
Dwight Howard said over and over that he didn’t want to play for the Los Angeles Lakers. Even after he was traded to L.A., he still openly stated that he wanted to be in Brooklyn, playing for the Nets. And while he’ll likely never openly admit that his ties to Brooklyn (allegedly) developed because it meant jobs with Jay-Z and ESPN for his friends, and that Adidas was going to pay him more than Derrick Rose money to be the face of New York’s newer, cooler franchise, he’ll still get more than he ever hoped for with the Lakers.
People have already mostly forgotten that Howard made LeBron James look like Mother Theresa in the way he handled his departure from the Orlando Magic. After all, Orlando is a one-horse town that really only offers a star like Howard the convenience of no state income tax, which is why he’s keeping his home in Central Florida, despite purchasing a $20 million mansion in California. But we’re forgetting what a selfish a-hole child he behaved like, because Howard has unlimited PR tools at his disposal. First up, Ellen.
Howard showed up on Ellen yesterday to teach America’s most lovable daytime host how to Dougie, because that’s something that people are really still talking about. Also, he journeyed back into relevance by showing off his Gangnam Style skills. All in all, Dwight Howard is a great guy and everyone loves him.
In other Howard news, in order to prove that ESPN was right in naming him one of the 5 best current NBA players – arguable but accurate – Howard is finally working on his post game, which is something that he refused to do in Orlando, because it cut into his planking time. But if I’m a Lakers fan, I’m excited about this because it could mean that he’s developing into the beast that he should be. Just don’t get your hopes up, that’s all.
(Banner via, H/T to Dime Magazine)


I want to openly wish that Dwight Howard never wins a championship. But last guy I did that to won one in the next two seasons. So…GO D12!!!
It’s an inevitability. What’s worse is that if we cheer against Dwight, we’re cheering for the Heat. The only sweet justice would be the Nets beating the Lakers in the Finals.
Well, there’s always a bright side to things: I have to pray to Jesus, Buddha, Joseph Smith, and Lord Xenu ever day that my favorite team’s owner doesn’t rehire Isiah Thomas. But hey, I’ve heard we’re nearing a deal for another 38 year old former star!
Here’s to his first dunk tearing every ligament in his ACL. Screw him and his shit eating grin.
I was about to mention how I felt this site didn’t have enough ‘Midnight Marauders’ references.
Kobe, Nash and Howard vs. Lebron, Wade and Bosh?
Bosh really, really seems like the odd man out there.
Also, you know that clip of him working on his post game was a “best of” reel, yeah? Nobody gets to see the 11347 attempts it took Howard to make that handful of baskets.
Sorry, Burnsy. GO LAKERS!!
I seriously want to hug Burnsy if he quotes ATCQ every day.