
I don’t watch much reality TV, let alone any of the CBS blockbuster Survivor, but I’d been keeping my ear to the TV in the other room this season as my girlfriend watched, because as a rule, anything that involves Jeff Kent is usually outstanding. That’s not to say that I like the former San Francisco Giants second baseman. But he has built one of the greatest a-hole reputations, whether he deserved it or not.
Kent has been pretty irrelevant since retiring, and I simply assumed that he’d never be allowed anywhere near a broadcast booth, so I was a little surprised that CBS was willing to give him a spot on Survivor. However, it tickles my funny bone ever so that most or all of his opponents/castmates had no clue who he was, because if they had known, he would have been booted the first week.
Instead, Kent made it to the midseason point, and after he was voted off last night, he laid down one of the greatest sound bites of the year.
“You know what pisses me off? I think I’ve made about $60 million playing baseball, and I want this fricken’ million dollars in this game. And it’s not even a million bucks! It’s 600 grand by the time Obama takes it. I’m a game 7 World Series loser. I’ve played in the biggest games in the world and the worst games in the world, but this just sucks.”
And here’s the video so you can all break out your tiniest violins and play him the saddest songs you know.
Also, here is the much longer, probably more rational footage from the “Day After” segment. It’s 9 minutes, and I haven’t watched all of it yet, but I’m willing to bet there are some fantastic gems in there, too.


You can do this too! Just substitute Obama wherever you see the words “the government” and play along!
Depress your friends! Annoy colleagues! Turn off women! Beleaguer your opponents!
Jeff Cant? No way, pal. Jeff Kent.
We also would’ve accepted a complaint about “them damn revenuers!”
The best part of the season is when one of his tribe mates that recognized him went into this whole tirade about how baseball players weren’t real athletes. Watching him keep his mouth shut through the whole thing was fantastico.
I really regret not watching, but I would have been so pissed that he didn’t make it farther along.
That was fantastic. I was laughing so frickin hard.
It’s quite the accomplishment to be the biggest douche on a team with Barry Bonds.
F*ck Jeff Kent.
To the various people on social media complaining about a spoiler: It is 2012. Stop watching Survivor.
Bring back Matt!
Gee, I don’t know. It was nice watching Russell royally piss everyone off and him being dumbfounded that he got no votes. Twice! You think someone would have explained the concept of “endgame strategy” to him.
I had no idea that Jeff was an inflammatory character in his baseball days, and now his insistence on keeping his identity under wraps actually makes a bit of sense. The guy was awful at nearly every aspect of Survivor and he only made it this far because the other tribes were worse. I was talking to a coworker at DISH who was rooting for Kent and even he lost a lot of respect for the guy after this rant. I nearly missed the show last night, but thankfully my Hopper recorded it with Primetime Anytime. I love how my DISH DVR automatically records everything on during primetime on the four major networks and saves it for a week so I never miss anything. I am so glad that I caught it because it has been quite a while since we have had someone freak out like that at tribal council.