On Monday, we shared with you the best (Cactus Jack) and very, very worst (Hail) of World Championship Wrestling's 8x10 promo photos from the 1990s. If you thought Dave Sullivan petting a rabbit was as deep as the well ran, you're in for a treat.
Behold, part two of our epic WCW promo photos quest, once again visiting the pro wrestling company that threatened to put WWE out of business before collapsing in on itself and folding in the shadow of stars like Kwee Wee and Disqo. The next 50 WCW photos tell the story of the company ... full of amazing pro wrestling talent, but also (unfortunately) full of everything else. Take a long, hard look at that picture of Ric Flair. If you can't see the terror in his eyes, you'll start to pick it up around slide 30.
If you showed part one to everybody you know, follow-up with this one.
I am like 60% sure this isn't the real Jesse "The Body" Ventura. I am 100% sure that this is the cover photo for the Jesse "The Body" Ventura Halloween costume. "Just stand really far back, nobody'll be able to tell."
These guys are impossible to Google. All their team name brings up is a bunch of juggling Montréalais.
HE'S SINGLE, LADIES
Seriously, Dave Penzer, the Stevie Janowski of professional wrestling, had an 8x10. Who wanted Dave Penzer's autograph?
It never stops being hilarious and inspiring that a guy this shoot gross looking could have it together more than anybody else in this gallery and be a yoga instructor in 2013.
In case you didn't know, WCW tried to be Mortal Kombat for like eight months. Watch this clip quickly, before Rita Repulsa attacks it with Putties:
This was Glacier's arch-nemesis, Scorpion Shao Khan? Mortis. Looking back, his costume really could've used a few more skulls.
This is how sad the wrestling world can be: you give a guy the gimmick of LAUGHING A LOT, call him "Hugh Morrus" because it sounds like "humorous," and this is the best thing he does in his entire career. Don't believe me? Refer to the next photo, wherein Hugh Morrus becomes an army-themed dick joke.
General Hugh G. Rection. Yes, somebody at WCW saw Bart Simpson place a prank call to Moe's Tavern and thought I SHOULD CALL SOMEBODY THIS IN REAL LIFE AND MAKE IT THEIR JOB TO SOUND LIKE DICKS.
I can't figure out what's off about this Konnan photo. Wh- why is he looking at me like that? Why does he remind me so much of Peter Falk as Columbo? Or like, Colombo in a gangster disguise? Maybe he bought it at the same Halloween Express that sells those Jesse Ventura costumes.
This is awesome as f**k. That is all.
Fun fact: Jim Powers is still alive. I know, I'm as shocked as you.
Step back from what you know about wrestling for a second. How amazing is it that there is a tag team called NASTY BOYS? How did we allow this to exist?
Also, Chikara photographer Zia Hiltey drew a picture of the Nasty Boys for me on a New Year's card, and it's one of the best gifts I've ever received:
"Let's see how this glittery jacket matches my man-diaper ... ah, yes, perfect."
Okay, you know how you're watching wrestling with your friends and you see a guy named Prince Iaukea, so you turn to them and say "hey, they should give him a Prince gimmick and call him The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea," and everybody laughs because it's funny, but not because anyone would ever do that for real? WCW did that for real. They are not currently in business. YOU DID NOT HAVE TO DO EVERY STUPID THING, GUYS.
Yo! Bum Rush the Homemade T-Shirt Store
I love this picture. Piper's all, "heh, yeah, this is pretty shitty, huh guys?"
Important reminder: this guy became Raven.
QUICK, PUT HIS NAME ON EVERYTHING
There's an entire collection of 8x10s of Nitro Girls I don't remember. I like this one. I think her name was Arrmpit.
The unstoppable tag team of The Patriot and Cory Matthews' brother Eric.
Remember American Males? Yeah, that was a highlight of Buff Bagwell's pre-Buff career.
When I was 11, two guys from Michigan (including one with a mullet) who wore floral onesies and always got together in a doggystyle pose were the coolest people I'd ever seen. And you know what? They still are.
