Earlier this year, it was “reported” that Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher had added to his arsenal of terrible girlfriends when he started shacking up with former Playboy Playmate and noted nutjob Jenny McCarthy. And the only other name that I even need to include on that list of girlfriends is Paris Hilton in order to describe how poor this dude’s taste is. If he rebounds with Carmen Electra or Tara Reid, I wouldn’t even blink.

In what matters, Urlacher is still rehabbing his injured knee, and he’s being very optimistic about returning to the field for the Bears’ September 9 matchup with the Indianapolis Colts. But he’s going to have to prepare for a return on his own, because McCarthy has packed up her conspiracy theories and moved on.

Last week the unlucky in love star revealed her relationship with the Chicago Bears linebacker had ended, so she danced away her troubles on Friday night at Mirage’s 1Oak Nightclub.

The 39-year-old is now focusing on her work. She told People.com, “I’m just working a lot. I moved to Chicago and my son is really happy. My next book (Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic) is coming out in October and I’m just getting ready for my TV show.” (Via StarPulse)

I like Urlacher, despite his terrible taste in women, but at the same time we should be using his biggest flaw to our advantage. Screw Ryan Lochte, let’s make Urlacher the next Bachelor. We could just fill a house with skanks and let them murder each other for a chance to get HPV. Now that’s quality TV.

In related news, remember when McCarthy looked like this?