Just kidding, the Bushwackers are the best tag team ever.
Just when you think only the classiest news comes out of Florida and Ohio, West Virginia goes and does something to blow all of our minds. Last Friday, Andrew Young and James Miller of Charleston, West Virginia were preparing for a local live wrestling event by practicing some of their favorite moves, like the power bomb and choke slam. Unfortunately, they weren’t exactly practicing those moves on each other, like normal adult men would do. Nah, they practiced them on a 2-year old girl instead.
South Charleston police say the men were practicing their moves on a toddler and caused severe bruising and a fractured leg. (Via WSAZ)
You might think that a person would be upset and concerned if he just wounded and possibly crippled a 2-year old girl, but no. Young and Miller were upset, but for other reasons.
“He wasn’t very happy,” South Charleston Police Detective A.R. Gordon says. “I guess he was looking forward to this wrestling event that was going to be here tonight. That’s probably not going to happen at this point.”
Don’t worry, it gets worse.
Young wasn’t shy when we asked him questions, playing it up for the camera.
“Love you maw maw, I’m famous!” Young yelled into the camera.
He says he was just playing with the little girl.
“I choke slammed her,” Young says. “But I didn’t hurt her. She didn’t cry after I did it.”
“It was playing around,” Miller says. “It’s stuff I’ve done forever.”
The Less-Than-Valiant Brothers* are each facing a year in jail after they pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor counts of battery, as opposed to taking their chances with going to trial yesterday. Our UPROXX legal team told me they stood as good of a chance in court as Lenny and Lodi against High Voltage. Am I right? *high fives self*
*I also considered The Assholeytes, The Hardly Boyz, The Yukon Dumberjacks, Tykeforce, Devolution and, well, The Dudley Boyz.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Sandusky-Facebook-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/pandas-wrestling-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/bucky-boyd-tree-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/peter-mulloy-mugshot-180x180.jpg)
Aw, those guys sound like fun.
I’d like to play around with them too. With a Louisville Slugger.
The Wild Somorons?
*golf clap*
I thought these guys were the worst tag team ever.
(2 yr old) DEMOLITION!
America’s Most Wanted?
[en.wikipedia.org]
Fucking awful idiots.
The Stro needs to teach them a lesson.
c’mon its so obvious “The BrainBusters”
/Lived in West Virginia for seven years
//sighs
///starts drinking early
Dangerously close to being the Diddley Boyz.
If they were members of the Dudley clan, they’d have to be Dipshit and Dumbass Dudley.
Also, The Legoin of Dumb, The Not-So-Smart Foundation, and Dummy Inc.
Oh! Natural Duh-sasters!
Last weekend I was playing around with my two and a half year old son and I totally hit him with a Rock Bottom. He wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to follow it up with the People’s Elbow.
Clearly, he did not smell what you were cooking.
This makes me a sad Panda.
“It didn’t hurt her, she didnt’ cry at all after I did it.”
The crying only came after she was able to feel something from the neck down after being temporarily unconscious from the monstrous chokeslam inflicted. But hey it’s perfectly OK, “IT’S WRASTLIN’ IT AIN’T REAL, ONLY MAKE PRETEND…” Oh, and they terk meh jerb…
Im guessing this “Wrestling Event” was a backyard wrastlin event sponsored by West Virginia’s Finest bath salts “if you are banging your cousin, or eating a homeless mans face, then your not snorting WV’s Finest Bath Salts
Humans are bastards. >:(
Also Harlem Heat are the greatest tag team.
Beer Dummy?
/Yeah, TNA reference, muthas. WHAT.
//Please tell me they were drunk. Somehow I’d feel better. And my reference would make sense.
DAMMIT! I grew up near Charleston WV and if these bums screwed up my opportunity to see MXCW during my yearly visit I am going to be extremely pissed!
XMCW*
Can’t wait till they go to prison and try their “wrastling” on sum inmates. It will get real pretty quick. And no 3 counts, it’s three shanks in the back.
I bet they Touted that. Idiots.
As a side note, I totally broke my cousin’s glasses putting him in the Sharpshooter on our couch cushion ring when we were 11. He cried like a baby even though he wasn’t hurt. I told him to take ‘em off but nooooooo. He’s a Marine now, so love to remind him of that every now and then ;)