Shut up, Greg Olsen.
Last week, we kicked off the first installment of the With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group, because Week 9 made perfect sense. Whatever, jerks. But Doug Martin was the seemingly overwhelming choice for the “I hate that guy so much” sudden point outburst, after he had cost me and so many other fantasy football owners victories. This week, the task of narrowing down one specific player performance that may have caused self-induced vomiting and hair loss, because it was a pretty standard week with the usual suspects leading the way.
Based on the most probably standard scoring, here are the Top 3 scoring performances at each offensive position this week…
QB: Joe Flacco (35, because he’s elite), Matt Ryan (32) and Andy Dalton (31)
I'm pretty sure he was the youngest son on Home Improvement.
RB: Adrian “The Best Second Round Pick Ever” Peterson (25), Fred Jackson (21), Marshawn Lynch/Steven Jackson (!!!)/Chris Johnson (18 each)
My best friend.
WR: Calvin “Finally” Johnson (24), Danario Alexander (19), Torrey Smith (18)
"Well done, sir!" "WELL DONE, INDEED!"
TE: Jimmy Graham (26), Tony “Fountain of Youth” Gonzalez (24), Greg “F*cking” Olsen (22)
Please don't actually be on fire.
That last nickname and the banner image should tell you where I’m going with this, but Olsen is the guy who caused the most grief in the Burns household on Sunday, as his career performance (9 rec, 102 yds and 2 TD in my PPR) almost destroyed me. Thankfully, I still pulled out the win, and managed to finish the weekend 4-0*, so there won’t be any crying out of me. In fact, I can tell the horror story of my fantasy opponent, who trailed me 17.5 with Ben Roethlisberger and Dwayne Bowe going last night. I won by 6.5 after Ben left the game with a shoulder injury and Bowe had the touchdown call reversed on that horrible holding call. And to tack on to the loss, he has Ben and Michael Vick, both of whom might be done for the season. Ouch.
But that’s why this is a support group, so everyone else can vent and tell their fantasy horror stories for the weekend. And remember, the worst story will receive a third edition WL t-shirt** to help cushion the blow.
* I was actually 4-1, but I lost in my auction league, therefore ending my season barring a miracle, and auction leagues are the damn devil, so I won’t be factoring that in anymore.
** I still have plenty of t-shirts left for sale for charity, so jump in if you want to help a good cause. Thanks to the people who already have ordered their shirts, because they rule.
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Stafford finally goes off throwing to Johnson, and Johnson is playing against me that week. Dammit.
*Sigh*
The losing streak continues…
Lost by 1 fucking point this week. Didn’t see any of the games, so I didn’t think anything of it, then I saw Victor Cruz’s dropped pass, which would’ve assured me the win. Also started Breesus over Flacco.
4 straight loses, to put me in a 4 way tie for 3rd, after being in 1st and up by 2 games.
Worst part about this year’s league? My friend, who’s team I helped draft, hasn’t moved/checked his team since the draft and is now in 1st place. Even with people hurt/on by weeks.
I’m down 20 points exactly in my main league with Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh special teams to go. It should be easy, because QB scoring is inflated (10 yards = 1 point, 6 pts for passing TDs), and special teams yardage counts for the same breakdown as rushing/receiving yards. So, what happens? KC doesn’t kick to any Pittsburgh returners all game and Roethlisberger gets hurt. Furthermore, Cassell doesn’t even have the common decency to let his team punt in OT. I fall 2.5 points short of a tie.
I feel like kicking a kitten right now.
Out of my five quarterbacks between my two fantasy leagues, two had bye weeks (RGIII and Rodgers), two earned concussions before halftime (Cutler and Smith) and one put up a whopping two points for the second straight week (thanks a lot, Eli Manning).
I now have a worse record than the Cleveland Browns in one of my leagues. It makes me weep inside.
Won by 1.38 points! Entered the Sunday nighter up by 13 points with Gould and Forte going against me. As your Mom likes to say, “That was a squeaker!”
AAAIIAIGHHGHGH!!! They just adjusted Anthony Spencer down 2.5 points!! I lost!! Shirt me!
I lost in a survival league due to my “real life team” the 49ers and their crappy tie. I’m still calling bulls*it because I didn’t technically lose. On top of that I went 0-2 in fantasy this week.
Was up 19 points with Miles Austin and going against the Dallas D/ST. 4.2 points from Austin, Dallas scores 24 points. Game over. I have the 3rd highest scoring team in a 12 team league and yet I am 3-7.
Seriously, anyone else get fucked over by the Dallas defense/special teams?
Started Roethlisberger over Tom Brady, because I was sure Steelers would destroy the Chiefs. Needless to say I cursed the various gods I don’t believe in.
Also, started Miles Austin over CJ Spiller. Spiller got me 18 while Austin got me 4. Not to mention Victor Cruz only got me 3.
Lynch, Rice, Graham, and Broncos D made it better, but I still lost by 15 points. Much anger and frustration.
My hate goes out to Yahoo Sports, which crashed before I could make a last minute Chris Ivory to starting lineup move…and I lost by .18 f*cking points.
However in another league, I was down 1 point last night with Suisham still active. So I needed the Chiefs to not suck enough so they could get the game to OT then to suck enough to throw an INT for him to kick the game-winning field goal. So thanks to Swisher Suisam and the Chiefs being Chief-y I won by 2.
I loved my draft. Then I started the season 0-4. I am now 6-4. Mostly in part to the two headed monster which I have dubbed Purple Breesus. Best part of my week 10? Eeking out a tough win, thanks in part to starting Felix Jones, who was dropped by my opponent at the beginning of the week.
my opponent started tannehill.
i started eli.
we tied.
Benched Flacco for King Brady, because I figured Buffalo “might” show up this week. In my NFL League, Flacco went home with 45 points, and Brady barely scratched 27.
I lost by 8 points this week.
Played Ryan broyle and nate Washington. My grandmother had mote catches this week then both of them combined. Injury bug(first jon stewart, then forte, then jimmy graham, then demarco Murray, then Percy harvin) just claimed big Ben on me… Ugh. I have no one to pick.up and prob will be putting in scrubs to fill in for Percy and demarco.
Got royally fucked this week, mainly due to byes. Rodgers out, started Cam Newton (got good total out of him, for him this year). Pierre Thomas instead of Trent Richardson, fucking PT got only a couple points. Started Vernon Davis, due to ESPN’s rec, over Demaryious Thomas. Yeah, fuck you ESPN. And the goddamn Dolphins had -6 points on defense. NEGATIVE 6 FUCKING POINTS. Fuck you, Miami, fuck you.