Piper's Pit. Nobody? Nobody?

Tonight’s preview for WWE Raw via WWE.com, which I’m surprised wasn’t in 50 MOST PREVIEWABLE WORDS IN IN WWE HISTORY:

With an injured John Cena vehemently declaring he will be at Hell in a Cell, and WWE Champion CM Punk now finding himself in Ryback’s sights, what will happen on Monday’s Raw? Here are five key things to look for as the month of October rolls in with Raw episode 1,010. (via WWE.com)

First of all, have we seriously only had 10 3-hour episodes? Anyway,

1. Now that Ryback has CM Punk in his sights, he’ll begin the WWE main event push, which is “losing to everybody he wrestles for the next two years”.

2. John Cena will be made fun of for wearing pink, but he’s rising above CANCER, so he’ll stand up to aggressive bullies like Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow and CM Punk. Those guys have only ever worn blue, which means “boys”.

3. Intercontinental Champion The Miz will go one-on-one with Justin Roberts in a non-title match. Roberts will win in two minutes with a neckbreaker. Mike Chioda will cash in Money in the Bank and also win a non-title match.

4. Sheamus faces Alberto Del Rio in a rematch of the last 7 pay-per-views, but this match has a special stipulation: if Del Rio loses, he and Ricardo Rodriguez have to dress up as the two halves of a burro for Halloween. If Sheamus loses, Del Rio and Rodriguez have to dress up like that anyway.

5. Commercials for that CM Punk DVD, which probably don’t call him a coward over and over.

Remember, the ten funniest, most interesting or insightful comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread will be included in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report. To nominate a comment for top 10 consideration, please reply to it with a +1.

So, what’s happening tonight?