be changed by viewers, and if the WWE provides a good example in those areas, it’ll change other viewers opinions too.
Yeah, I think the idea is to put in the effort, because eventually it WILL change, or it’ll go out of business refusing to.
Brandon, you have shamed the good name of Weird Al Yankovic. Fuck you.
Part of me ( most of me ) is glad last night didn’t turn into a Legends Reunion, a la Raw1000, but the idea of bringing in ‘Taker or SCSA holds weight and would’ve made sense, and most likely wouldn’t have been done so for lame comedic purposes. Even Raw1000, with all of its nostalgia spots, gave us the seed for an important story line (not to mention my favorite spot of 2012). It was goofy throughout, but ended in spectacular fashion.
This show? It had the feel that it was hastily produced, because someone backstage remembered 3 weeks ago that a milestone was on the horizon.
CM Punk–man, I’m going to be sad when he loses. Legit sad.
Love the write-up as always. Can’t wait for Swaggerx2!
If no one minds a small tinge of negativity, the Miz is going to hit the Hard Camera Finale on Cesaro at Wrestlemania, isn’t he? And there’s going to be two months of xenophobia leading up to it, right? God I hope I’m wrong.
Miz will probably win the US title, but like I was saying at the start of his aborted feud with Ryback, that’s a good thing for Cesaro ultimately. The day he drops the title is the day his rise to the top begins. After Wrestlemania makes sense, since his ascension would get swallowed up by the bigger name feuds. But I’m calling him winning one of the Money in the Bank matches now.
I think you are right about that. I’d kill for a Cesaro/Barrett MitB sweep, assuming they keep doing two of them. I’m sure it’s just my dual hatred of Miz and blind patriotism making me completely irrational.
“Hard Camera Finale”
Well-played.
Great column Brandon, I particularly enjoyed the part about the dog boner. You’re probably already aware of this but today Chikara posted your favorite match in totale on their Podcast a-go-go.
Danielle–your post on The Wrestling Blog confirmed a few things for me:
1) We’re really not making any progress,
2) You write rather well, and
3) There are some awful people on the Internet.
Bravo.
PS:
Happy birthday, Brandon. If you were in St Paul, I would treat you to a vegan milkshake. Do they make those?
I got a vegan milkshake once in from a woman in an alley in Tijuana. I didn’t know what it was called at the time, but still to this day the smell of sorghum makes me want to burn my clothes again.
I’d like to combine both of your comments to say that I would like to give a vegan milkshake to Danielle.
I would also like to say that I have an awfully gross and out-of-line sense of humor and that what I’m really getting at is that Danielle’s physical attractiveness is only rivaled by her brain attractiveness and that she as a human being is providing a positive impact on this planet we call Earth. Bravo, D.
Holy shit…. I just realized my previous comment makes me look like John Cena, with a disclaimer. My apologies.
I’d like to give Danielle an actual vegan milkshake. With almond milk and coconut milk ice cream.
Aw, thanks guys! I accept all non-dairy non-banana smoothies with love and grace! I decided to get out of that comment thread and come back to this one, and I feel way, way better about things.
Lobwedgeguy: Holy Xenu, you’re right. There’s a lot of terrible people on the internet. I thought that kind of trolling stopped being “cool” 2 years ago.
Hey guys, thank you all for your support on the Open Discussion Thread last night. You really helped me get through a tough time, you are all the best!
I suggest you go the Randy Orton’s wife route from now on and just pick a different woman every episode.
If only it was that easy, shabbydude. I can’t just discard Eve like that. She holds a special place in my heart that I can’t just try to fill with Rosa or AJ or Kaitlyn.
I will meet The Funkadactyls in two weeks and I feel all I will be able to say is: “It’s not the same! Waaaaahhhh! I want Eve back!”
WWE Studios is proud to present its newest film, and its first Spanish-language release: Nueve Vidas Por Amor (Nine Lives For Love)
In this action-comedy, Alberto Del Rio stars as Alex*, the cat who’s got it all: a tie, his best amigo Shabbydude the wisecracking can of spaghettios with a novelty Fish Assholes label, (Ricardo Rodrigues) and the love of his life, the sexy senorita Eve Torres, as herself.
