I almost called him “The Ndamukong Suh Of Football.” Remember when Suh fell down and his leg just happened to float straight up into the air, find itself directly in front of Matt Schaub’s junk and kick “for stability” because it’d become sentient and detached from the rest of Suh’s body?
Meet Pepe, the hobby horse Portuguese professional footballer for Real Madrid who has similar magic nut-crushing leg problems. Here we see him getting frustrated and kung-fu kicking backwards, accidentally stomping Celta Vigo’s Soto Roberto Lago in the dick. I’m sure he didn’t meant to do it — I don’t think soccer players would ever intentionally hurt one another — but hey, sometimes your leg’s brain goes AWOL and makes it boondoggle the nearest pair of balls.
If he didn’t do it on purpose, my theory is that he was going for this:
Man, it took so much restraint for me to not make this headline “Pepe, Right In The Peepee.”
[h/t to Dirty Tackle]
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He is a nasty, cheating piece of shit. It’d be one thing if he just swaggered around like Nigel De Jong attempting to murder people, but Pepe also likes to dive like a pansy at every opportunity.
Yeah Pepe is one of those players who is just everything terrible about soccer. Diver. Cheap shot artist. Whiner. All made more frustrating by the fact then when he just shows up and plays he’s very good. Soccer can suck sometimes.
Ooh, right in the six-yard box.
I appreciated the Pepe the Hobby Horse reference. Just thought I’d let you know.
Yup, Pepe is the guy you want on your team and you absolutely hate playing against because you spend most of the game wanting to kill the guy for all the very borderline legal (within the game) shit he does to you.
In that regard, he’s a lot like Philadelphia’s Chris Pronger. Both he and Pronger know that the ref isn’t going to call everything that they do, so they push the limits until they get caught. It’s brilliant, really.