Tonight’s Raw preview, which could’ve just been “what will happen guy” with a big picture of a question mark with Triple H chopping crotch over it.
As summer winds down, WWE finds itself facing more questions than ever before. What, exactly, is WWE Champion CM Punk planning next following his controversial attack of Jerry “The King” Lawler last Monday on Raw? Will he, in fact, take up on John Cena’s offer for a title match at Night of Champions in Cena’s hometown of Boston? And what will Triple H have to say when the vanquished King of Kings makes his first public appearance since losing to Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam? (via WWE.com)
More importantly,
1. Will THE ONE MAN BAND, BABAY show up again, finally?
2. Will Damien Sandow continue his path to enlightenment, assuming Brodus Clay thinks “jumping a guy after the match, splashing him and dancing over his dead body with a bunch of kids” constitutes being five-by-five?
3. Will Brandon not just turn on NHL 12 while Triple H is talking and pretend hockey season’s going to happen?
Don’t forget, I’m picking the 10 best comments from tonight’s WWE Raw open discussion thread and shoehorning them into tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column. If you see a comment you’d like to nominate for top 10 status, please reply to it with a +1. Also (and this is important), if you participate at all in tonight’s discussion, please click the like button and share the thread on Twitter. The more voices we have in here, the better.
So, Raw. Do you realize “Triple H”?
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/smt2du.jpg-180x170.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Collllllllllege-World-Series-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/aj-lee-payback-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/payback-180x180.png)
Oh so now Ryback beats up every opponent twice. I hope Stan Stansky and Arthur Rosenberg are next…
The regional talent’s names/promos might be the thing I miss most about The Ryback moving up to facing active roster competition.
Can we get a 10-bell salute for Rutherford PS Hayes as well?
I met you, like, 20 years ago, and this is crazy, but I love all you guys, so goodbye, maybe?
If Kane’s monologue DOESN’T get a best, i’ll be amazed
Since Shawn got HBK appreciation night, does that mean we are in for HHH appreciation month? Is smackdown going to be one long video package of HHH’s greatest moments? If so, they may need to replay it a couple times.
Wait til they unveil the statue of Hunter at MSG. I hear the nose alone cost them a cool $4 million in bronze.
@Rorschach80- did you mean to write “bronzer?”
@rorshach80: There will be no such thing in front of my beloved arena.
Good thing they never made a Jerry Lawler statue before 1993 because they’d probably have to take it down.
Also wondering: What the hell is the point of trying to take a once white-hot babyface act like Punk’s and turning it heel? Is it all just so that Punk doesn’t overshadow St. John Cena? I mean, half the crowd fucking HATES Cena right now, so what does it accomplish (other than killing what’s left of ANY heat Punk has) by trying to turn him and pitting him against Cena?
I haven’t read through all the comments so maybe this was mentioned but I, personally, have no problem with them making Punk a heel but, at the very least, make him an awesome heel. It’s like the WWE writers can’t even figure out how to do that. So, here guys, let me help you out:
1. You put Punk in a cage match with Lawler in Lawler’s home-town of Memphis.
2. The moment the cage locks it’s 100% Punk destroying Lawler with periodic breaks for Punk to insult Lawler, Memphis, the fans, Cena and whoever else he feels like before resuming his completely one-sided beating of Lawler. Lawler should have had ZERO offense and, at the end, Lawler should have been bleeding profusely. And Punk should have been laughing and mocking him relentlessly.
3. Have Cena run down and yell RAISE THE CAGE!! (because the possibility of climbing over it is obviously beyond Cena’s grasp – though I am fairly certain he could have Super Cena’d up and just flown over it) and then, while the cage is rising and Cena goes to slide under it, you have Punk jump on to the cage and you fix it (like the exploding ring with Lesnar and Show) so that the cage drops on Cena and absolutely fucks him up. Boom. Punk is the greatest heel of all time.
And that’s how you build for the next PPV.
You know, tonight’s RAW really did make me wonder, in a morbid way….what are they gonna do when HHH dies? Dedicate EVERY show that month to him, and rename that month’s PPV “NIGHT OF HUNTER” or something? I mean, how the fuck do you top the self-masturbatory bullshit that HHH pulled just for “retiring…maybe” tonight? If I was a first time watcher, had just tuned in in the middle or something, from all the Owen-voicing and video packages, I would have thought the man DID die. Jesus.
Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernies?
That.
Dandycorn: That would not surprise me one bit, coming from the McMahons. In fact, I can hear Vince now: “I’ve finally found a use for that Daniel Bryan! Strap ol’ Zombie H to his back. Daniel Bryan, you will now be given the proud task of literally carrying my son in law to five star matches, for which he will get all the credit! It’s brilliant!”