The man who would become Stone Cold, saying it all with a facial expression.
Who farted?
(this is the best 8x10 ever)
Get ready to face your deadliest foe ever, Hulk Hogan ... the JOB CREATOR. He has a series of tasks, and quickly organizes them! HULKAMANIA IS DEAD
"So how many people should be on each team?"
This is supposed to be The Assassin 1, but I keep reading it as "The Assassin I." I am also writing a stage production called The Assassin, I.
If you don't remember, KISS once sponsored a pro wrestler. They wanted him to be the champion, but hew as just a terrible wrestler in KISS make-up. Here he is rising from a tomb on Nitro, maybe decade or two too late.
Yo, a team with Jerry Flynn on it is not the "first" anything.
If you only know The Big Show from WWE, you may be surprised to learn that he was once a younger, thinner, more muscular man who once posed for a photo with somebody's finger up his butt.
I would've called them "The Guys Who Tried To Kill The Goonies, Big Vito and Johnny The Bull."
Look at the adjective. "Outsiders."
Ann Veal was a wrestler?
The Wall eventually joined up with Hugh G. Rection's gaggle of fake army dick guys and became "AWOL," because WCW pretty much just ran with whatever popped into their heads.
If you've ever wondered why so many guys are weirdly in love with Molly Holly, this is where it started. Holy shit was Mona the hottest.
The greatest 8x10 in the history of our sport.
WCW went through a phrase where they wouldn't stop naming guys after Vince McMahon to try to "get to him," or whatever. Mike "IRS" Rotunda became V.K. WALLSTREET, a man who is accompanied in my mind by a blinking LED sign reading NOT THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN.
Wrestling Superstar Virgil also got the "lol, Vince" treatment, but to his credit, he was only named Virgil because that was Dusty Rhodes' name. Virgil had a real Kunte Kinte thing going on, didn't he?
NOPE.
get it
(note: this is the one who married Shawn Michaels. You may remember her from that time Chris Jericho punched her in the face.)
The dream of the e-fed is alive in WCW.
WCW once had a boy band. I considered not including this photo, because I didn't want it to trigger any porn filters.
Craig Pittman
"Not The Guy Who Played Roc"
Every time I look at this I think she signed it, "All my butt!"
The way he's standing makes it look like the guitar has legs. Can't unsee.
The Macho Man Randy Savage, during that sad time in his life when he spray-painted his beard, got his stripper girlfriends jobs as wrestling valets and thought recording a rap album was a great idea.
"I look like this on purpose!"
I put this picture immediately after Madusa so you could flip back and forth between them.
Norman Smiley is a fun character to try to explain to non-wrestling fans. "He was basically the butler from 'The Fresh Prince,' and he wrestled in this tiny-ass yellow speedos, and he was popular because of a taunt where he pretended to buttf**k people."
"Sorry Shawn, we can't move the camera back. Just lean down a little. There you go, perfect."
MENG IN A GI.
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
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scotty flamingo’s got a serious pee spot there
Why doesn’t he have one leg up?
The contest is over, give Burnsy the $10,000.
I’m pretty sure PBS still airs Lord Steven Regal & Sir William during pledge drives every now and again.
I hope that once Iaukea changed his name he signed those glossies with some weird Polynesian symbol.
+1
IMPORTANT NOTE: James Vandenberg is also the name of a really terrible college football quarterback. Like one of the worst this year.
How did you not follow Hugh G. Rection with Major Gunns? I don’t know if it was Jedi like discipline or PTSD and you just blocked that whole thing out.
I like to imagine that the guys that are photographed in the ring are purposefully not told where the photo studio is.
3 Count was awesome.
Remember when Tank Abbott joined them?
I do indeed. When 3 Count was a real thing I hated them with a passion. In retrospect, the highlight of the WCW Death Rattle. Loved the feud with the Jung Dragons as well.
I also miss Mark Madden calling Shane Helms’ superkick the “Sugar Smack”.
Man, Regal has NEVER been not awesome.
You have to hand it to Dave Penzer for finding a use for all of Piper’s leftover kilts.
