To the untrained eye, soccer is a sport where people with no fight training or impulse control hang out and kick a ball around until one of them overreact and everybody starts brawling. I’m a soccer layman, so if I get any of this wrong, please don’t knock me to the ground or try to stomp my head.
In a U-13 (The Widowmaker!) match between Bahia and Vitoria, Bahia’s goalkeeper kinda-sorta punches a Vitoria strike in the back, so the striker sells it like he’s caught a knee to the chest from Anderson Silva. In retaliation, Bahia takes a Vitoria player to the ground and everyone tries to kick him in the face. Seems totally reasonable! From there, the fight escalates into a team versus team affair with everyone running in from off-screen to jump and kick indiscriminately. One guy gets a full-on Power Rangers jump kick to the back and ignores it in favor of running forward and kicking a different guy.
If none of this is soccer and I’ve misidentified a capoeira video, I apologize. That said, it’d be pretty awesome if other sports would handle flopping like this. Next time Blake Griffin goes down holding his eye, everyone on the court should get to boot him in the dome.
As an added bonus (so you don’t think Americans don’t play soccer exactly like this), here’s a clip of a Utah high school student pulling off a Million Dollar Man knee-lift during a soccer game.
[via BigLeadSports]


It’s like they forgot that they can use their hands to fight (except the goalkeeper.)
That kneelift was well executed, always wait till the ball goes out of bounds, everyone is watching the ball…..
Would have also accepted “Mr. Wrestling II”.
Man… the beautiful game, huh? So intricate and graceful. Really goes to show why the rest of the world exalts this superlative sport.
All the excitement of cricket, with the added drama of a prison riot.
♪OPEN WIDE FOR SOME SOC-*GETS KICKED*……
So many flying feet of fury!!