In case you’d forgotten that Alabama sports fans still think “you are gay” is the best possible insult for rival teams, feast your proud, heterosexual eyes on these Spanish Fort High School students and their “Purple? Man, that’s GAY” sign. Hold on, the reason for this is really complex and I don’t want to lose you — rival school Daphne wears purple uniforms, which makes them homeauxs. Or whatever.
If that wasn’t enough, ESPN’s broadcast of the Spanish Fort/Daphne game also featured a giant DAPHNE, ISN’T THAT A GIRL’S NAME banner, cementing the idea that Daphne High School is full of not only gays, but gay ladies. As Jason at Sportress Of Blogitude points out, the worst part isn’t the rampant, regressive homophobia or the casual misogyny of rednecks, it’s that somebody played a football team named “Daphne” and didn’t Scooby-Doo Joke the shit out of them.
Maybe Scooby-Doo is too dated of a reference. If so, and if you’re gonna be a gay-bashing moron anyway, at least start blasting “Single Ladies” and pull one of these routines:
Fun fact: That show is 100% better in a foreign language.
Also, hey Alabama, I know you hear this all the time, but Jesus, you should be ashamed of yourself.
[long way around via Deadspin]
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Of the three states I’ve lived in, Alabama is the worst. Hooray Texas and Mississippi!
I’ve lived in 8 states, and Alabama is the worst. Hooray Texas, Virginia, North Carolina, West Virginia, Maryland, Ohio and Florida!
Well, it’s closing in on my 9 years in Alabama, so it’s time for me to move east again. Where will Georgia rank? Probably better than Alabama.
To be fair to Alabama, it also contains a high school that isn’t afraid to have a girl’s name and wear purple.
Homophobic? Jesus, people. Lighten the f*** up.
Better yet, lighten up so much you stop thinking dumb shit like “purple is a gay color” or “women aren’t as good as men”.
Brandon, although the sign was distasteful, especially for a national broadcast, your article here is a disgrace to journalism. You simply feed off of old prejudices that, somehow, because some high school students held up a less than mildly offensive sign that the whole state is tarnished. You are absolutely the leftist politically-correct media everybody loves to hate. So congratulations, you’ve reached the height of your career. Punk.
BS Punk?…I’m down with that
wait, that didn’t…..blast!
I am pretty obviously not a “journalist” on this comedy sports blog, and me making jokes about you guys being regressive assholes is not a “leftist politically-correct” anything. Move away from Alabama.
I’m not sure Brandon is “being politically correct” as much as he’s “not being a total asshole.”
But that’s cool, since you’ve got that one covered. “Stop pickin’ on our kids and their ‘fags is funny’ signs!”
And honestly, Alabama is tarnished for being fucking Alabama. If you’re sick of being mocked by the rest of the union, you can either stop being a collection of inbred fucknuts, or you can just secede already.
Seriously, Alabama only repealed its law against interracial marriage in 2000.
45% of Alabamans believe Obama is a Muslim too.
Blame the stupidity on the kids, but it’s pretty clear they’re learning it from what passes for adults in that state.
And yeah, I’ve spent plenty of time in Alabama. I speak from experience.
True story, “political correctness” is a term invented by Rush Limbaugh because he was mad that he couldn’t slur minorities, women and gays without people getting mad at him!
TH, not to lose the thread too badly, but you may want to look at the history of things before you blindly take seriously everything Slate has to say.
The term Political Correctness has been around for a couple hundred years. It didn’t mean then what it does now, but even its current usage is over 40 years old.
So unless Limbaugh is some mystical immortal or a time traveler, and not just a blowhard parody of the worst elements of a political and social movement, he couldn’t have had anything to do with that term’s invention.
Good talk.
Harvey, there’s only one thing on this page that’s a disgrace and it isn’t B’s article.
The glee football team should have been penalized for that play…not sure for what exactly…but there’s a 5 yrd penalty in there, somewhere! Also, Kurt sounds intimidating in a foreign language.
Definitely delay of game.
That should have been a delay of game and I’ll be damned if that kick shouldn’t have been blocked.
Lotta diversity in that picture, looks like a Dave Matthews Band concert.
I can’t decide which to take more umbrage at, the casual misogyny of rednecks or the casual regional bigotry of bloggers. Probably rednecks. Filthy Irish, working the fields with their pale skin, getting all red and shit. Consider my umbrage taken!
As much as Fuck Alabama, you gotta love the guy in the bottom right of the photo rockin’ the fuck out for, what I guess he assumes is, gay football.