Then, suddenly, Alex*’s vida goes seriously loca, as Eve’s jealous ex-boyfriend Malo Gonzalez (Roman Reigns, in a non-speaking role) steals her away to toil on his taco plantation, while he presides over vicious lucha libre deathmatches.
Now the only way for Alex* to win back his love is to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. Luckily, he’ll have help. Not just his amigo Shabbydude, but also his lucha libre senseii Juan Burrito, (George Lopez) and a special guest appearance by HHH, who inspires Alex* to know that while he’ll never be as cool, or smart, or funny, or tough as The Game himself, he’s still got what it takes to beat Malo.
It’s the movie you “gato si”! Coming soon to one theater in the middle of nowhere, and then WalMarts everywhere!
From the people who brought you Knuckleheads
holy socktopus, i need to see this movie now
Who do I give all my money to so this can happen!?
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
If you try to have AJ, Rosa and/or Kaitlyn fill your hole, you’re doing it wrong and/or backward. :)
Dammit, I really thought I was gonna pull in a top 10 comment this week.
Fantastic write-up as always! Also from one person having a birthday this week to another, Happy Birthday!
That Snitsky poem kills me every time.
The only one better than it is Bossman’s “sorry about your dad” poem to Big Show.
I’m saddened by the lack of love for the Dawn Marie – Torrie’s dad underwear wedding. You know… the one with the awkward old man boner.
“…a few things stuck with me: I will probably always see myself as being more overweight than I actually am, being smarter than someone makes them feel uncomfortable, and boys who loved the Attitude Era kept me from coming back to wrestling for longer than I should have allowed them to.” Amen sister. I achieved my best body at 30, but you never stop seeing that overweight kid in the mirror. You act less smart than you actually are in order to fit in (because eww, who likes “a brain?”). I was a WCW fan at the inception of the Attitude Era so I missed a lot of the crap at that time, but all my guy friends were into WWE where Stone Cold was the man and The Rock was a god. Unfortunately that time has been wrapped up and snugly tucked into a nostalgia blanket so securely that most are remembering a time that never existed.
Danielle, you wrote a beautiful article.
Before I forget, Brandon (not to be confused with Brendan) you wrote a great article as well!
I called him Brendan, he called me Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
And may I say that I always liked brains? The prime crush of my high school years was on the chess team.
Does it make me a strange wrestling fan that I didn’t start watching until I was 19 years old? I was curious about it as a kid, but my parents forbid me to watch it, because they thought it was stupid, and so I started basically as a “Haha you can’t tell me what to do anymore” kind of thing.
It was the summer of 2000, which was arguably the peak of WWF, (Lasting until WM 17) and I was hooked. I don’t really know why I watch anymore. There are moments of brilliance, like Punk’s promo last week, but if I ask myself if wrestling is something I’d want my daughter to watch when she’s older, (She’s 4) I’d say no.
The Rock is still in my nostalgia blanket, even though what he says is indefensible. I wrote a long comment last night about how we should at least appreciate his talents while he’s here, because only Punk is better at being a WWE main event superstar right now. His awfulness is a symptom, and not the cause of wrestling’s many problems with things like homophobia and misogyny. Could he help change it? Yes. Is it human instinct to take the easy way out? Also yes. So I can’t blame anyone for hating the Rock, but I also hope that the people who do understand that liking the Rock is not necessarily synonymous with supporting what the bad parts of his act represent.
Thanks, Heather. I really appreciate it! I feel like if more people understood what it was actually like for some people to go through the same kinds of things, they wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it as reactionary feminist/pessimist wank.
FembotDanielle: You’re welcome! (in the sincere way, not the Sandow way)
Shabbydude, I don’t think it makes you weird that you didn’t start watching until you were 19. I watched since I was 5, stopped at 12-13, then picked it up again when ECW was on at 1:00 am (summer of 1995…I was 14). What really hooked me was Chris Benoit on Nitro in the Fall of 1995. I didn’t tune back into WWE until 1999 when he moved over. What’s weird is that I’m this encyclopedia of professional wrestling, but that goes over really well with my friends, which is why I love them.
Side note: I also learned to appreciate my intelligence, and met a wonderful guy (and wonderful friends) that appreciate that too :-) There is hope in this world!
