Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – a lady walks into a bar and she hates Lance Armstrong because she’s married to his former teammate and they both think he’s a lying dick. Wait, I don’t think I told that punchline correctly. Either way, Armstrong’s whistleblower, Betsy Andreu, is back in the news because she wants more attention believes that the shamed Tour de France champion is going to use tonight’s interview with Oprah Winfrey to sway public opinion back in his favor. Because when Oprah’s minge speaks, we listen.

However, Andreu – wife of Armstrong’s former teammate and close friend, Frankie Andreu – is really feeling the need to point out the obvious.

“I do not think he will ever fully admit or take responsibility for his drug taking,” the wife of Armstrong’s former teammate and one-time friend, Frankie Andreu, told Celebuzz in an exclusive interview.

“Going on Oprah is just a way to win public sympathy for him… I think it will be more crocodile tears from Lance – he chose Oprah because she is not known for hard hitting interviews.

“My husband and I just want him to go away.” (Via Celebuzz)

Apparently they want him to go away to prison, because Betsy also added that she believes that Armstrong is deserving of a full criminal investigation. And she might be on to something here, because if Armstrong admits to Oprah and her army of Bon Bon couch warriors that he used performance-enhancing drugs as he is expected to do, he could be facing all sorts of heck. Heck, I say!

Having been paid by the government, the former national icon could face criminal charges for making fraudulent statements to his bosses.

He could also be accused of perjury over disclosures made under oath to a US federal jury in 2005. If convicted, each false statement could lead to five years in jail.

“If I were his lawyer, I’d be telling him not to do it. I think he’s crazy,” said Peter Keane, law professor at Golden Gate University in San Francisco, of the cyclist’s decision to give the interview.

“He’s in considerable jeopardy of some sort of criminal prosecution… for which he could go to prison.”

UPDATE: And here’s a delightful mashup of Armstrong’s constant denials under oath.

Again, my stance remains a hearty, “Meh.” I already have zero interest in this interview, but the Andreus bitching and moaning just seem like another chapter in cycling’s great book, “F*ck That Dude, He Cheated Better Than Me”. In fact, I will only watch if we’re guaranteed a moment like this: