Pre-taped pre-show notes:
- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are greatly appreciated. Let your friends and wrestling pals in on the jokes, or at least the big long-winded paragraphs about women’s rights!
- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
- I had a big weekend, so if you’re the type who only checks With Leather for the wrestling reports, please take an active interest in my non-wrestling life: You can check out the teaser trailer and posters for my feature film debut in ‘Summer League,’ then visit my gallery of sports from Fun Fun Fun Fest 2012, featuring me as an Air Sex Championships judge and as the YES-chant-starting host of a Veggie Hot Dog Eating Contest. Fun times.
- I may (may) need someone to fill in for me on the Survivor Series report, so if you’re an Internet or real life person of note and are interested, shoot me an e-mail at MrBrandonStroud@gmail.com.
Anyway, please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for November 5, 2012.
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BRAD. MADDOX.
Is it Maddix or MaddAHx?
Honestly, I’m tired of AJ. Yeah, she’s good-looking but this soap opera shit needs to stop. Maybe if Linda loses her Senate race, Vince can finally figure out that he doesn’t need this family-friendly garbage anymore.
A man can dream, can’t he?
My theory is they made AJ less crazy because of the Senate race. Hopefully I’m proven right next week.
AJ is the hot girl so naturally Vince and Cena have to be put into story lines with her doing nothing more than hitching their wagon onto her raising profile and when she starts to sink, because of them, they jump off and she falls into obscurity on Smackdown.
Oh. I HOWLED laughing at Prime Time Players in “Michael Cole.”
I hope I’m wrong, but I feel like the name/gimmick “Fandangoo” tells us exactly how serious Creative is about the future of Johnny Curtis.
“That’s right, Johnny, we’re putting you on TV! Oh, but you’ll be playing a ballroom dancer named Fandangoo. Yeah, seriously. Oh, and John Cena, Jerry Lawler, and/or JBL will probably make a few gay jokes. Good luck, kid.”
2 words. Dolph and Ziggler. Sure, having a less than cool gimmick is pretty bad, but there have been worse gimmicks out there that have gotten over due to the performer’s capabilities. Before I pass judgement on this, I want to see how Curtis pulls it off. I mean look at Sandow. Conventional wisdom would have dictated that his type of character would have failed like it has everytime in the past. Yet, Sandow is in the process of getting over pretty damn well. I think Curtis has the ability to pull it off and want to see how he does first.
I’ll give him a shot. He was phenomenal as “creepy guy.” Maybe this is in his wheelhouse too.
When you say that Sandow’s character type has failed every time in the past I say UNTRUE. Lanny Poffo rocked “The Genius” gimmick for a good, long run.
NEEDS MORE FANDAGOO
“I hate (hate hate hate) being that morose Raw reviewer who “hates everything,” and I try really hard not to be that, but man, there is nothing in pro wrestling staler than matches like this.”
Don’t feel bad, you’re a much better fan and journalist than I ever could be. I flipped over to see what was happenin’ on Raw during a MNF commercial break, observed some AJ slut shaming, and decided I’d stick with a semi-delirious Jon Gruden. You do God’s work Brandon.
It is becoming increasingly difficult to agree with you any more fully on basically everything, and I finally dont hate Jack Swagger’s written lisp so that segment got a lot better too.
Loved it except for the England bashing. Bitches. Hope Romney wins and stops vegan food. Just kidding, my man. Nice work. I’m interested in writing the Survivor Series thing but I’m super not interesting in watching Survivor Series.
I meant “interested” there. Clearly I shouldn’t do it because I don’t proof read well.
Another week where I didn’t watch Raw and another week where I don’t really care. I think these 3 hour Raw’s have gotten to me.
I’m almost there. This site is acting as life support for my WWE fandom.
Consider this my official request that Lester’s next JSoM poster be based on this DVD cover: [catcubed(dot)com]
While your HamBack comment was fucking fabulous, I just wanted to make sure you got some props for the Sheameo and Otunget (W/ special appearance by Mercutillicutty) brilliance. You rule, sir. Gold fucking star.
Haha, thanks. I just wish I would have changes two lines in the second one! It could have been so much better!
Pre general manager AJ wouldn’t have put up with any of this shit, or so I like to tell myself.
Pre-GM AJ would have responded to Vickie’s allegations by skipping to the ring and Kane-kissing her.
It’s actually ingrained in the AJ character that she puts up with shit for way longer than the average person would. For example, her entire relationship with Daniel Bryan.
Brandon, I like your reports but I wish you wouldn’t “bail” on the last hour of a three hour show. If this report is just “The Best and Worst of the Parts of Raw I felt like Watching”, then I really think it loses something in the execution. I mean, you haven’t bailed on writing Jack Swagger of Mars, right?
I know the obvious response, “well, then don’t read my reports.” I know that, but I thought I’d share my opinion.
For what it’s worth, I agree. It definitely throws the feel of the report and turns the whole thing into an exercise in self loathing. I don’t know the solution, but I agree with Buzz.
+1. If I got paid to watch wrestling I’d at least half-pay attention until the thing was over.
The thing about that is that I don’t get paid to watch wrestling. I get paid to run a sports blog, and the wrestling column is a part of that.
The column itself isn’t an attempt to recap Raw, or to provide results or any kind of objective commentary besides what I naturally come up with. It’s my reaction to Raw. That’s it. Not overwhelmingly negative or positive on purpose, just what I thought when I was watching the show. Sometimes I just want to stop watching the show. It happens. Not a lot, but hopefully the 6-ish free pages of wrestling writing I give you guys every week can make up for me skipping a John Cena tag from time to time.
Also, I’m not going to tell you to stop reading my reports. Please keep reading them.
A little bit of John Cena’s soul just died.
But then wweshop.com sold 14 Rise Above Hate t-shirts and John Cena’s soul recovered.
OK, so I haven’t been watching RAW for the past four weeks, but I have been keeping up through these reports (
OK, so I haven’t been watching RAW for the past four weeks, but I have been keeping up through these reports, and OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING MORE THAN I WANT FANDANGOO AND HIS SIMS BACKGROUND MUSIC ENTRANCE THEME OH GOD.
Good call on the Sims music. I knew it sounded familiar. That music played when I was shaping my swimming pool to spell out my name.
Will you do the Fandangoo?
Thunderbolt and lightning — very, very frightening
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Figaro — magnifico!
If they do this Maddox thing right he could be as huge as the Danny Davis angle was. People HATED that guy.
Danny Davis was dangerous though.
NEEDS MOAR MEGAPHONE!!! Also, Honky’s guitar.
Is it pronouced Fan-dang-ew or Fan-dang-o? Because the way it’s spelled makes me honestly want to say the first one.
Fand-a-goo, or maybe fan-dan-goo You need the “goo” sound.
I also put the emphasis on the “goo”
I have this hunch that they’ll emphasize the “goo” with a little bit of a lilt, like Fandan-go-oo or something. You know, to make it MOAR GAY
I am throwing money at my laptop. Where is the Jack Swagger of Mars movie?
I think in retrospect I enjoyed this Raw. Vickie Guerrero is the obvious best, but main-event stars aside, it’s doing the thing that makes me love (then eventually hate) this show. All of this hope and potential! Brad Maddox: Actual Person, now with 100% more depth! Wade Barrett is a thing again! Miz wrestled for more than 30 seconds and maybe has some kind of direction to go in!
I know in my heart of hearts they’ll find some way to spoil it all, but right now it really makes me want to be optimistic, and also fantasy book Johnny Curtis’s Sailor Moon transformation into FANDANGOO into everything I can.
Because FANDANGOO.
*Reads JKoebs Top 10 Comment*
*Stands and begins a slow clap *
Seriously, we have to meet up one of these days, I will throw roses at your feet for this work of art you typed up last night.
Well, in lieu of roses maybe just go halvsies on a lunch buffet somewhere on the strip in the next three weeks before I relocate back to the midwest.
RELOCATING!? Awww man, we have to make this happen, I’m free for lunch on Saturdays, which buffets you like? Rio – Carnival World?
Yeah, some job related stuff, some family stuff, just makes sense to be back there right now. Sorry to leave you alone in the desert. Next Saturday would work for me, and I have no preference on strip buffets. I will defer to you good sir.
Ryback squashing Punk was awful.
WWE has no clue how to build a real heel.
@Iron Mike, WWE’s idea of a heel is someone who does mean things that aren’t as mean as what the face does and is dumb as a pile of bricks. Also all WWE heels must be able to lose 200 consecutive matches before their feud ends.
Also, all WWE heels have to be whiny cowards who run away and sound annoyingly repetitive.
I may have done the “ARUHARUHARUHARUHARUH” thing after seeing myself in the top comments.
And as excited as I am for Fandangoo, not looking forward to his feud with Brodus, unless he can convert the Funkadactlyettes, or whatever he calls them these days.
Yanno what i don’t get? Why Yanks always think this is Wade Barrett’s Hometown when he’s from Preston near Manchester, it’ll be like saying in a show in Chicago that it’s Johnny Curtis’ Hometown. It’s not just you, as I said it’s every single American who mistakes towns for countries for some ridiculous reason.
It’s just an extension of how Boston is treated as Cena’s hometown because it’s as close as WWE will get to having a show in West Newbury.
West Newbury is 45 miles outside of Boston (I looked it up) and Preston is 102 miles from Birmingham, so it’s more of a stretch, but it’s nothing to get worked up over.
For the same reason that I would be billed from New York City even though Im from Greenwich, CT. The McMahon family are the only people in the WWE allowed to be from Greenwich. Them and the Mean Street Posse.
Or because FANDANGOO!!!!
PRESTOOOOON
@Lester – but bearing in mind the relative scale of the countries, it’s slightly different! Birmingham = / = Manchester and is nowhere near.
Brandon, you should try to convince Burnsy to fill in for you in case you can’t do the B&W of Survivor Series! I’d give it a try myself if Survivor Series were to take place a week later, when I have time off from work.
I can think of someone who shouldn’t be too busy to recap Survivor Series – DERRICK BATEMAN!
He is a reporter. He gets cool photos of THE USA GUY all the time, somehow coincidentally always being where he is.
are we just gonna pretend the voiceover guy at the beginning didnt happen?
Hopefully.
Yeah, like Santino trying to find out who the Raw GM is. He was in the ring, the GM lights flashed and then something happened but I’m not sure what.
Are we getting an Open Thread for the “live” Smackdown tonight? I think we had one last time Smackdown was on a Tuesday.
boom [withleather.uproxx.com]
It might be the election fatigue talking, but Brad Maddox looks like James Marsden’s Cyclops without the glasses.
I said it in the live stream, but good on Wade Barrett for being the only Superstar bothered to wear a poppy on remembrance week. WWE doesn’t want to know about any charity that Linda can’t cash in on.
I made a Wellness joke about the poppy that nobody appreciated! Yay poppies! but not poppies martinez, he’s a kind of a crappy fighter.
That made me really happy, and also really aware that I don’t have one yet. I mean, I have three on my bulletin board and two in the car, but those are from last year and don’t count.
It also served as a reminder that British poppies are way nicer than Canadian poppies.
Man, I’m so bummed I don’t really have the time to participate in the Raw discussion threads anymore. Stupid, sexy 3-hour Raws!
The best of recent RAWs is Cole trying to one-up JR Facts. JR will say something like “Kaitlyn was a champion powerlifter in Texas,” and Cole will add in something he noticed on the touring bus like “and she can open a pickle jar in 2 seconds flat!”
So glad that Bateman’s Sunny reference made the top 10
I”m not one to talk but Santino seems to be getting a little chunky lately right ?
So… triple threat? Punk pins Ryback…. Cena says “YOU CAN’T BEAT ME, YOU HAD TO BEAT RYBACK” so that feud gets another month. Punk loses to Cena in December. Cena fights Rock at Royal Rumble? Rock wins? Denigrates the WWE Championship? Punk quits to sell clothes at the GAP? Goddamnit.
P.S. YEAH! TOP 10! Subtly taking advantage of everyone being less then enthused to watch a pre-taped in England Raw.
The best part of the show was Jim Ross emphasizing that the hot coffee Orton threw on poor Ricardo was high-test. “That wasn’t decaf, that’s the real stuff!”
“Bah Gawd! That’s Nescafé Gold! There’s only 7 places in Oklahoma that sell it!”
I can’t participate in the live threads anymore since we made the budget decision to dump our cable and that makes me has sads. As to Raw this week, with the exception of Barrett and Dolph’s 3,467 elbows in a row on Jern, I was pretty damn indifferent. I was also really glad I was following the open thread while watching Raw this morning otherwise I would have convinced myself that I had hallucinated Fandangoo.
Ladies! Gents! There’s a Smackdown live thread going on! [withleather.uproxx.com]
1) Great review.
2) Hamlet!
3) I would love to live in WWE Earth 2. If there is a place where everyone loses their shit over Wade Barrett, does that make the rest of our lives the Darkest Timeline?
