16. boring_as_heck

Stefan made his bones by finding the worst people on the Internet so who better to find the worst patchouli-scented assholes in Nevada?

17. JasonKirkSBN

Kirk is a pro at making fun of college football craziness, so making fun of hippie craziness should be right up his alley.

18. HateyMcLife

Hatey is another Deadspin OG who’s funnier than me so again, it’s all about wrecking his brain with psychotropic drugs.

19. iracane

Iracane lives in Jersey so we need to expand his horizons. If you know a better way of doing that than Burning Man let me know.

20. Mobute

Mobute’s pwning Republicans game is unmatched, so his pwning Burning Man game should be the same.

21. MrButterChicken

Butter Chicken’s an under the radar fantastic tweeter. A tweeter’s tweeter, if you will. So at Burning Man he’d be the one making all the sly comments about the idiots tripping balls in front of us.

22. Andy_Staples

Staples will be crucial for manning the grill when we’re out in the desert. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t have a sense of humor about calling anything other than slow-cooking meat “barbecue.” Thankfully he has a sense of humor about everything else.

23. TreyKirby

He took his Christian name and put “taco” in the middle of it so you know he’s alright.

24. drewmagary

Magary gets on here because he’s got 3 kids and he’ll go fucking insane if he gets to go to Burning Man. Like, we’d find him pantsless with a bunch of biker chicks at 8 am and he’ll have no idea how he got there. Can’t wait.

25. edsbs

Spencer would start out as the voice of reason in our Burning Man tent but in the end he’ll be doing classy opiates nonstop and talking about Taiwan.