The good thing about Kate Upton getting famous enough to do real, non-Sports Illustrated modeling is that we'll get to see her throughout the year, and not just when SI gets around to saying, "okay, this month we're putting sand on ladies' boobs and calling it a swimsuit." The bad thing about Kate getting "real" modeling jobs is that she has to look like a lifeless plastic doll 90% of the time, and be accompanied by little guys with 'Boardwalk Empire' haircuts who may or may not be DJ Qualls.
Take, for example, Kate's latest shoot for V Magazine, which comes accompanied by the worst shoot description in the history of modeling:
SHE ONLY DOES IT IN THE AFTERNOONS. EMBODYING BUÑUEL'S BORED, BOURGEOIS BEAUTY, THE AMPLE UPTON UNDRESSES IN STYLE. WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY, THE MOUSE WILL PLAY
Jesus Christ. After this issue of V, the shoot's going straight to Sundance!
So yeah, the good news here is that Kate Upton looks great in old-timey underwear. The bad news is that, as far as I can tell, she had to take the photos while Gollum was trying to attack her and steal the Precious.
Shoot is after the jump.
[via V Magazine]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1245/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Hannah-Davis-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Irina-4-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Lochte-doesnt-know-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Paige-Duke-8-180x180.jpg)
Kate Upton in garters and stockings is a match made in boner heaven.
Seriously, that kid looks like he’s 12 years old. Actually I think most 12 year olds could kick his ass.
Look, I’m no prize, but if they want someone to make Kate look harassed in each photo, I’ll work for free.
Forget working for free, I would have paid V magazine to do it.
So is the theme a drug addict trying to harass a beautiful woman for some money?
or is the theme the devil trying to tempt an angel to do something wrong?
Either way, the male in that photoshoot clearly needs to lose weight as he’s a total pig.
I hate to say this, but pic #7 is only going to give more fuel to the “Kate Upton is fat” crowd. It’s honestly an unflattering shot.
I think she looks fantastic.
She’s not a triathlete. She’s a HOF boner motivator.
In a related story, pic #7 is also going to fuel a furious masturbation session.
If Our Kate’s is gonna do a girl-on-girl photo shoot, can’t they do any better than a topless Miley Cyrus?
That waif of a guy?! OH COME ON!
Okay I can’t be the only one who thought the dude was Macaulay Culkin after seeing slide 2.
I like #6, it looks like the maid is gonna cram that lamp in his ass. I BET SHE DID!
Glad to see that dude from The Social Network is still getting work.
Smoking in bed is very irresponsible.
WOULD NOT BANG(?)
So, she’s a mouse? Who’s the cat, then? Her daddy? (Bullseye!)
2 things:
Look, we’re all here for the Kate Upton…but the dude in this looks 12 years old. Totally unbelievable.
I’m pretty sure this shoot was made just for Matthew Weiner to see it and put her in an episode of Mad Men.