
Wait, am I doing this right?
All right, I promised that I was going to stop writing about controversial topics or inciting passionate debate, but I have to get this off my chest. My rankings of the best major fast food pizza chains are as follows:
1) Little Caesars
2) Papa John’s
3) Hungry Howie’s
4) Pizza Hut
5) Domino’s Pizza
There. That feels better. Now, please keep in mind that I don’t eat any from any of these companies that often, as I prefer to eat local and fresh. I’ve also seen what happens behind the scenes in random stores of some of those companies, and let’s just say it was boogerific.
I have a soft spot for Little Caesars, though, because their $5 Hot N Ready pepperoni pizzas got me through some tough times in college, and every once in a while I think about trying to house one of them for old time’s sake. Then I check my latest cholesterol count and I cry into a bowl of celery.
In conclusion, hooray bowl games!
NCAA Football: Little Caesars Bowl – Western Kentucky vs. Central Michigan – 7:30 PM ET on ESPN
When the NCAA finally starts the bowl playoff system, I hope that they set it so the first round, which will feature all of the currently crappy and meaningless games, takes place across the span of 48 hours. Like, we can’t sleep at all, because every 3 hours there’s a game on. If we can do it with meaningless basketball, then we can certainly do it with meaningful football.
NBA: L.A. Lakers at Denver Nuggets – 9 PM ET on Regional
The Lakers have won 5 in a row and have a healthy Steve Nash back, so it looks like it might be time to stop reveling in their demise until they lose in the first round of the playoffs. But hey, it won’t be because of Dwight Howard’s missed free throws, okay? And hey, at least they brought these two kids back together…

WWE Main Event – 8 PM ET on ION
Per ION: “A team of elite military operatives board a hijacked plane in mid-air. Without radio contact or technical support, they attempt to disable a bomb loaded with nerve gas that, if detonated, could kill everyone living on the entire East Coast of the United States.” Okay, that’s the plot summery of Executive Decision, but that movie was awesome.
In the meantime, I’ll be watching this panda with a ball.



Man, Eminem looks hung over.
Little Caesar also wins top spot in the commercial department.
Which one has the Noid? I’ve been told to avoid him. But seriously, Papa Murphy’s take and bake is the bomb-diggity.
The panda has a better move set than John Cena.
Little Caesar’s is a win only for their delicious crazy bread.
Little Caesars? Really? I have not had that in forever, so I can’t really disagree with you. But I’m very surprised. It always seemed like a mediocre cheap pizza to me, where you’d be better off getting a frozen Tombstone pizza instead.
I’d quibble with your inclusion of Hungry Howie’s too. I had never heard of it before today, and the closest one to me is 230 miles away in Valparaiso, IN. I’d rank it in the largest regional chains, among chains like Sbarro, Godfather’s Pizza, Cici’s Pizza, and Chuck E. Cheese.
Little Caesars? I haven’t had that pizza in years. It used to taste like cardboard with ketchup and cheap ingredients. Not like any of the other pizzas on your list is that much better.
Fuck all 5. Papa Ginos is where it’s at for chains.
Little Caesar’s reheated + parmesan cheese = pure win
Hungry Howie’s was decent when we had one in the late-’90s, Little Ceasars sucks, Domino’s is passable since the upgrade, Papa John is a bitch so fuck his stupid pizza, and Pizza Hut is the only legitimately good pizza on the list (that I have access to in waning days of 2012 anyway). Come to the Midwest and try our regional chain Happy Joe’s if you want some truly amazing chain pizza though. They invented taco pizza, man, and probably not in the bullshit Bobby Valentine inventing the wrap way.