Gold
IMPORTANT QUESTION: Why is Raven’s dick leaking?
You could seriously slip in a Garbage Pail Kid every fourth slide and no one would even blink.
Ha, nice.
AAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA! THAT GUITAR HAS LEGS!!!!!
“THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD, KISSSSSSSssssssss!!!”
LOOOOOOOOOOL Schaivone.
Miss Hancock.
Yes please
Wasn’t “The Wall” Berlyn’s bodyguard? Am I remembering correctly? And if I’m wrong, why the fuck wasnt The Wall Berlyn’s fucking bodyguard?
He was Beryln’s bodyguard. That was about as clever as late era WCW got.
Shawn Stasiak went on to have a career as the ShamWow guy.
Nitro Girl Spice was just the effin’ hottest. Just the hottest thing ever.
I flashed back to middle school when I saw that picture of her and felt very ashamed of myself for a moment.
Yep. I think I remember them trying to do something storyline related with her though, and her acting made the base level pronstar look like Meryl effing Streep.
Holy shit the look on Stone Cold’s face is hilarious. He also appears to be doing THE EXACT SAME POSE as Roddy Piper.
These are awesome, Brandon. WCW 4 Life!
Mortis would fit right in at an Oakland Raiders game.
Not anymore.
Too soon?
Who better than Kanyon?
I love that Teddy Long looks like he just ate the hell out of some chocolate pudding.
Can I get a 5 minute loop of Shiavone saying “kiss”?
Rocco Rock looks like a beefed up modern day Al Jourgenson. This is scary on many levels.
That tripped me out too.
I really do love how every terrible costume came from Halloween City.
I HAVE A SIGNED VERSION OF THAT NORMAN SMILEY PIC!!
God, that guy was the best.
The WWE could use a Norman Smiley right about now.
Norman Smiley is like what santino should be
He’s a trainer for them.
Raven definitely spelled flamingo wrong..guess his lack of spelling skills really bummed him out, huh?
Stunning Steve Austin, does not get a “hell yeah!”
What?
My personal favorite is the mispelling of “Ouellet” on the Amazing French Canadians flag.
Make that 2 “s” in “misspell”. Very meta. Or lazy and stupid.
Two Fun Facts (that no one probably cares about):
1.) There were actually TWO KISS Demons. The character was initially portrayed by Brian “Kona Crush” Adams. He walked out on the nWo, and got in to a limo that supposedly had the band in it. He’s the one rising out of the crypt in the video, and played the character one more time when he had a stare down with Vampiro. He then abandoned the character to smoke weed with Adam Bomb, and The Demon was played by Dale Torborg for the remainder of the character’s run (and I BELIEVE is the one in the 8×10). He was fucking terrible, and is now the conditioning coordinator for the White Sox.
2.) Macho Man’s stripper girlfriend is now married to former Misfits guitarist (and also WCW wrestler) Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein. They are in a band named Gorgeous Frankenstein (LOL). If you ever consider checking them out, I urge you to not, because they are fucking terrible. Like, they make Lita’s Luchagors seem almost tolerable. Really, really bad.
THE MORE YOU KNOW! ::shooting star::
I care. These are relevant to my interests in bands that wear facepaint.
As a HUGE White Sox fan, I too, thoroughly enjoyed point number 1. I did not know that about Torborg.
ADDITIONAL FUN FACT: Dale Torborg was originally pushed as a NASCAR racer turned pro wrestler, showing promos for him for months before he debuted. He lived up to that push by blowing out his ACL in his first match while performing his finisher, which was a bicycle kick. He was out for well over a year.
Mamalukes is the worst name ever. It is slang for idiot in Italian, so in this case it might be the best name ever.
Considering that Big Vito shattered his pelvis missing a seated senton to the floor, you’d be exactly right
Seriously considering changing my Facebook profile pic to that Stevie Ray 8×10. #SlapJack
That description of Norman Smiley should be included in his eulogy. However, I’m pretty sure Norman Smiley is immortal.
