On tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread:
As 2012 comes to a close, the entire landscape of WWE is undergoing a huge change as WWE Champion CM Punk finds himself unable to defend his title at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, and The Shield is scheduled for its first official match. What will unfold on the last Raw before the final pay-per-view event of the year? Here are five things to watch for tonight at 8/7 CT on USA Network. Plus, don’t miss the return of Disney’s The Muppets as Social Media Ambassadors!
And here’s your actual five point preview. A guy tries to type with the limp, felt arms of the puppet on his hand!
1. Here is a list of people who The Shield could wrestle: Primo and Epico, Santino Marella and Zack Ryder, Tyson Kidd if anybody at WWE watches Superstars. That is all.
2. According to Twitter, 3MB is planning a “State Of The WWE Address” for tonight. It should just be them on their knees in the ring playing air guitar until security makes them leave.
3. For those of you who didn’t see, Jack Swagger retweeted the Jack Swagger Of Mars Tumblr, meaning he is aware of the wacky space opera going on in the Best And Worst Of Raw column. That’s pretty amazing. Less amazing: the Tumblr getting redesigned into a wall of tiny text blobs. Anyway, tweet @RealJackSwagger and let him know how much you want him to come back as an astronaut, would you?
4. If CM Punk is unable to defend the title at TLC, he should be stripped of it, and we should have a tournament consisting only of people who have never previously held a WWE or World Heavyweight title. Antonio Cesaro would win this SO HARD.
5. Jerry Lawler will notice something we’ve noticed for three months for the first time tonight. Previously, it was Damien Sandow using Latin names for his moves and Dolph Ziggler’s “Stealing The Show” shirt. My bet for tonight: either Hornswoggle having the ability to speak, or Cesaro having socks around this thighs.
As always, the 10 best comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report. To nominate a comment for top 10 status, please reply to it with a +1.
Enjoy the show, everybody.
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Was Jerry Lawler beaten up by Latin as a kid?
Latin, women over the age of 14, and all minorities.
The WWE has the right idea with heels being logical but insufferable about it but they haven’t gotten the memo to the faces to not be douchebags.
Nothing says babyface like pushing someone off a ladder balls-first in to the ring ropes.
Even better: it was a guy he had NO reason to attack. It was the most egregious face-acting-like-a-heel moment I’d seen in a long, long time. Can you imagine if someone had done that to Cena? The Owen voices would have been broken out.
Sheamus and Miz really should form a tag team. But as much as Brandon would want then to be called “SheaMiz” a better name would be “the unbearable fucking assholes”
Team Unbearable Fucking Assholes.
More like SHAME-iz amirite
I just caught up on what 3MB was up to last urging Raw.
Last night will now be now known as “Cody Rhodes Mustache and the Night I Fell In Love with Tout.”
*during
Sweet job, phone.
Hey, Cessaro.
Your awesome.
Hey, Miz.
John Cena called, he wants his shitty jokes back
Speaking of shitty jokes.
Rise Above Hate
Rise above shitty jokes.
Best: Cesaro is a freaking machine. I look forward to watching him wrestle whenever I watch Raw. Also Best: AJ in wrestling gear. Holy cow she’s got a ridiculous body.
Worst: Just about everything else. Dolph Ziggler and Sandow trying to be rational to the “faces” and getting shit on and being called homos is exactly what would happen in Idiocracy, which was on FX while Raw was on, coincidentally enough. F*ck the Miz, F*ck Lawler and F*ck Sheamus and Hornswoggle.
Is it in Lawler’s contract that Divas can’t try and wrestle as long as he’s on commentary? What the hell happened to Eve doing cool submissions and stuff when King was away? Why would they get her to stop doing that?
I loved how Cole and Lawler were completely incredulous to the idea that Ziggler actually likes wrestling and watching the top WWE wrestlers wrestle.
Is it just me or is the Miz’s slow transformation into Perez Hilton almost complete?
Here’s the Wildcat! His shirt says he can fly, just like wildcats do!
Haha, alternate gimmick for Kofi: Pumaman
He doesn’t fly, he COUGAR LEAPS.
Best part of tonight’s RAW: [i.imgur.com]
What the…???
I’d like to imagine that as soon as they went off air, everyone just stopped fighting, shook hands, and walked up the ramp together.
Cody should name his mustache “The New American Dream”.
LOOK AT ALL THAT POTENTIAL FOR BAD LUCK!
Raw would have ended better if Dolph dropped Hans Cena off the Nakatomi building after he rips Cena’s “U Can’t C Me” wristband. Vince: “Oh I hope thats not Ryback”
Damian Sandow obviously playing the role of douchebag extraordinaire Harry Ellis. “Your Welcome Hans”
Last one: Team Hell No as FBI agents Johnson & Johnson.
