Pre-show notes:
- Comments, shares, likes, Reddit submissions and up arrows (or whatever) and the like are appreciated. Pay-per-view Bests and Worsts usually don’t get as much play as the Raw column, and I’ve never understood it. These are the shows where stuff happens!
- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
- GIFs in the column are courtesy of Jerusalem at the Punchsport Pagoda.
- I apologize for the weird execution of the TLC live thread. Some combination of jet lag and the sad stuff that happened over the weekend got me mixed up, and I didn’t get it up and ready like I should’ve. It won’t happen again.
So yeah, please click through and enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE TLC 2012. Spoiler alert: Nobody gets a red light special.
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So you’re saying Naomi’s butt is too legit, therefore it cannot quit?
+Hammer
Big Show has 2 of the 3 with a comically sized ladder and chair. His table has to least 8 feet high when he sets it up.
I will also admit that King’s Manila joke so terrible and stupid that I laughed at it.
Agree with the Manila joke. JBL, King, and Cole have HORRIBLE chemistry together, which leads to bad/great moments like that.
I didn’t think it was possible but I could hear JBL and Cole shaking their heads.
[iandanielstewart.com] He needs to track down this table and have the production crew bring it everywhere.
Seriously, when Naomi and Cameron touch butts during Funkasaurus’ entrance, a legion of corgis bring Kate Upton on a chariot of gold through the streets of America.
Meanwhile, Keith David watches with a wide grin and a stack of cash.
Good ol’ Little John.
If it makes you feel better Brandon, the lack of a discussion thread combined with the President speaking over the football game gave me a chance to drag some outsiders into watching some of TLC.
The hardest part was explaining why “that guy from the Real World” was wearing a suit and why people like Kofi so much. But it was fun.
I didnt watch live last night due to , so in watching the re-cap I was able to skip the parts that I knew immediately were going to suck. So the nano-second I saw MizTV I skipped forward and then sort of thought that Vince realized the error of his way and sort of Bobby Ewing’d the Miz face-fail of 2012 when I saw him teaming with ADR and the Brawler. Two Points:
1: I’m not sure if I would have been happier at that or at an ADR face turn, and
2: Why is it that WWE Legends are ALL automatically face? If you played a heel the majority of your career wouldn’t it make a little bit of sense to keep that character in the one-offs that you do years later?
#logic
Man, I want to eat sushi with Alberto & Ricardo SO BAD!
sushi ?!
oh wait, now I get it … suuushi yeeeah riiight ! I see what you did there bro !
really? cause I don’t :(
I suggest Cena running gifs in place of The Rock. You can never go wrong.
Punk’s new shirt gets a best from me. Knees to faces>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Boots 2 Asses
so agreed on that !!!
I want the Brooklyn Brawler to start tag teaming with Frank “The Trash Man” Reynolds.
Why not Trash Man and Duke “The Dumpster” Droese?
Damn, that’s good too. But I feel like Trash Man would resent a guy with a similar gimmick to his own. Also, when the Brawler is wearing his old tattered get up, he probably reminds Trash Man of Charlie.
hmm, true. also, Trash Man eats trash, while Droese disposes of it, so there’s a conflict right there.
So are we gonna book that wrestling show for the troops in Philly or what?
Once Da Maniac gets out of jail and Derrick Bateman can grow out a mustache to Don Frye’s liking, absolutely!
Not sure if I wanna higher the Maniac. He kept calling me the N-word.
but he loves ya
They could call themselves Waste Management
He carries around a bucket of chestnuts!
So we’ve got the following:
The Trash Man
Brooklyn Brawler
Bird of War 1, 2, 3
The Talibum
Don Frye
Derrick “USA Guy” Bateman
Da Maniac (Possibly)
THIS FAKE TRIBUTE SHOW IS SHAPING UP QUITE NICELY
If the Goon isn’t there, I want no part of it.
It’s a shame we won’t be able to secure Hulk Hogan’s silky blond chinaman hair
Whoa, the true selling point of Hogan is the hotdog skin.
