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The Miami Heat Don’t Need A Fifth Starter And The Best Of The 2012 NBA Media Day


Yesterday marked the first meaningless burp of the 2012-13 NBA season, as players casually took their time arriving to their respective arenas to be prepped for clichés and generic positive statements about their chances this year, as part of the 2012 NBA Media Day. Basically, it’s a glorified way for teams to drum up last second season ticket sales and David Stern to remind Major League Baseball that it only has a few weeks left before a preseason NBA game will outdraw the World Series.

In some cases, though, there is some honest-to-Cthulhu excitement, as teams like the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers introduced their newest players, while the Brooklyn Nets reminded everyone that HEY, WE HAVE NEW UNIFORMS NOW! COME LOOK AT OUR NEW UNIFORMS! THEY’RE NEW! For the Heat, the buzz was the addition of Ray Allen, whose departure from Boston is viewed as treason by many Celtics fans and players, and the Lakers, of course, introduced Dwight Howard and Steve Nash. Also, EVERYONE LOOK AT BROOKLYN’S NEW UNIFORMS! THEY WERE DESIGNED BY JAY-Z!

But all of the teams had their PR and social media people on full alert yesterday, as they Tweeted and Facebooked pictures of the NBA’s best and brightest awkwardly hamming it up for the local media. Some teams had a lot of fun, while some teams, well, you can’t expect the Charlotte Bobcats to pretend like they were at Disney. After the jump, I’ve gathered the best of the NBA’s Media Day so you can pretend like you were there for every team.

Los Angeles Lakers

I hope Kobe Bryant calls Dwight Howard "Not Shaq" for fun this season.

Portland Trail Blazers

"Haha, balloons. Get it?"

Charlotte Bobcats

"So would the Trade Machine accept that?"

Milwaukee Bucks

Kudos to the Bucks PR team for combining all of the boring pictures into one.

Chicago Bulls

All four of these guys are considered the captains for the Bulls. How does that even work? Is one of them a Super Captain?

Cleveland Cavaliers

Yup, Cleveland.

Boston Celtics

Boston players actually had a quick Media Day so they could fly to Turkey for an exhibition game. That's about 15 hours of complaining about Ray Allen.

Los Angeles Clippers

"I don't know, like 300 pounds per day without vegetables."

Memphis Grizzlies

Whoa, enough with the tough questions, you guys!

Atlanta Hawks

This wins the most adorable picture from Media Day.

New Orleans Hornets

It took every ounce of will power I have to not to photoshop that sign to read: "HORNY". What can I say? I'm an adult.

Utah Jazz

That's not a serious face, he's actually asleep.

Sacramento Kings

Not pictured: Everyone laughing and pointing.

New York Knicks

Iman Shumpert's hair wins everything else.

Orlando Magic

It was this or Arron Afflalo. You're welcome.

Dallas Mavericks

Haha, Shawn Marion is such a jokester! Get him a reality show already.

Brooklyn Nets

"Hey Brook, how do you feel about the team trying desperately to trade you for months before pretending that they wanted to keep you all along?"

"Great. Feels great."

Denver Nuggets

I really like the Nuggets' new alternate jerseys. No joke. The faux hawk? Not as much.

Indiana Pacers

"And that's the giraffe's penis."

Detroit Pistons

Someone hug the poor guy already.

Toronto Raptors

Jose Calderon spends his time waiting to be traded by taking pictures of his stinky ass feet.

Houston Rockets

Apparently the Rockets' "New Era" comes without a stable camera.

Philadelphia 76ers

As a Magic fan, I can't even begin to tell you how happy this picture makes me.

San Antonio Spurs

What's Tony looking at? Hot ass most likely.

Phoenix Suns

If I were a Suns blogger, the rest of my year would be set with this picture and photoshop.

Oklahoma City Thunder

"Can you believe Harden said he is glad the league is cracking down on flopping?"

Minnesota Timberwolves

The T-Wolves apparently promote their growing group of foreign players as "The Internationals", so remember the next time that you're laid off from your job as an NBA point guard.

Golden State Warriors

Very well done, Warriors.

Washington Wizards

I like John Wall's shoes. That is all.

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