Daniel Bryan: “Wow. How is this different from when Hunter was alive again? A more talented worker carrying his ass to a five star match while he stinks up the arena? Sounds pretty familiar to me…..
Vince: “What was that?”
Byran: “Nothing sir! Time to play the Game!”
Vince: “Damn RIGHT! HHH is FOREVER!”
You’re assuming 1) that HHH will die and 2) that Raw will still be on then.
It helps a lot to have a support group like this, but I’ve actually enjoyed most of the show these last couple weeks, air of overall PoocHHHie-ness and Be A Starpidity aside.
I am disappointed that the crowd tonight encourage HHH’s auto-fellatio theater. I have the feeling that if THIS crowd would have shat on it, he might have actually considered maybe for sixty seconds possibly not coming back. But alas….
I’m watching the CM Hardy video on YouTube. 2 observations:
1. With painted face, Punk looks so much like Eric Draven.
2. Best Mad Crowd Faces ever.
Lawler’s the new JR in terms of getting heels over, only it just turns them into faces.
I can’t believe I missed a canon Katie Vick mention…
See… that was actually John Cena’s secret stash under the ring. Who the hell else keeps a padlock on a chain without a key?
That’s the great thing about wrestling rings. They always have the exact thing you need under them, exactly when you need it, no matter how improbable. If it was a tables match, there would have been like 30 tables under there. If it was an I quit match… I… I don’t know. But I’m sure there would’ve been *something* useful.
Sorry I missed the fun tonight gang. Just got in and caught the last few minutes…..
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA… I can’t stop laughing…
Was wondering where you were! Especially since you’re at Raw live next week and won’t be here then either.
You were missed, BookSavvy!
When I turned on the TV and saw Lawler & Punk the first thing I thought was “I missed a whole night of pedo jokes!!” That and “what the heck did CM Punk do to his hair?!” :(
I was late getting here, but moment of the night for me was Lawler responding to Punk’s criticism of “the biggest name you beat was a comedian” with “yeah, but he was a really funny comedian!”
What made CM Punk bleed? I missed it because I was intentionally not looking at the match.
He got rammed into the cage a few times during the match.
Punk intentionally blades himself as he is laying on his back, waiting for Jerry to unstrap himself. Look carefully as Punk keeps both hands over his forehead and blades himself with his left hand. It was a bad cover-up from the straight edge skinhead
Seriously we can’t stay away from Lawler rapist jokes just like Lawler can’t stay away from underage girls.
…DAMMIT!
+1. The jokes almost write themselves and they never get old.
Just the way he likes ‘em!
ZING!
Hang on– was HHH selling the wrong arm? Seth Mates is saying so on Twitter–if he is, you guys….I…..just….what…..can someone confirm/refute?
Nevermind. Double-Turds.
Nope, Seth’s just looking for bones to pick with HHH.
I said the same thing when I saw him come out. I just assumed too much WWE had made me so dumb I couldn’t tell left from right anymore.
He had the right one: [youtu.be]
Let’s just be glad he didn’t rip the cast off, shout I AM THE WOLVERINE and pin Punk clean in 18 seconds.
Wait. I mean like Weapon X Wolverine. God knows no one can mention that OTHER wolverine.
Love you all lots, good night.
Just read Kane’s promo in Anger Management sketch. I’m laughing and I’m just reading words.
Kane recalling his life was the best part of that. I know Brandon has some harsh feelings towards Kane but that better get a big juicy Best.
That was fun, you guys. See you all tomorrow.
OK, started the DVR and started watching about 1 hour and 15 minutes in. Just about perfect.
Also, has Sandow always held the mic like a Brandy Snifter? Just caught that tonight. Nice touch.
Yeah, he has. He’s so awesome.
That was the reason I fell in love with him immediately.
This makes me a bad person, but was anyone else hoping Punk was going to go for the screwdriver out of the toolbox?
I was, I still think it’s the only way they would’ve got the crowd to pay attention
I was thinking duct tape and Punk making a reference to how he’s going to use it like Lawler uses it on little girls.
As soon as I saw the toolbox I was hoping for that gigantic wrench Kane used on Vader.
That would have been EPIC. But only Hunter is allowed to use tools on people.
I picked a hell of a night to de-lurk finally. I just wish I hadn’t broken my StroudMouth cherry with a shitty Viagra on a Pole joke. :(
For every one good joke I make here I make fifty terrible ones, don’t sweat it. Also, for every one non-Lawler-is-a-rapist joke I make, I make fifty Lawler-is-a-rapist jokes. Truth.
Thanks. That actually makes me feel better. And your Lawler+Pedo jokes are the best Lawler+Pedo jokes.
I think you are mistaking frequency for quality but thanks either way!
Welcome to the party. Don’t worry about the crappy jokes. That’s just the fertilizer of the good jokes.
Thanks. At least I can only go up from here.
and with that Lawler will now leave to go tour with Fozzy
Of course he is, the age of consent in Germany is 14. Groupies, baby!
Last one, I swear.
Lawler got verbally and physically destroyed. This Raw was a 10, everything else doesn’t matter.
I hope next week Lawler and Cole use Owen voice when they watch the recaps of Punk beating the tar out of him
Wait…is this…COUPLES RETREAT?
BRB guys, putting my foot through my TV.
See what Punk should have done is grab Jerry’s crown, stand over his lifeless body and point at Cena and say (in a very badly dubbed voice)
“You are next!”
Checking in about 12 hours later to say kudos and +1 on that awesome Bloodsport reference. OK USA!
Let’s give it up for the crowds recently. I still hate them quite often, BUT:
Between them RUINING HHH’s heroic moment at Summerslam, and them just shitting on the Raw main event and barely caring about Lawler…
Gotta give them a hefty +Rhodes. You’ve come a long way, baby.
You missed them suck the joy out of the arena the entire night though. This crowd was just rough.
Ugh, didn’t realize that, utterly unsurprised.
They chanted “Thank you Hunter” and many of them looked genuinely upset and concerned. Not come that far.
You guys, you know… I try to positive JUST THIS ONCE!
Ahhhh you’re both right, fuck it.
Haha sorry for raining on your parade twice in one night.
On a positive note, though, Overexcited Brock Lesnar Guy was the one to get in the regular shouting match with Daniel Bryan. So we had that.
Two weeks in a row that Raw has ended with Lawler out cold. I hope it happens every week. He’s like the Kenny of the WWE.
“Oh my God, you killed Kingey!”
“You bastards!”
Yeah, but I’d prefer it begins that way.
Both HHH and Jerry Lawler could be absent from Raw next week. It’s already off to a really good start.
Why not climb into the locked cage so now Punk would be trapped in there with you? Why not slide thru the ropes out of the ring? These are things John Cena no nothing about……
that was retarded, why do we watch this?
That was another edition of “That Show I Watch So I’m Not Lost When Brandon Talks About It Tomorrow Or Wednesday Or Whenever”.
that’s right, that’s why I watch
RIP Jerry Lawler: 1949-2012.
Even as a midsouth native who grew up watching him kick ass in USWA, I would have much rather seen Lawler go a week ago if it meant we got to keep Neil Armstrong one second longer.
The best part of that was Cena just sitting there 5 feet from Punk and just staring angrily at his back.
Don’t worry guys, Lawler will Tout his disappointment with Punk in about 5 minutes.
Lawler : Cena / Cpt Sunshine : Wonderboy
Does he have a pulse?
lol @ the “you tapped out” chant at Lawler.
If he dies, he dies.
+ Drago
The best part? WWE is doing this to get Punk heat but everyone is thrilled that he beat the shit out of Lawler.
Pretty much!
It’s phenomenal. This is about as desperate as it gets. Fun to watch in a very cynical way.
Lawler exclaiming “HELL NO!” expecting a big face pop was a total bomb.
here is absolutely nothing wrong with a half-naked young man straddling an older man screaming SAY IT! SAY IT!
*achem* THERE is nothing wrong. We’re being open-minded and fair.
It’s a fun role-reversal for Lawler.
What I meant to say was “SAY MY NAME, JERRY. SAY IT LIKE YOU DID LAST SUMMER UNDER THE MOON ON THE LOVE BEACH.”
Does this mean Jerry Lawler won’t be on Raw next Monday #fingerscrossed
Get the cage up? What is this logic?
Yell “get the cage open” some more, mr hero
Give Lawler mouth-to-mouth, Cena. Or would that basically be going ass-to-mouth?
“You are way out of line,” says that guy who dropped 27 chairs on another human being.
And basted a man in barbecue sauce.
And basically had to cheat to beat Batista (the heel) in a Last Man Standing match using DUCT TAPE. Oh, but it’s ok to deface a limo, steal a car, you know, FACE actions.
SAY MY NAME! I’m Heisen-I mean, THE BEST IN THE WORLD
If only Lawler said “Shut up and let me die in peace”
You’re goddamned right.
+1 to all three of you
Walt is so embarrassing.
+1 million