It’s not “casual regional bigotry of bloggers” if you’ve lived there and experienced it. I have, as has Brandon. Fuck those people, and if you don’t think they’re in the clear majority in that state, you’re wrong.
Also purple is traditionally the color of royalty, so if Alabama regresses anymore, they might actually end up with a medieval king who will behead those folks for daring to mock his favorite color.
I don’t know, AudeSapere. That rule about sweeping generalizations seems to be selectively applied. Thank goodness, given that there are large populations of a-holes in every region. Best to limit it to select populations.
Apparently trolls from Alabama can’t figure out how to use the “reply” feature, either.
Easy there, Brandon. I was born in raised in Philadelphia. Row homes, stick ball, took a subway to college and all that. I’ve only wandered about 100 miles east since then. I assure you my allegiance is with the Union.
This is a great blog and you’re a consistently funny writer (as if you needed my validation). I may very well be the only one who finds these “Very Special Episodes” a tad insulting as a reader. The offenses and offenders are pretty predictable: white hetero males being insensitive toward non-white or non-hetero males. The last permitted slur in America: rednecks. So much of the humor on UPROXX is smart, edgy and sometimes thought-provoking, and then the occasional Very Special Episode is shoehorned in and it seems forced.
I should just read and keep my mouth shut.
Again, we’ve got a “reply” thing.
But anyway, would it help if I told you I was born in southern Virginia, have relatives in the Klan and have built a pretty great base of reasoning for thinking entitled, uneducated white people are terrible? I’m not doing it to support non-whites or whatever, I’m doing it to point out how stupid stupid people are. The modus operandi of the blog is “write about stupid people as it relates to sports”.
Also, I currently live in the middle of freaking Texas. I don’t have a “regional bigotry”. I don’t even have a region.
I am here to set the record straight. I am a student at Spanish Fort HS who moved to the area this year. I came into the area with all the same biases as many of the commenters (and there writer) here. As an openly pansexual liberal, I thought that I would be harassed and shunned. Instead, I’ve been welcomed into a progressive and open school, one of the best in Alabama, which is on-par with the liberal school I was at before. The small group that held up the sign were stopped by classmates and administration in minutes after unveiling it, and since it was put up they’ve received nothing but anger from our student body. We know that it will re-affirm stereotypes of Alabama, but I’m here to tell you that Spanish Fort is not the stereotype of Alabama. Part of the Eastern Shore of Mobile Bay, a vibrant musical and artistic community of all creeds and colors, and is NOT as full of racists and homophobes as we’re made out to be.
Yes, other parts of Alabama are very socially conservative, as are parts in other states, but casting the people and the students of Spanish Fort as adhering to that stereotype based on the actions of just four or five students is disgusting and whoever published or promoted such a heinous and hurtful article should be ashamed. This is hurting our school and hurting our students and administration, one of the greatest schools in the state.
You guys can drop in here leaving notes about how I’m writing “heinous and hurtful articles” or whatever, but at the end of the day I’m not the guys on TV with the big “you’re gay” banner at a football game. Take these big paragraphs to those guys.
The fuck is a pan-sexual? Is that the new term for “bisexual”?
Pansexual = Can be attracted to any combination of gender identity and biological sex, basically.
I suppose what’s trying to be said all around is this; Of course not everyone in Alabama is a racist, homophobic asshole. But the ratio of asshole/Average nice guy is far closer than most other states.
+1, even if that’s not a thing to do on this post.
As an Arkansan, I hear my home state called racist and homophobic pretty often. There’s a good reason for that–a lot of racists and homophobes live here. Fortunately, I’m neither. So, when someone mocks Arkansas for having a large number of hate-filled rednecks, I don’t take offense. I do, however, feel more than a little sad for the ignorant folks who give my state its unfortunate reputation.
I’m sorry to hear that white, conservative, bigoted first world people are being oppressed again.
As Fry says: “The less fortunate get all the breaks!”
And all the enlightened hipsters nod solemnly in approval.
Luckily you don’t have to be on the path to enlightenment or a hipster (which is, what, some sort of thing I’m supposed to hate? I am from Ireland and what is this?) to not be so utterly self centered to see a group of people engage in misogynistic and homophobic actions and think how about hurt you are when people don’t like it.
To be fair, those jerseys were pretty gay.
FYI Brandon….you may want to check the Reply thing.You can’t reply to a reply. At least not on my computer.
Who cares is just to scare the other team dadada
WHO CARES
people who are routinely victimized by homophobes and creeps from Alabama, mostly.