Back in July, With Leather created an Internet maelstrom (or “malestrom”) of guys furiously GIFfing and watermarking pictures of Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke. The clip of her infectiously smiling and dancing before owning heat 2 of the Women’s 100 metres hurdles at the 14th IAAF World Junior Championships in Barcelona went nuclear, we were called perverts by everyone from the UK Daily Mail to Yahoo!, and it ultimately led to Michelle getting offers to pose nude by … basically everybody.
What it never led to was Michelle Jenneke hanging out with us, playing video games with us or sharing pancakes. Or crying at Up. Or any of the things that were special and rightfully ours.
Somehow, theChive had the connections to live our dreams. I guess UPROXX was too busy not fulfilling our dreams and let this one slip through the cracks. Anyway, I am now officially Forever Alone, and you can watch this clip of people I don’t know palling around with a lady I don’t know and ruining my life.
Michelle Jenneke, you are beautiful and seem great, but here is an emoticon: :(
[h/t to @JohnHyperion]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1245/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wizard-battle-stadium-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Water-Skiing-Baby-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/ACDC-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Dog-TV-180x180.gif)
It’s a travesty in every definition that you aren’t as “important” as TheChive.
We can do this. We can beat ‘The Chive’.
KEEP CALM AND DIE CHIVE
WHAT BULLSHIT.
*Sigh* I had so many College Humor Batman videos I wanted to be the first to show her.
A dwarf walks into a doctor’s office and asks the receptionist, “do you treat dwarfs here?”
“As a matter of fact we do. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”
Michelle just gets me.
The world is not fair.
Fuck the world.
I enjoyed the part where she dances
It’s 6:26 AM, and I am officially depressed…and slightly aroused…
dammit Australia…
I smiled the whole thing.
It should be mandatory for her to wear her track uniform 24/7.
I’d sign that internet petition.
My god, her body is ridiculous
The only “Chiver” or whatever that I know, happens to be a coworker of mine at a small office that sits on the exact opposite side of the room as me. Seems appropriate.
The fact that this isn’t an UPROXX production gives me the sad.
Someone is working on a “Kate Upton is pretty and bouncy and adorable” video to prove that Uproxx is more relevant than Chive, right? RIGHT?!
So now Yahoo and UK Daily whatever are gonna call The Chive perverts, right? RIGHT?!?
you’re more important than the Chive in my heart
1) This should have been ME! *runs away crying*
2) What the hell is Chive?
VI) This is clearly The Chive declaring war on WithLeather. I propose we try and find a way to get WithLeather (and myself for coming up with the idea) to meet someone SUPER FAMOUS. That’d make it 1-1, or what the kids call in break dance movies a woozle wazzle
Eating pancakes with nunchucks while half drinking/half spilling milk on your footie pajamas?!?! Wow its like he knows perfectly combines the 8 yr old me and the 28 yr old me. Oh ya and stunningly hot girl…bla bla blah
The girl of my dreams :’( FOREVER ALONE
I truly do not understand theChive, and the so called fucking community that has formed around it. It’s a fucking website that reposts pictures from around the web. Seriously, WTF?!
Much like 411, I am in continuous amazement that The Chive even still exists.
411 makes sense, it’s a tabloid. TheChive does not.
But wait you know what’shisface Mr. America? Not Johnny Curtis or Brodus Clay, but the other dude… Derrick Bateman, yeah that’shisname, you know him, he’s famous pal, I think, does he count as famous as Michelle Jenneke?