Saturday’s college football action presumably left very few people wanting more, because I can’t remember a day that was filled with so many exciting games and delightful upsets. For starters, I assume that everyone was on the edge of their seats for the incredible UCF win over FIU, because I was at that game, which immediately made it the most star-studded game in college football history. And I yelled things at Mario Cristobal, because he’s a moron who should have taken the Rutgers job and I guarantee you that he’s kicking himself every morning over his decision to turn that job down because he was allegedly insulted at the Scarlet Knights’ lowball offer. But I digress.
My favorite game of the day was the Florida Gators 37-20 victory over the Tennessee Volunteers, which leads us to this new feature – “Faces of Misery”. Now, before the hate mail and mean comments start pouring in, please know that I have nothing against Tennessee. Well, that’s not entirely true. I do hold a grudge against the Volunteers because they gave Lane Kiffin money to be a head coach, even though he has never done anything to deserve it, unless you count being conceived by a great NFL defensive coordinator. I hate Kiffin a lot, so this is worth noting. In fact, if USC had lost at home, we'd be having a completely different kind of conversation right now.
But I say this was my favorite game, because it provided us with a ton of great Faces of Misery, and as a fan of a perpetually underachieving college football team, I’ve made plenty of miserable faces myself. I also don’t like basking in a Gators victory, but it’s a jorts world and I’m just living in it. So enjoy the misery of Tennessee fans this week, and feel free to suggest upcoming games that you’d like to see us make fun of, because I plan on doing this as much as possible, because laughing at other people’s misfortunes is what makes America so great.
(All screen caps provided by my good friend, Paradigm Shift, who runs Throw the Flag, and you should follow him on Twitter.)
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LSU vs Auburn…gonna be some beautifully sad Auburn faces Saturday. Also, UGA vs Vandy…mainly James Franklin’s face when Todd Grantham punches him this year.
Considering Auburn had to go to overtime to beat a Sun Belt team, I think LSU wins by 80 and holds Auburn to negative total yardage.
These reaction shots are basically why I watch college football. The Schadenfreude is so good; nothing says misery like a drunk 20 yr old. Except for maybe Ryan Williams’ face yesterday when he fumbled against the Patriots. Looked like his dog got run over. So funny.
Again, imagine if USC lost at home. I’d be IN HEAVEN.
Mmm, that’s some mighty fine Southern belle sorrow schadenfreude right there. This still wasn’t as tasty as the Patriots schadenfreude yesterday. Nothing like seeing overweight men covered in red and blue face paint crying that just makes my heart grow three sizes.
Methinks we need a little Footballfreude Fairy here!
The best ever in recorded history were the TCU fans when RGIII peckerslapped them last year.
HOW DARE YOU!
Why is the woman in the lower right hand corner of picture 3 smiling?
Look at that hoss she’s sitting with, wouldn’t you be smiling?
I spent summers in Tennessee. There are probably people who killed themselves over this, or killed somebody else.
The fine people of Tennessee fought hard for the right to carry firearms into bars, at least in the counties where booze is legal because alcohol is dangerous.
The UT Coed talent pool has dropped off a fuckin’ cliff.
As a PAC-12 guy stuck living in the armpit of the SEC, I’m both amused and gratified at the sadness of these co-eds. The only thing better, as you say, would be tears rolling off the ample busoms of USC Song Girls. Maybe next week?
You can’t spell Citrus Bowl with out “U T”.
Steve Spurrier, god of trolling.
Hit me or @MayorBurnsy up if you see a Face of Misery that we need to incorporate.