I title this episode of WWE Monday Night Tout Super Show TLC Soap Opera Preview, “Overcompensation.” I’m 20 minutes in.
OMG 3MB! You need to check out their touts ASAP!
3GB?!?!?!?!
Guys. I really need TLC to start out on Sunday with Cole still just screaming ‘LOOK OUT’ over and over during Announcer Guy. I know you can make this happen. I have all the faiths in you.
Out of curiosity, is the guy talking to Ted Danson right now supposed to be Canadian?
ok time for Football and Skyrim. PEACE!
Good night, everybody. Oh and Miz, with that “joke” about Pink & Stink, you better sleep with one eye open tonight.
[www.youtube.com]
I thought you were better than that Red.
Wow, Patriots completely dismantling the Texans. As a Niners fan, that’s terrifying stuff.
Monday Night Football blowouts are entertaining when its not my team being Curb Stomped.
The terrifying part is how the Pats have shut down the Houston running game. If they repeat this next week with Gore, then Kapernick is going to have a real test
I’d just like to this opportunity to say, you people are the sole reason why I expose myself to 3 hours of that shit on a bi-weekly basis. I fucking hate you and love you in equal measure.
Good for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco!
I’ll second that Glen. These last couple months of 3 hour RAWs have been killing me on the inside and I’m very glad for MNF to break it up.
that being said GO PATS
Seconded, Glen Coco. I couldn’t have said it any better.
Hah, I wrote an email to Brandon to that effect.
Pretty average raw. The highs were high and the lows were extremely low. TLC should be interesting, even if I’m terrified about every match outcome.
ok agreed. 3MB twitter/touts >>>>> RAW
Checking them out AND AGREEING MORE AND MORE!!!!!
Christ living in Boson is going to be insufferable tomorrow.
Or anywhere in New England I was so sure they were gonna get got tonight
On the other hand, working in Boston is going to be great. Because fuck Houston, that’s why.
A good clusterfuck finish has a lot of things happening that you actually care about. This was a good one.
For reference, a bad one, featuring Randy Savage’s last WCW appearance:
[www.youtube.com]
featuring celebrated author Tank Abbott!!
That ending would have been perfect if Willard Fillmore and Rutherford “P.S”. Hayes would have come out last to get their long-awaited revenge of Ryback.
I can just imagine a kid sitting next to Roman in the crowd constantly asking him if it’s time for him to run down there yet.
“Now the Great Khali is heading to the ring!”
What I assume is happening now that RAW is over.
That was not really a bad go-home finish for a pre-PPV Raw, at least not this PPV.
I’m having flashbacks to Cloverfield..my entire brain is sad.
Finally, Chair gets his revenge on Big Show thanks to his good friend, Table.
i feel like I’m watching the Blair Raw Project. The shield needs to go after this filming injustice
Helgenberger needs to do a Nina Hartley biopic.
That is all.
Die Hard is on HBO. PERFECT way to cheer up my night
They should’ve played a Tony Schiavone Nitro signoff.
Yeah, that’s a +1 haha
+1 .
Oh man that used to drive me crazy.
IT’S GOLDBERG GOLDBERG’S HERE
FANS WE’RE OUTTA TIME
Agreed!+1
+1 childhood
So… I am okay with all those guys being out there. Except Sheamus. Fuck you, Sheamus.
QUICK SHIELD! ATTACK HIM ONE BY ONE!
WHAT WAS I LOOKING OUT FOR, COLE? WHAT?!?!?
So who wants to hang out and watch Psyche or whatever
CSI bro.
That’s why I qualified with “or whatever”!
call me stupid, I actually liked that finish. I’m out, tout ya later.
It’s a good thing the camera movement was there or I might not have known it was such a melee.
I thought tables were all about having shit put on them..chair being sat on and ladders to reach stuff too high to reach, Cole…
Ryback: What if I throw a couch, NO WAIT, I can throw something harder than a couch. This goes in my big book of ideas!
Ryback’s Big Book of Ideas is the children’s book to own this year
Ryback is the Doc McStuffins of WWE.
That’s too many syllables for Ryback.
Seems like that should be the next story for someone to write up and put on Tumblr.
Someone photoshop Hallie bringing Ryback the Big Book of Ideas, STAT!
Rybook: Read Me More!
What the shit just happened
Dear WWE, Take my money, please.
Don’t forget to use your Power Ups, everyone in the ring!
The fuck was that. What a fucking waste. And no 3MB? Fuck you, WWE.
Did we just have an underrun?
Colelolol.
“LOOKOUT! LOOKOUT!”
…did Raw just finish EARLY?