It’s not like Vince couldn’t add stipulations to the wwe-championship match, so there is a reason for CM Punk to not push his luck. But the best part of the whole segment was Punk reacting to Vickies “good news” that he and Ziggler would face Cena&Ryback… He was -this- close to ask Ziggler whether she was infact retarded…
I’m really just happy that Cena copped to having somewhere between 4 and 5 moves. He’s a big silly.
“…being a wrestling fan involves accepting that you and at least 90% of the people who like what you like have some kind of mental disorder where a thing you love is about people who pretend to fight alienating as many people as possible to define who is bad and who is good and physically killing themselves to entertain America’s worst people.”
This is probably the teacher in me talking, but jeez, Brandon, throw in a semicolon or comma somewhere in there…
I was at this RAW and my friends and I are the ones who started the “You can’t wrestle” chant @ Maddox. It was a reference to his inability to get a WWE contract and not a critique of his wrestling ability. We also triggered an audible boring chant, but I’m not sure if it made it to the broadcast.
“You Can’t Wrestle” AND “boring” chants? If you threw in a “You Fucked Up” you’d have the whole set.
It was a bad chant. Also, stop saying What at things.
And Jesus, don’t brag about starting boring chants.
@Lester Alas, we waited intently for a chance to unleash “You Can’t Wrestle!” and “Holy Shit” but the opportunity never really presented itself. There was also talk of “We Want Puppies!” but we decided against it as a sign of respect for our wounded comrade, Jerry Lawler.
@Brandon It’s not a matter of bragging. Bragging about starting a wrestling chant is like bragging about successfully wiping your ass without ripping the toilet paper, I haven’t seen the broadcast so I was just wondering if it was audible or not.
Regarding the nature of the chants, I guess it comes down to mentality. Regularly attending futbol matches leaves you with this innate need to goad the opposition at sporting events, which in this case was a visibly nervous heel. Once we picked up on his unease, we did our upmost to fluster him and it worked. To me, that’s the essence of the heel/crowd dynamic.
Wait, I thought Sandow wears pink to express his intelligence? That he doesn’t surround himself with pettiness or follow the same thought process as common folk. I don’t think it ever occurred to me if it was for people to wonder whether or not he’s gay.
That’s probably because you’re a normal person, and not first and foremost a member of the WWE Universe.
ahh, I see :)
Does anyone seriously think Damien Sandow is gay? I’d be willing to conduct investigations if this is a genuine thing.
Also, because this was a pre-rec RAW, you could tell when they were dubbing in crowd noise. There is no way we were chanting for Sin bloody Cara. (NB – the “you can’t wrestle” thing was quite funny. It wasn’t a genuine “you suck! you can’t wrestle” chant – it was a reaction to his griping and moaning about wanting a contract. Also, everyone knows who Brad Maddox is and has done since he turned up on RAW in September. Everyone, that is, except WWE.com, who have been terrible at doing investigative journalism.)
Oh, Brandon…you had me at “buried under miles of dickface.”
My greatest hope is that the Fandangoo debut will go so well that they’ll let USA Guy actually happen on television.
Also, my favorite two Fandangoo adjectives were “Angelic” and “Naughty”, just because they SHOULD be a contradiction.
My theory is they made AJ less crazy because of the Senate race. Hopefully I’m proven right next week.Womens clothing store features a superb range of women’s clothing for sale, suitable for all occasions.
[www.dresslily.com]
Am I missing a joke or is everyone mis-spelling ‘Fandango’? It’s not ‘oo’. First thing I thought of was ‘Grim Fandango’, what a game that was.
The vignette listed it as “Fandagoo”, two Os.
Definitely only one ‘o’ – [www.youtube.com]
When the video aired on Raw, it was Fandangoo. People made fun of it, so by the time Smackdown rolled around (on Tuesday) they’d changed it to Fandango.
Saw Jack Swagger at a house show yesterday. He’s back from Mars.
He’s not back from Mars until he shows up on television!
Rewatched it – one ‘o’. It’s ‘Fandango’ as in the type of dance.
Watch the video on page 2.
Ahh it all makes sense now. Cheers.
On the repeat of Smackdown here in the UK tonight, it’s now “Fandango” – single O.
So hotels give anyone security footage of their customers walking down halls?
When the video aired on Raw, it was Fandangoo. maybe we can get something interesting at [www.dresslily.com] for embellished bra