I love James Vandenberg gesturing as if to say “What do you think of this be-skulled gentleman? Might I interest you in purchasing one for your own home?”
Is it housebroken?
If that means “breaks things inside your house”, then yes!
I can’t imagine how they went under. But this reminds me that I have a blond hair sting figure in my basement somewhere
And where is the Pepe promo photo!?
It got put through the paper shredder.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Can you imagine how an invasion would have gone in the early mid nineties with people like sir William and stunning Steve Austin?
This is so good. Thanks man. First Family pic might be my favorite of the bunch.
I enjoyed that it features A nasty boy.
Also, nice Becky the Ice Box profile pic.
Does anybody remember how Jimmy Hart had a bodyguard, Max something (Muscle, maybe?), and they did a promo where Max said, “I’ll never leave your side, Jimmy!” and then disappeared for months, made one more appearance on Thunder, and then was never seen again?
Yeah, was there a reason there was only one Nasty Boy in the First Family photo? If there was a split, I’m assuming it ended when they realized that no one else was Nasty enough to hang out with.
Oh, Molly Holly. What happened.
Nothing, Molly Holly is still gorgeous and great.
Hell yeah, Molly Holly got me through girlfriend-less college years. Simply delicious.
@Brandon – Agree completely. Molly is still my favorite diva of all time. She’s straight up awesome.
Glacier may have sucked in real life (he did), but he was my favorite character in WCW vs. NWO World Tour for N64.
He was AWESOME in that. I remember my friend with the N64 didn’t have a memory card so whenever we got together to play we would have to beat the game first to unlock Macho Man and Glacier.
I loved Glacier too because he had the Cryonic Kick and was therefore one of a handful of guys (DDP’s the only other one I can recall) who didn’t have a powerbomb for their finisher. Seriously, Rey Mysterio had a sit-out powerbomb pin.
The dreadlocks of middle guy in 3 Count are attached to his hat right?
CRUISERWEIGHT SUPERSTAR EVAN KARAGIAS
50 old wrestlers and only 2 of them are dead, that’s surprisingly low right?
I’m not alone in thinking that Bill DeMott is awesome, am I? I liked him and his Not a Laughing Matter moonsault back in the day, and then years later in Tough Enough, we was the main reason I watched (Austin was pretty great too). If there is a story out there about Bill DeMott beating his wife or stabbing someone in a bar fight, please don’t tell me as I’d like to continue liking General Rection, thank you very much.
I agree, Hugh Morris was great in the ring and was fantastic on Tough Enough. I will stop right there since you asked me to.
Spice was my favorite Nitro Girl. At the other end of the spectrum, Gorgeous George was hot in an incredibly dirty, unwholesome way.
Also, those pics of Steve Austin and Scotty Flamingo are awesome.
The video of Gorgeous George that got her fired was the first porn video I ever downloaded.
Speaking of Scotty Flamingo, according to his wikipedia, he is married to Selina Kyle.
Yes. Raven married Catwoman.
-SHough610 – I think you are confusing Georgous George with Chastity.
@DocZeus: No, he’s right. A video circulated of her masturbating, which led to WCW letting her go. Standards and Practices and whatnot.
You are correct on both counts.
Is it racist to say that Konnan looks like Ian Gomez in his picture? Because Ian Gomez is Greek.
Man, that Picture looks nothing like I remember K-dogg looking like. I guess I just never saw him with the stubble.
Slapnuts remains one of my favorite insults.
Slapnuts is still one of my favorite insults. And Assclown.
The Outsiders caption trumps all on this list. 16 years later and I STILL cringe lamf when I hear Kevin Nash say that line.
Tony Schiavone calls that pose “The Side Walk Slam”.
Mona, more like MANa – am I right? Guys?
Also, no love for Renegade?
No. No you are not.
I’m just a bit later to the WCW game – I must have missed Mona. I will forever be in the Ms. Hancock corner.
+1,000,000 on the Nash “look at the adjective” dig. “You say WCW is where the big boys play. Look at the adjective. ‘Play.’ We ain’t here to play.” – Kevin Nash, 1996
I was just watching the NWO disc and could not stop replaying that part.