I don’t hate The Rock. I believe him to be entertaining (and yes I laughed at “not the expensive kind”), although lately he’s a bit bland. I remember my friends talking about girls and wanting a slice of their “poontag pie”, or offer up their “strudel” or whatever. If a girl wasn’t interested in them “they could suck it.” Stone Cold was the ideal anti-authority figure (good luck giving your boss the middle finger in real life kids). Ugh, teenagers…
I realize I’m in the minority, but I was never a huge Stone Cold fan or Rock fan. I liked them, but I wasn’t buying their merchandise. I was a Benoit fan. I became a Batista fan in 2002 (hell, he’s good looking) but the next guy to really make me lose my collective sh*t was Bryan Danielson (and Wade Barrett, see comment below). I didn’t know about him until NXT, but the first night I saw that guy I hit up YouTube and found everything I could on him. He’s a treat EVERY TIME I see him in whatever manner he’s presented. I’m just happy he’s on my television.
While the IWC goes on and on about their hatred of John Cena and The Rock, if it really bothers me that much, I’ll just change the channel.
(Okay, I’ve gone on long enough, sorry for the monologue.)
Sheamless is the type of lad you see hanging around Dublin, shouting drunk crap obnoxiously in the pub being a hindrance to all, talking in a clear “laying it on thick” accent and getting called up for his shit but TAKING OFFENSE and acting like a victim who needs to get retribution. I see it everyday. You have no idea how right you are Brandon about him being an asshole, even if its just a character. But hey “we’re Oirish, we’re great”.
An informing and chuckly read as always Mr Stroud
[espn.go.com]
I just found this today.
In other mainstream crossover news: a New England Patriot german suplexed a tailback on the opposing team and the announcer said he’d make a good “wrestler”. That should have been frontpage WithLeather news!
There was a whole lot of handsome in that Barrett/Orton tilt.
Just sayin’.
*hi five*
I don’t know, I don’t really find Barrett all that handsome. And the barely contained violence makes Randy more sexy than handsome in my eyes.
If we’re nominating a most handsome man in WWE right now, I’d go with a clean-shaven Cody Rhodes first, and Alberto Del Rio in a close second.
I’m interested in other opinions as well, though. Anything to take the discussion away from how sad the last two segments of Raw made everybody.
I said “whole lot of handsome,” not all of the handsome in WWE. Barrett’s a good-lookin’ dude, along the lines of a larger Hugh Jackman. You’re spot on, though, with Cody taking the top spot, with one of Berto or the Zig-Zag man right behind him.
The beard is definitely a good look for Wade, but on the whole I find him too lupine to be handsome. Even without the beard, dude just kind of looks like a wolf. I’m sure that works for some people, though.
What about less obvious guys? Kofi Kingston looks pretty good in a suit with his dreads tied up. I’ve even thought Big Show has had his handsome moments.
There certainly was a “whole lot of handsome” going on there… but I was a Barrett fan from Season 1 NXT. I thought “wow, he’s good look… wait, HE’S ENGLISH TOO!” (I’m a sucker for an accent and automatically upgraded him, lol). I didn’t think I’d like the beard, but that lasted all of two seconds. I guess the wolf thing works for me, haha, too bad I never got into Twilight…
I would rank Del Rio just above Cody Rhodes, simply because of the swagger factor. Cody is handsome by genetic mistake, Del Rio has a cultivated look. I also think Brad Maddox is so freakin adorable and Ambrose is very handsome as well (again, a guy with oodles swagger).
I know somebody has probably said it already, but Cena/Ziggler feud is going into HHH/Jericho Wrestlemania feud territory (I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it.)
Call me crazy but I bet Ziggler will finally “cash in” and pin the Rock at the Rumble. Rock will enter the Rumble eliminate Rybak and each member of the Shield to win the Rumble.
If that happens I will cry.
You take that back, you take that back right now!
Gahhh, please, everyone, stop defending Vickie Guerrero and plus Rhodsing comments like the one in best of. She cut weight, what, like four or five years after that asshole died? Also, those ribs aren’t meant for grown ass men like the commentators here. It’s for kids and there immature minds. She’s paid to be a gnarly, snaggletooth bitch, and she probably gives two wanks about people writing essays about how she’s treated in the company and slut shaming and all that jazz. Give it a rest. Yes, she’s fat. Probably medically obese. Certainly not the fattest, but that’s her gimmick. Get over it and watch the wrestling portion!