Personally, I loved the shit out of Ambrose’s face. Anything to make me smile
I loved that Ambrose spent the entire match just talking shit to everyone he was beating up. It was great. I think that cancels out the overacting.
I loved it as well… he sold that to the rafters and beyond! It had so much reach I think Jack Swagger felt it on Mars.
I hope Ambrose is working on commission, because man he oversold that one.
I was surprised Cole remembered to mention he called a match where Brawler pinned Triple H. Or surprised someone reminded him. Or surprised they are allowed to talk about Triple H losing matches.
Usually they only bring up the time he punched Brock Lesnar so hard he broke his own arm.
Also, Ricardo wearing ADR’s scarf at ringside is ADORBS!
If the WWE ever has a non-jokey gay couple I would be fine if it was ADR and Ricardo.
If they bust out in a chorus of “Guy Love” like J.D. and Turk I’d mark the f*ck out.
Enjoy this moment because later tonight John Cena is going to make “hoeski” look like a positive, feminist moment in WWE history.
(And I like John Cena. Most of the time that doesn’t include him talking.)
For real, I saw Cloverfield 3 times and STILL didn’t notice the meteor thing hitting the ocean until someone told me.
Oh, and the part where writing about wrestling was good as well.
Normally, it’s a tired bit, but if Show sat down in the ring in his monster chair and demanded -I don’t know, anything really- , it’d be perfectly fine with me.
I feel like it needs to be a little bit taller, so he can swing his legs back and forth while he’s menacing people.
Hey, Brooklyn Brawler appearing was a best because he’s a jobber and he won a match, I mean he beat HHH? Saying Brawler is a worst is like saying R-Truth is – wait, no it’s like saying Sheamus is – wait, why the fuck are the only people who- oh shit yeah, Undertaker, it’s like giving him an infinite worst.
Also Brooklyn Brawler’s finisher is a freakin’ Boston Crab.
Go Naomi, that dropkick to finish Kaitlyn actually looked pretty good.
Great PPV and great report.
I thought the PPV would be doomed from the beginning: stupid storylines, WWE champ out of action, matches we’ve seen a lot… And I was wrong.
The Shield vs Hell No and Ryback was fantastic, at times breathtaking, and as Brandon said, it’s also thanks to the crowd. It was a very strategical, logical match (paradoxically) completed by crazy moments.
Punk vs Bryan at OTL is still my favorite match of the year but I’m so glad I stayed up so late.
Other thoughts:
Cesaro is awesome.
Regarding the WHC, I hope Henry comes back too: even if the resulting match between him and Show might not be wonderful, I’m still waiting for the Wrestlemania title match between Henry and Bryan my fantasy booking promised me.
TOTALLY FREAKING AGREED !!!
CATS. ON. TREADMILLS.
I don’t know how many times I’ve gotta say it, but I’m gonna keep on saying it until every single Rock segment has been replaced with them.
Also, you can’t have the sound of running bulls, otherwise people will think that Mantaur is going to show up and get irrationally excited. Or…just me. Either way, MANTAUR.
The best part is when they stop walking and they just gracefully step off the treadmill.
YES. Or when the treadmill slows down and they’re SO CONFUSED.
CATS ON TREADMILLS, BRANDON.
Cats on treadmills, clap-clap, clap-clap-clap
CO-DY’S TREAD-MILL! *CLAP-CLAP-CLAPCLAPCLAP!*
…wait what are we chanting?
CATS WITH MUS-TACHE! CLAP-CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP
KONY’S DREADFUL clap-clap-clapclapclap
sorry, stuck in my annual ‘look back at shit that happened this year’ mode.
Happy Brandon reports are the best. Like I said last night, it’s awesome when wrestling doesn’t suck.
I liked pretty much everything I saw last night, except the Kofi match but hey, what can you do? Hopefully, the Slammies are good…? Last year’s show was beyond awful but hey, positivity!
totally agreed !
God bless you, Milkman. Optimism!