They say explaining a joke ruins it, but I lol’d after I read this. Thank you.
Wow. Shawn Stasiak was looking a great deal like Rainn Wilson.
FUN FACT: Prince Iaukea is now known as The Sandwich Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea.
Fun Fact: Norman Smiley is Warren Moon.
Also:
“All My Best” vs “All My Butt”
Same. *drops mic*
I really hope this isn’t part 2 of 2. I could read a slide show of all of WCW’s terrible gimmicks (and business hot Stacy Keibler) every week forever.
Holy Shit! I can’t even fathom how much fan-fic must have been written about Stars and Stripes.
Fun fact: I HATE Konnan. He was my punching bag for whenever I played WCW vs NWO Revenge. Another little nugget, I was unbeatable as The Giant in the game.
I got a Blue Lantern tattoo in my right shoulder early last year, and it wasn’t until that 3 Count pic that I realized that I was subconsciously trying to become a more peaceful, hopeful version of Shane Helms.
I still think a Prince gimmick is a fantastic idea, and no one can tell me otherwise. Vince is sure to discover who Prince is one of these days.
Also, “Honky Tonk Man’s guitar has legs” is the “Colonel Sanders tie is a tiny body” of the wrestling world.
[24.media.tumblr.com]
Since I fail at embedding…
This B&W has some wonderful reasons as to why WCW folded. Which one was worse?
1) The amount of money they put into Glacier. He was supposed to be the dude to take down the NWO.
2) The amount of money they paid KISS to use KISS style makeup—which by the way, anyone remember the newz reporting about KISS and WCW negotiations on a daily basis?– and then the Demon flopping.
3) Vampiro: New Blood leader.
There were some craptacular “next big thing” gimmicks in WCW.
The idea that anyone, anywhere and anytime could have thought Glacier should be the one to end the NWO is mind bottling. What a waste of cool lighting effects.
The best thing about Vampiro is that he came in from lucha, and was called Vampiro Canadiense (Canadian Vampire) for the first few months, which is not a very scary name.
I cannot believe I missed this Glacier shit. Man, I loved Mortal Kombat back in those days; bet I woulda gotten a major nerdboner from that whole angle.
@ Devil: I know! All those vignettes they had for him to hype him as this big thing, only for his actual entrance and wrestling ability to be so. . . shitty. Also, Mortal Kombat wasn’t as big a thing anymore, which kind of hurt the whole idea, too.
Jacktion: It could of worked if Vampiro went to the Hart dungeon and knew how to wrestle, in addition to Lucha. But he didn’t, so, yeah, I agree.
JJ: Before they actually showed up on TV, a lot of people were totally hyped up for the MK angle. But when they showed up, well, it was like two guys at a Halloween party deciding it was a good idea to wrestle each other in the back yard. Except, I’m pretty sure the backyard wrestling entrances wouldn’t be as terrible as WCW’s
mona became molly holly? are you fucking with me?
man, you could do at least one more of these. Loadsa moer stuff. Harlem heat, sid, terra ryzing, sexton hardcastle, kidman, hardcore hak. fucking loads. i couldnt be arsed googling. I depend on you crab people to supply out world with cheesy shit.
I have a two part question.
1) Did The Assassin I legit have a title, or was that just part of his outfit?
2) How many more of these are you planning on doing? I hope it’s a lot.
As a 19 year-old, I once won a radio contest to have lunch with Randy Savage at Planet Hollywood at the Mall of America. If that isn’t the most 1999-sentence ever, then I don’t know what. The photo provided was the same 8×10 that he (and George) signed for me. I thought that I was going to sit down with Savage and talk shop over a plate of wings, but I, and the other 28 winners, were sorely mistaken. I did, however, get to take the one and only mark photo that I’ve ever taken, and it hangs prominently in my living room. Randy Savage was the greatest of all-time.
Also:
“NOPE” and “Who Farted” were the winners of Part 2. Excellent work, as usual. If I ever learn how to post photos on here, I’ll share the Savage pic.