You lose at watching wrestling.
Please consider not having this opinion ever again
Looks like someone really wants to get into the boy’s hole.
Wait, you mean saying “artch-type” is wrong? Is my intelligence actually a fa-kade?
Great B/W and here’s another Best: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON
+1
I really wish wrestlers still observed fa-kade. Stop being seen together in public, you jerkfaces and jerkheels!
Great stuff. The Rock as a character is unfortunate because Dwayne Johnson the person is a very nice guy. I think he’s just so caught up in the pathos of what has worked for the WWE audience that he becomes part of the problem. This is not a defense, it’s a lamentation.
Birthday=Best!!11
Great as always, happy birthday and points for the Venture Bros reference!
Great read.
Swear to jeebus when Ziggler said “Show” and paused it was a call for the Big Show….
This is only my second time reading this blog and I am now convinced of one thing; the writer is apparently a racist. Why does he absolutely loathe anything that a person of color (black, in particular) does? Unless something embarrassing or bad happens to them (i.e. Kofi getting knocked out quickly by Big Show or Teddy Long getting slapped), their segments are the worst ever in his opinion. JUST STOP IT! I understand the Rock may not be your favorite, or you’re tired of his character, but how about some positives once in a while. It’s pretty sickening. Kofi has talent and is misused, whether you want to admit it or not. Teddy, no matter how much of a sellout he may appear to be, has paid his dues in the industry and deserves respect; as does Booker. I could go on, but for the sake of coming off similar to your weekly posts, I’ll stop. Hating is a curable disease.
Dude, did you just call Teddy Long an Uncle Tom? That seems a little…you know…. *grabs kettle* Oops, that’s not helping, is it.
No, actually..that’s what YOU just said. The verbiage I used was “appears to be”…*as JP gently puts his kettle back down*. And no…not helping at all. Just reaffirming. Know the true definition of an Uncle Tom before making your assertions and assumptions; not what liberal media portrays an Uncle Tom to be.
Orton continuing to put more talent over.
Great write-up for a mediocre anniversary episode at best. I felt like I was watch the season 2 finale of ST:TNG where Riker has a clip show while “dying.” And not because I totally watched that episode the day before RAW or anything.
I want to thank you (and Fembot!) for continuing to try to have a discussion about why homophobia, misogyny and fat-shaming (among other things) is not something we should just “put up with” because “it’s always been that way” and the only solution is to “stop watching” or “get over it because it’s never going to change.” That’s always preferable to having an articulate conversation about issues in society being mirrored in scripted shows on tv. It’s a good thing us women folk (among others) just put up with being considered second class citizens and didn’t voice our opinions over that pesky right to vote. I mean, that would have just been ridiculous.
Oh and I stand by my comment: Rock is on a horrible diet and everything that pops into his head is somehow food related.
Matt: What the hell is a cookiepuss?
Me: I don’t know but it sounds delicious…
“Rock had a Jeff Jarrett style guitar shot coming to him.”
I tweeted during RAW on Monday that I thought the Rock’s guitar was going to be RAW’s Chekhov’s gun, but man was I disappointed.
I quite enjoyed this Raw. I wanted the Rock and Punk to shut up and fight and that’s pretty much what happened. Now I wish the Rumble was this Sunday. Great column.
Brandon, I don’t know if you watch WWE Main Event, but Antonio Cesaro has managed to come to the ring waving an American flag while wearing American flag trunks AND GET BOOED FOR IT. He is simply the best heel ever.
What if…. Cena pouncing on Ziggler is a set up for the Rumble?
“Oh Cena’s got this! He’s kicked Ziggler’s ass for weeks! Even when he cheated!”
Then BAM! Ziggler eliminates Cena to win the Rumble.
Royal Rumble contract, plus Money in the Bank.
Goes to Wrestlemania, and wins BOTH belts!
Unites them! Does away with the spinner belt! Ultimate champion!
Then I wake up and go back to my real person job.