I was out of town this weekend for my MA graduation, and the traveling messed up my sleep cycle so somehow I slept through both Tables and Ladders, as well as Chairs. Too bad, because it looks like it was actually fun! And things I like happened, like Yes chants, friendship, Naomi’s butt, Ziggling, and AJ doing something fun again. Grr! Arg! As long as I don’t fall asleep again randomly, I’ll be on tonight for Monday Night Raw (which at my place is also Monday Night Pizza), and maybe it’ll be good still?
Also, R Truth! Your leg! Gross!
at least you’ll have pizza! man, i need a tradition like MNP :(
ALSO CON-GRADUATIONS!
PIZZA TIME! Did a moon tell you to order pizzas?
Congrats on graduating!
Nothing makes my happier than one wrestler doing another wrestlers finisher or signature movez. Doesn’t matter if it’s an homage or an insult, I mark out every time.
It really is a shame that Barrett just cannot get his shit together when it comes to picking a finish. Basically everything else a pro wrestler can do, he does very well. But he took a less impressive version of Bob Holly’s finisher and swapped it out for a more convoluted, less impressive version of Lex Luger’s WWF finisher (ponder that).
I know Sheamus has friendship dibs on him, but couldn’t they just have William Regal show up and say to Barrett “You’re British, I’m British, what say you just use the Regal Stretch?”
(Takes a glimpse into the future)
THE ROCK: ♪Little Johny Cena and AJ Lee♪
♪Cutest little couple you ever did see♪
♪But wait, there’s a problem she did not foresee♪
♪Little Johny Cena doesn’t have a pee-pee!♪
♪LETS ROCK♪
…NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
:(
:(
:(
Alex’s comment needs to be deleted. They stole Rhodes Scholars, they will damn sure steal that.
UH HULLO! I saw it in the future, it’s gonna happen like it or not.
It happens in the future because of you Alex! You copied from the WWE what the WWE copied from you!
so loopers are involved?
like braden?
Is that a (great, btw) baseball joke? I don’t know anything about baseball except from Wii Sports and the last Eastwood movie so it’s hard to keep up…
I think it’s rather a Terminator situation. We have to send someone back in time to prevent (peacefully) Alex from peeking into the future.
yes, braden looper is a pitching mans what hurls basedballs for his jorb
Y’all ‘muricans and your dumb sports lawl
No but for real I never watched an entire game but I enjoy the sport. Craig Ferguson summed up pretty well in an interview: “In baseball you have 3/10, you’re a star, you’re an Hall-of-Famer [...] So the idea of swing and miss, there is no disgrace connected to the idea of swing and miss [...] you swing and miss, never mind, try again!”. That’s a completely different approach to sports, and it’s very interesting.
Awesome report Brandon! Sorry I missed you at the big NWA Smoky Mountain event. Hope you had a good time watching Zac Vincent and Jason Kincaid, who are pretty much the 2 reasons to watch NWASM.
Kincaid is a great talent.
BEST: 26 BELL SALUTE
Thank you for the TLC report. Sometimes I disagree with what you say in certain parts of the B/W columns, but that’s just how opinions work. This one was almost completely right on with how I feel. And also, I think I enjoyed it a little more just because I didn’t have to deal with Lawler’s dumb hipster explanation. I seriously had an amazing time. Couldn’t have picked a better kind of PPV to start visiting Barclays. While I wasn’t too happy with the entrance setup leading into the arena, or the fact that my buddy I’m pretty sure got food poisoning from their nachos, I did have a good time and the seats I got were great for the price we paid. All in all, I hope to see more PPVs soon, and can’t wait for mania. Another negative was not being able to buy the souvenir cups with soda because of Bloomberg’s new 20oz or less law.
I laughed hysterically when Big Show won with the BIG CHAIR and I did so again when I saw the gif of Big Show and the BIG CHAIR. That chair is the greatest thing ever.
GREAT REVIEW as usuall mr.my favourite fellow wrestling fan in the world -but seriously stop insulting TNA because it’s became much better than before- brandon stroud !
I’m always so excited before starting to read your reviews … and so so so sad when it finishes …
I wish I knew you in real life …
Mom?
The only thing more maddening than Kofi/Wade’s booking was Cena’s “gee golly whiz” face after losing a title shot.
