It has been a few months since I was finally able to extinguish the last of my raging hatred of Dwight Howard for what he did to my beloved Orlando Magic, but I’m actually glad that I can look at him in a new, unbiased light. It wouldn’t be a typical NBA season if Howard’s people weren’t leaking his complaints to certain people in the “media” and, sure enough, ESPN reported this week that a Howard trade may be imminent.
While this has been corroborated by other people who claim to know – translated: they have Howard’s cousin’s email address – it was pretty much a done deal once everyone realized two things: 1) The Lakers just aren’t good with this old, injured lineup and 2) Howard still clearly wants to play in Brooklyn. However, much like he did with the Magic, Howard is doing his little song and dance routine with the Lakers by saying that he doesn’t want to be traded and will “bring it”.
Perhaps that has something to do with Nets star Deron Williams responding to the Howard rumors by saying that Brook Lopez won’t be going anywhere. Maybe it’s because he and Kobe Bryant got into it again in the locker room in a heated confrontation that they’ll probably deny again. Or maybe someone simply sat down with Howard, drew a bunch of zeroes on a piece of paper and told him what he’ll lose if he leaves L.A.
Like with his childish drama in Orlando, we probably won’t ever get a true story out of Howard for this case of déjà vu, but as an NBA expert and world famous analyst, I believe that the Lakers should trade Howard now. There are plenty of teams that can offer value, and I have broken down the Top 10 of those with proposed trades that are in no way mocking his value right now. Right, winking giraffe?













I say — I’m afraid I can’t trust the feasibility of any of these proposed trades, especially since Hydrox was introduced FOUR YEARS prior to Oreo.
*removes monocle*
I’m the gullible moron that thought there would be actual trades in the gallery.
Aye.
Why has no one stopped to consider that Dwight Howard just isn’t that good?
Dwight knows that Jay-Z isn’t going to let him rap on any of his records, right?
Lakers fans do not deserve a bag full of weed. They support one of the easiest teams to cheer for in spots. They deserve to eat the shit that’s in the baby diaper. . . ten times once they have magically been Clippers fans their entire life.
I don’t know what’s going on in Howard’s personal life, but, whatever it is, he sure is pissing away his potential. Fuck him
+1 Burnsy