Tweets Come To Life: What If The Best #RejectedOlympicEvents Were Real?

This morning marked the first time in three days that I logged into Twitter and didn’t see #RejectedOlympicEvents trending, and that’s a very good thing. Some of the jokes were very funny until the unoriginal zombies of the Twitter wasteland just kept regurgitating the same jokes over and over, some even bragging how funny they were despite having already been posted by comedians days before. I get it, the Women's 400m Vacuuming picture that we all saw during the last Summer Olympics is HIGHLARIOUS. But whatever, I’ll leave the Twitter policing to Supreme Twat Darren Rovell from here on out.

Bitching and moaning out of the way, there were a few of these jokes that elicited strong giggles to actual LOLs – Water YOLO and Menstrual Cycling being two of my favorites – and I started wondering, “What would the Olympics look like if these crazy rejected events actually existed?” So I fired up the old Photoshopper and decided to answer that question for myself. I only wish I could have said, "Up yours, sleep" and done 50 more.

Enjoy, won’t you?

It's worth noting that C-Tates actually wears his gold medal while he competes, because he thinks it will force the IOC to award him a platinum medal with a spinner.