It’s because he knows that another one will be coming around for him eventually. Heck, he’ll probably get one after Dolph cashes in!
Dolph cashes in, John Cena makes the match a triple threat because of the John Cena clause.
JOHN CENA IS NOT THE WWE CHAMPION OR MR MONEY IN THE BANK BUT HE IS STILL THE MAN. NO ONE ELICITS SUCH A REACTION FROM THE WWE UNIVERSE.
Did Cena even realize that Dolph’s MITB contract is for the WHC and not the WWE Title? I don’t think anyone told him. He’ll probably feel a lot better once he figures that out.
I also don’t think he did, based on how he talked about the briefcase.
Truth’s knee looks like he ripped off a Band-Aid really fast and a couple of inches of skin came along for the ride instead of just the usual bit of leg hair. Nasty.
Cena’s rana was more of a hurriCANTrana, amirite u guyz?
youarerite! *Internet high-five*
Worst to Cena Face to end the PPV. The crowd sold that way better than he did.
RIP Seth Rollins and Team Hell No.
Quite possibly my favorite PPV of the year. Nice report, Brandon.
So that’s what the insides of R-Truth’s leg looks like. Proops to him for not panicking when he looked at his leg and saw muscle.
Greg?
(sorry, i’m totes a jerk-store)
Awesome report Brandon! Also, no worries about the thread. We hung out on the Tank Abbot page for a while and had plenty of fun.
tell yo friends to hang out with Me ‘n’ Tank, it’s way fun! also i need the support to not go crazy-gravy :(
I just finished watching the TLC because I couldnt last night and I was able to resist going online to just read what happened.
TLC, B&W, then RAW.
+influenza
Also, I can’t remember going between hating and loving a segment as many times as I did during that Miz/TV 3MB segment.
A great discretion of TLC. Loved your ADR/Ricardo and Team Hell No friendships. Both are some of favorite things in WWE right now. Here’s hoping AJ is back to her mysterious ways and no longer Cena’s gal pal.
It’s my favorite tag team B.G and Kip James!
you uh, aren’t in the live thread
Comeback of the Year? How about the time Cena was fired and then came back later in the same show? Or the other time that exact same thing happened?
So I think Eve is about one more step away from replacing Kaitlyn as my favorite Diva… She is kicking ass right now…
HUSTLE
LOYALITY
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS
Brandon: A Question. Are you down with Eve’s posing because it’s a pale echo of Kikutaro’s tweet from Trios?
Well, we now know Cena does not watch wrestling, or he would have understood by now that making AJ feel unwanted and/or unloved ends badly.
Pulling Brooklyn Brawler from the hat was OK, especially when JBL began namedropping all the old stars who would rejoice in his win; Kim Chee, Doink etc… They needed a breather in the show, and 3MB vs a local oldie and two “fresh from the mint”-faces was much better than a Teddy Long/Khali/Hornswoggle skit backstage…
Sierra
Hotel
India
Echo
Lima
Delta
SnoopRob’s comment is going to make me laugh all week, kudos.
I’m reading this report while watching RAW tonight and it’s just hitting all my YES YES YES points. I watch tonight with all the hope and fun that last night’s PPV was. I’m sure my hopes will be crushed, but you know… OPTIMISM.
I’m pretty sure Show’s chair said “ACME” on the back.
You know, at some point Cena really needs to get credit. He just gave Dolph Ziggler the best match of his career. He also had CM Punk’s three best matches in WWE, guided a clearly rusty as hell Rock to a pretty good match, and had the match of the year with Brock Lesnar.
His gimmick is generally terrible, he’s way overexposed, his promos that aren’t on The Rock are cringe-worthy, his tv matches are painfully formulaic… But he is absolutely the best big match guy in the company. When they absolutely, positively have to have a 25 minute ppv match that delivers, Cena does it better than anyone else. And for that, he gets “You Can’t Wrestle” chants.
I guess Sin Cara is pretty much the Golden Age Green Lantern. That means that eventually we can look forward to him getting replaced by his pet dog that the fans like more.