
As if it isn’t already hard enough being a college student, trying desperately to fit in among tens of thousands of peers while coping with the pressures of studying, self-esteem and just general survival away from our parents, it doesn’t help when Michael Fassbender shows up strutting his big ol’ dong around campus. But that’s apparently what happened on Saturday, as the gentleman we lovingly refer to as Michael F. Assbender at FilmDrunk and, much more importantly, Natalie Portman showed up at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium to film part of their “Untitled Terrence Malick Project”.
So what’s this sucker about that it was so worth causing a stir during the incredible 56-50 slugfest victory that the Texas Longhorns pulled out over the Baylor Bears?
Two intersecting love triangles. Obsession and betrayal set against the music scene in Austin, Texas.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snores, farts, wakes up* Sounds awesome. But if you are a male Texas student who was threatened by Fassbender’s presence the gravitational pull of his Longhorn, just know that it could have been much worse. Ryan Gosling’s in this film, too. And I don’t think that UT has a flood evacuation plan.
Video and some fan shots after the jump. Oh, and maybe practice a little harder on defense this week, Baylor. Yeesh.
See? Even the production crew was too intimidated by Fassbender to even show his name on the screen. And a lot of people are suggesting that Portman may have received breast augmentation surgery, but she went to Harvard – the Stansbury of the East – and I don’t think intellectual types like her are much into that. I’m gonna chalk this one up to recent mommy meat.


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Dat Feel When you realize you will probably never meet Natalie Portman.
I have met her once, in an elevator. She seemed nice. I on the other hand, seemed like a mouth-breathing stalker.
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I met her when I was 13, they were filming The Professional around the corner from where I lived at the time.
Leon is one of my favourite movies of all time ^_^ You’re so lucky! Did you meet anyone else from the film?
panzhu2, will W’ealthybar.c om help me meet Natalie Portman? If so I will sign up.
posting to say UPROXX should be sending me to games like this so I can have a chance encounter with Natalie Portman in a broken elevator and spend at least 20 minutes berating her for Where The Heart Is
She’s Mossad. She’d gouge out your eyeballs and make you eat them before you die.
I have a theory that Where the Heart Is and Anywhere But Here are actually the same movie that was released twice under two different names in a genius marketing maneuver.
Lester – I think you’re right.
Kungjitsu – this may be true; I saw her in Jerusalem once. I think she was there “attending Hebrew University” but I think everyone there knew she was really training with Mossad.
I just hope Fassbender’s dong ended all of that “Irish Curse” talk.
hu
Don’t worry Burnsy UT is located in Austin’s 100 yr flood zone.
I hope so. A Baby Goose panty blast is pretty extreme.
Well not to mention Austin is the Texas destination of “Alternative lifestyles”… we may be heading to 500 yr flood proportions.
I thought Texas sneaking out a win would be the best thing to happen on Saturday night, but seeing NP on TV and then hearing my wife say, “Damn, Natalie’s Titties look awesome. I think I need a boob job.” made Saturday night EPIC!
Them titties are looking goooot
Ummm God? Not questioning your divine plan, but why didn’t you have a sudden heat wave strike the stadium?
That jacket really needed to come off.
Two intersecting triangles… isn’t that a star of david?
Things just got sexy up in this matza.
(He said, using the only Jewish word he could think of.)
you had me at Stansbury of the East…
Must… concentrate… on… work…
hhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnggggggg
I like at 0:33 when Portman turns to look at Fassbender and he’s not there.
Fuck you, Natalie Portman. You are not a real person.