This is probably the greatest song ever recorded, courtesy of the phenomenally talented SHINING WIZADO, with a h/t to Zak. Please listen to it a hundred thousand times. Let’s get it to AT LEAST Charlie Bit My Finger’s views.
Tonight on the WWE Raw open discussion thread:
It’s official: Ryback’s movable feast will lead him to Hell in a Cell, where the ravenous Superstar will square off against CM Punk for the WWE Championship in one of the most hotly anticipated contests of the year. Until then, though, what will WWE’s fastest-rising star have in store for the embattled champion as their showdown draws nearer? Also, who will emerge as the No. 1 contenders for Team Hell No’s Tag Team Championships, and how will The Miz respond to his historic loss to Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston on WWE Main Event? Funny you should ask, because WWE.com has five things to look forward to tonight on Raw. (via WWE.com)
Your With Leather Five Point Preview:
1. Will John Cena suddenly remember that he’d been more or less begging for a title shot for four weeks, do take-backs on Ryback choice (since he’s the one who made it, not Vince or Punk) and turn the Hell In A Cell WWE Championship match into a triple threat like everyone in the goddamn world is assuming?
2. Will the finals of the Tag Team Championships number one contenders tournament actually happen, or is Rey Mysterio still stick at home with T-shirts Disease?
3. Will 3MB get a six-man tag team match on Raw, or will they just keep showing up to perform encores? Are there three babyfaces that low on the card? Will Team CoBro get a third? And while we’re asking the question, what’s your dream WWE trio, and what’s their name? Mine is Christopher Nowinski, Damien Sandow and Tugboat. I call them “College Scholarship”.
4. What young, not-nearly-televised-enough wrestler will challenge Antonio Cesaro this week? My money’s on Yoshi Tatsu.
5. kofi kingston
As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report. To nominate a comment for top 10 status, please reply to it with a +1.
Enjoy the show.
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I know this is just a pipe dream but I would really like to see the WWE unify the WWE and World Heavyweight titles. Same thing goes for the US and Intercontinental titles.
Shoot, anyone remember how big a deal it was when the Ultimate Warrior defeated Hulk Hogan and stood in the ring after the match holding the Intercontinental and Heavyweight belts? That needs to happen again.
really sorry if this was posted several dozen times, but I literally passed out after getting back from Raw, but didn’t Cena publicly ask AJ to go out with him like two weeks ago? Are they acting like that never happened?
No, Vicki actually specifically referenced that at one point.
This might be Brandon’s easiest column ever. Worst=Every moment of the GM angle, best=just about everything else.
I mean, TNA just did this angle about an affair that was so horrible that they just dropped it without explanation. Doesn’t anybody watch….oh right. Never mind.
This Team Hell No thing is such an enjoyable part of Raw, I can’t believe HHH hasn’t jammed himself into/
/TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAME
I have to say that ol’ Trips has done a pretty good job of staying in the back and being quiet lately.
It’s not hard to imagine Ryback’s face when he is constipated.
David Otunga should win all the championships.
Anyone weirded out by how ‘virginal’ John Cena must be kept? Eve kisses him to move up in the world, she’s a hoski. AJ goes on a date with him and OH NOES MUST PROTECT CENA’S IMAGE so she quits. Divas can be slutty but GOD FORFEND John Cena from having relations..
John Cena having relations was about the biggest blow to his good-guy image, so I understand why he’s kept Scott Pilgrim-ish (the movie).
Well, just got back from Raw, it was a blast. Look for me in the crowd scenes, I’m the fat guy wearing a t-shirt.
I saw you! Like…constantly.
The quick “WWE Version” of what happened on tonight’s Giants/Cardinals game.
SF Giants: *Point at World Series Sign* *FIREWORKS*
“WE’LL SEE YA NEXT WEEK”
ADIOS PELOTA, BUNSY!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
I wish I had a billion dollars just so I could have Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler wrestle in my living room for the rest of my life.
+1 for my hopes and dreams
+1 for the match being pretty much the reason I bought my first PPV (the upcoming HiaC) since 1998′s Halloween Havoc.
WWE, you are doing good things. please continue the streak by putting the belt on Ziggler
Oh man, I missed the chance to hang with Bateman? Stupid PST.
Yeah I’m really regretting my choice to watch the debate, I missed almost all of the Batemanny goodness.