Yeah that first sentence of yours was incredible.
Not only did The Artist exist but they pushed the hell out of him. The bad parts of WCW were worse than anything on the planet.
Jeff Jarrett in the period in which I hated him the most: “NOPE.” That alone makes this better than the first one.
Shitty WCW Things I liked: The Mamalukes, The Wall (both were in a lot of hardcore matches, I grew up LOVING hardcore matches), Norman Smiley (because why not?), Miss Hancock (ditto), and the Misfits in Action (M.I.A.) which featured Gen. Hugh G. Rection, Lt. Loco (Chavo Guerrero), Sgt. AWOL, Cpl. Cajun and THE BEST part Major Gunns who was missing from both countdowns. Needs more Major Gunns.
re: Glacier, remember that time Kaz Hiyashi bought the glacier costume because glacier threw it away.
I refuse to acknowledge or pronounce the “B” in “Public Enemy”. Pay windah.
Looking at young Steve Austin is like looking at young antonio Cesaro (with Hair) It’s like they weren’t done cooking. Thay have/had all of this superfluous stuff that makes them seem like unfinished clay that needs more chisiling before it becomes David.
I support any and all shitting on Jeff Jarrett.
True Story: Molly Holly, Ivory, and Lance Cade once signed my converse.
Man, that Whisper video… here I am laughing my ass off at a guy punching a lady in the face. Thanks for showing me that I’m a horrible person, Brandon. But seriously, HBK, how ’bout some situational awareness? Don’t fucking duck when a guy’s trying to punch you and your lady’s right behind you. Block!
And Madusa was ridiculous, but she had some pretty glorious (fake) knockers, I thought at the time.
Also, that picture of Steve Austin looks like… like he just killed my dog, and the corpse is on the floor right next to him there, and he’s doing the “Did I do that?” Urkel routine.
Needs more American Males.
That song has been stuck in my head since part 1.
And I agree.
as your description states gotta hand it to DDP, heck even in his wrestling heyday he still managed to get Kimberley so as far as I’m concerned DDP is the man period.
All of this, just fantastic
I can’t help but imagine Schiavone, with that haircut, sitting next to Bischoff in production meetings and laughing at all his jokes.
These are superb. I sincerely hope for ‘The Maestro’ to appear in a Part 3.
And the State Troopers
And the Ding Dongs
And The Mulkeys
“Not The Guy Who Played Roc.” Fucking, Bravo!
Craig Pittman was my favorite curtain jerker.
Also, Regal was on Colt’s podcast for a two parter and talked at length about both Sir William and the blue bloods team with Bobby Eaton. It’s a hell of a listen.
As someone who lives in Indianapolis, I have to ask why Norma Smiley is wearing an Indianapolis Ice jersey? But then I realized that that design is a fairly new one for the Ice, but that picture looks really old, so I now have to wonder, “IS EVERYTHING I KNEW A LIE?!”
That would have been the jersey from RIGHT BEFORE Gary Pedigo bought the team and fucked everything up. So, essentially, the last days of WCW.
The funny thing is, VK Wallstreet was previously IRS, who was previously Michael Wallstreet. So who was ripping who off at that point?
I was in love with Madusa, eff you guys.
And I DIED at the Tony Schiavone caption. what happened to him anyway?
He’s the voice of the Gwinnett Braves. And every time they play the Indianapolis Indians, or Columbus Clippers, I want to go and sit just below the press box, just so I can start beating the hell out of a buddy in the 8th and hear him call
ONE
MORE
FIGHT.
I had a thing for Nitro Girl Fyre, if that makes you feel any better.
Fyre was legit hot, I refuse to hear anything to the contrary.
Over 100 pictures in and still not a one of “Hardwork” Bobby Walker?
The Giant looks just like Paul Stanley.
Mortis is Rattleshirt or at least Mance Rayder disguised as Rattleshirt.
Planet Stasiak!
Another vote for Ms. Handcock. Although she’ll probably need both hands.