Hi, everyone! I apologize if this has already been posted, but it’s tough to scroll through 2500 comments. I just wanted to post the link to another song that shining wizado did about our boy D-Bry. I just love it so much. [www.youtube.com]
are you serious, bro
GOD DAMNIT WRONG LINK I’M SORRY
Here it is! [www.youtube.com]
He might’ve meant [www.youtube.com] (I am your resident Super Blizzard referral, dibs. @zakariah. claimed.)
Thanks, Umenyiora. I was copy/pasting both links to friends of mine who share a similar love of Am-Drag and got all confused :(
Understandable. No problem.
Based on Drew Mac’s headwear tonight, and Slater’s last week, we better get a movie montage of 3MB trying on different hats at various stores, set to Crue’s “Kickstart my heart”
ANDREW, TO THE MILLINER, POST HASTE, WE MUST ACQUIRE NEW CHAPEAUS UPON THE HOUR!
Behind, but John Cena its not business friends its business shows.
On WWE’s website, they have an ad telling you to buy tickets for Wrestlemania 29 with a picture of Cena (naturally), the Rock (I guess) and Lesnar…wait? WASN’T HE SUPPOSED TO HAVE LEFT?!? My reality is no more!
Transcript of AJ and Cena’s business dinner:
Cena: “Anything planned for Raw this week?”
AJ: “Nope! Hopefully four people will argue in the ring at some point, and take care of the main event. Either that or someone will say the word crazy while talking to me and I’ll make them fight Ryback or Kane or someone fat… Tensai.”
Cena: “Sounds great!”
AJ: “You?”
Cena: “I’m really into the idea of a Punk/Ryback match, so I’ll yell at Punk and hopefully wear him down to the point where he’ll agree to it. Also, have you seen Cesaro’s nipples? They need to be addressed. Why are you holding your head askew like that?”
AJ: “Neck cramp. I work with a lot of tall people and spend 90% of my time look upward.”
Cena: “Rise above cancer.”
AJ: “Always.”
all of the pluses one
+Nailed it
I bet he gave her the ol’ 5 knuckle shuffle, if you know what I’m sayin’.
He fingerblasted her.
At some point, Cena would have told the waitstaff “Some of you may hate me, some may love me, but I’m just glad that APPLEBEES CARES!”
Cena to AJ: “THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!!!” *points at crotch*
Cena:I hate this food, but it’s okay because some people love it. And we all paid our HARD EARNED MONEY to be here, so nothing needs to be addressed.
+1
GILLBERG!!!
catching up on the stuff I missed during the debate: did Cena take AJ behind a middle school and get her pregnant or something?
Nah, just a THIS BUSINESS DINNER
Oh I see. Sounds really boring. Probably happened at an Applebees.
This story is really confusing, because I was pretty sure Vickie was having adventurous, mature sex with almost every young blonde male on the roster.
But that was PRIOR to her being named regional vice director of talent and match makery.
+1 for this whole conversation. This, plus bateman requesting dates make me jealous I’m not a LeatherLady.
I’mkind of bummed out that this is the last Monday I’ll be able to do is until December.
Thanks for making it fun, gang.
Ok so that just happened but I really wish the AJ/Cena thing never occurred…
Does Bateman wanting to post with us again mean he’s turning into a geek or we’re turning into cool guys?
We’re the coolest of the geeks.
*twilight zone music*
we’re better at being stars than the locker room is
who says theres not cool geeks
Regardless, I’ll take it.
Storylines I’ve seen presented on here > WWE ’12 > Actual WWE storylines > TNA
I think it just means he’s hurt
I’m gonna go for us becoming cool guys.
We should all get fedoras and sunglasses we are so cool.
Ron – we need to get different hats so we can be like 3MB.
+1 for Freaks & Geeks
There can’t be any possible end to the Punk-Ryback match that doesn’t involve Lesnar, right? Either he lays out a dominant Ryback to help Punk retain, or he turns on Heyman for “replacing” him with Punk, and while Ryback chases Lesnar away Punk wins with a roll-up? Personally, I see no way Ryback walks out with the belt on Sunday. Still leaning towards Cena over Punk at Survivor Series, Rock over Cena at Rumble, Punk wins Rumble to set up Punk-Rock at WrestleMania.
BIG ZEKE > LESNAR
I BET THEY’VE BEEN ON THE PHONE TO GOLDBERG
Ryback gets distracted by Jared from Subway.
I’m thinking a No Contest Clusterf*** that will save face with Ryback, keep the belt on CM Punk and we’ll be too confused to complain about it.
^^ That’s where I’m laying my hat, too. Some kind of “spectacle that involves the cell being destroyed or some shit that ends the match with Ryback still undefeated and Punk still holding the belt.
Oh, yeah, I wanted to make sure to tell all y’all…
Comedy Central showed Friday After Next early Saturday morning. I wasn’t staying up late to watch it, but I totally DVR’d it.
Suck it, USA Network!
Did anyone else notice what Punk coughed up right before the fade to black? Because it was large and really freaked me out.
It was the Snitch. I think he was practicing for HIAC. Calling it now.
I enjoyed that response a little too much.
So did D-Bates just randomly hang out with us for the whole of Raw? That is the greatest thing ever.
no social media ambassador for him to harass on twitter.
Ohhh…
Verified
I’m out bros (I assume there are no chicks here.) thanks for having me. PPV party my place Sunday. Page me.
i am a lady. papermint is a lady, booksavvy is a lady, (doctor) MrsTHESTINGER is a lady
U-S-A
there are chicks!! and even a ham sometimes
I’M A MAN WITH A LADY’S NAME. BYE BATEMAN.
Thanks for stopping by!
i am a lady, and i am the person brandon name dropped in the podcast you were on. i lost my gourd like whoa.
Verified
Lets mate then.
TWEET FEST
Verified
Date.
I think you mean, “Lets business dinner then.”
+ “lets mate then”
I AM POWERLESS TO RESIST THE BATEMAN CHARM
If you want to come back every week, that is OK by me
*each and every week
Hey Derrick, could you tell Tensai I love him? He doesn’t know me or anything and I totally don’t love him, it just looks like he could use the pick-me-up.
Verified
Swing by when I can. Sometimes it’s nice to talk wrestling with actual wrestling fans. The ones that aren’t completely jaded and nonsensical at least.
“Tensai, your Japanese wrestler gig is working… said a guy named ‘The Family Crippler Crossface’”.
Do you think Bateman is up for a group business dinner?
HE BETTER BE!
+1 to Bateman trying to procreate with W/L commenters.
We’ve all done it!
I think that punk just spit out in physical form the disbelief that he’s actually having to defend against Ryback.
CHEESE ME MORE!
A two-story house, WITH A BASEMENT! Bless you, JR.
Heyman screaming “Come on we gotta go!” at the end=awesome.
hopefully HIAC is just… Punks walks in, kicks Ryback in nuts, pins, leaves, end ppv at 10:36
Did Heyman just say “What are we gunna do?” haha
Alright I’m off to wake my wife up and see if she wants to have a business meeting
business dinner damnit, haha
+1
did punk just cough up a paint chip?
That was a great power bomb.
That Powerbombs was neat.
That powerbomb was awesome
Goddamn that delicious subway catering table! It made Ryback late…
A MERCILESS EMISSARY OF PAIN!!!
Match is over lumberjacks and Kofi you and Punk are good friends in real life c’mon son
I marked out for that powerbomb
is the audience the best place to run
Well, we know Punk can beat up the people in the audience, so it is probably safer.
I want to see Ziggler sell that Ryback move.
The powerbomb.
My brain went dead somewhere around the top of the hour and I literally could not remember the word powerbomb.
It’s been a looooooooooooong weekend and Monday.
this is a nice way at least of showing us that Ryback has other moves
Be a STAR
RYBACK IS SO TOUGH ATTACKING THE GUY WHO JUST HAD A 20 MINUTE MATCH AGAINST THE WORLD CHAMPION
BA STARBACK
That hungry guy is back again!! Somebody get him a sandwich or something!!!!
This would be a perfect opportunity for Jared to show up with some Subway.
Shoot…that’s an old Macho Man quip from way back in the day!
If Sheamus took any longer to set up that cloverleaf finisher you might as well just call him Christian.
It’s the first time punk has ever experienced the Irish curse. Unless you count his dad taking a case of Old Style up to the shower after work.
Mason Ryan has less emotion in his face than Sin Cara.