Best: William Regal and Damien Sandow hunt in the deserts of Africa
I waited for a solid 45-50 minutes in line at Axxess for a chance to meet Regal and Sandow and get a couple signatures. This tandem was amazing, but Sandow really sent it flying over the top. Every 10 minutes or so, the wrestlers would head off stage to take pictures with and sign autographs for folks who were handicapped. Class all around. Sandow however took leaving the stage as a good opportunity to remind those waiting in line that we should be hydrating ourselves regularly as the sun was bearing down on us. Damien also paused from one autograph to stand up and take a look at the Rise Above Hate rock climbing wall (…supplemental worst?) to ask one of the climbers, “Young man! Where are your parents? Get down from there! You’re going to hurt yourself!”
Far and away the greatest moment of Axxess for me though was finally meeting the two and before I could approach the table, Regal held up one finger and says, “Ah this, is quite a momentous occasion. Look at this.” He was holding a bit of a feather that broke away from Sandow’s quill pen, as Damien steps in… “These feathers are plucked from the extremely rare albino ostrich, which can only be found on the most remote parts of certain African deserts.” Quite literally dumbstruck I asked if the pen would still work if it was missing a part of the feather, and all I got back was a scowl and a “Yes, it’s a pen, not a Harry Potter wand.”
Best/Worst: Don’t follow friends who say they “know someone” at live shows
SummerSlam ended and a friend I went with told me he “knew a guy” who could get us backstage. Sounded like a fun idea, but I don’t know if this guy is credible. We end up on an elevator leaving Staples Center and I go to get off on the main floor only to be told we’re not there yet. Doors close, re-open and all I see is a concrete wall ahead of me and all sorts of staff walking around. Three steps into this area and I knew we were not supposed to be there. A quintuple take to realize Eve was about 3 feet to my left. Tensai walking down the tunnel. Vickie. Kofi. Rosa. Yeah, I’m not supposed to be here. And who sticks out more than a guy wearing the bright pink Dolph Ziggler shirt? No one, that’s who. Best for being a weird fun experience. Worst because we came off like the worst fanboys in that moment.
Best: Dolph/Vickie are awesome in real life
Got to help out in interviewing Dolph and Vickie for New Rock 104.1 in Fresno. Nothing to add here. They couldn’t have been nicer, and Ziggler/Guerrero discussed boobs, mood lighting and Archer with us. Wins all around.
Worst: Save Mart Center in Fresno
I was 12 years old all day Monday starting with the interview. Met the guy who won the other ticket to sit with me and we made our signs during the day. Picked up a few more friends to go to RAW. Get to RAW. The signs (including one for @MrBrandonStroud #RTSMF) were allowed through. “Tonight is the night” indeed. Then security tells us we can’t have the signs. We’re sitting on the camera side and we can’t put them up so they don’t block the camera view. You know what? That’s fine. I understand the necessity for that. Then as we sit, we find out “No cell phones.” I’m sorry, what? This isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia. We live in a day and age where our phones have cameras on them and allow us to interact with others via social media and get our multimedia done on one device. But we can’t have those. Section 6 got discriminated against. Hard.
Worst: Fresno Has Absolutely Zero Moral Compass
- A young child yelled at Alberto Del Rio “Where’s your papers?”
- During the SummerSlam video package, a fan behind me saw Terry Crews and asked, “Is that the one guy from the Primetime Players?” because black people.
- Primetime Players did their entrance ramp dance and another fan said, “Ha, they’re swinging their arms. Like monkeys would do.” because … well, you know.
Best: Sheamus – Disproportionately Powerful High Fives
Seriously, he walked past, high fived me, and my hand stung for about 4 minutes. That’s all I have here.
Best: Daniel Bryan
The 4:10 mark of the video is our front row ticket winner Justin (SCSA shirt) having the YES NO shouting match on RAW and me (Dolph shirt) desperately trying to get involved with it. Voice status: gone.
Worst: Stop Feeding Us Inappropriate Ponytail Theater
The last time Fresno got Monday Night RAW, Taker made his “return” and was promptly challenged by HHH to their first (second) Wrestlemania fight. The crowd went absolutely nutso for him. Last night was nearly a polar opposite, mostly because about 45 minutes in people started to realize that there would be no Trips but that we would hear infinitely about him. There was a poorly executed “YOU TAPPED OUT” chant that got going, and I can’t be too sure that the applause for the end of Shawn’s answer to Cole’s question was actually appreciative of Triple H or if they were just glad Shawn was done. I’m not really sure the WWE understands the concept of interviewing. Something always seems to be off. Either people get punched after one question, or people aren’t wearing pants, or neither of those is happening and only one question is asked for a 10 minute response.
Worst: Somehow, the front row can’t hear you
I did not realize this while watching at home every week, but those speakers they prop up in the ring, they’re not very good at projecting backwards. I was in the front row right behind the speakers and if ANYONE was talking in ring (Heyman, Punk, Cena) I had to hope that no one around me was talking in order to really make it out.
Best: Wait what?
I told the guy sitting next to me that I really wanted Kaitlyn to win the Divas’ “Fall Out Of The Ring In Any Awful Fashion” Invitational and found myself pleasantly surprised to see her win. I don’t remember ever leaping out of my seat over the ending of a Divas match. But yes for Kaitlyn.
Worst: John Cena has NO idea how Fresno feels about our sports teams
Oh Cena. I’m not going to sit here and preach about Fresno and all our sports teams, but just know that pretty much everything Cena said about Fresno is wrong. The people in this city are the hands-down worst frontrunners you can possibly find. I saw a photo of Pat Hill in the comments last night. Pat Hill is gone as of the end of last season, but people had been asking for him to be gone for the last 7 years. Fresno State football games are an absolute joke from a fan standpoint. “If they don’t win the National Championship, these fans aren’t going to turn their back on their team.” Uh, yeah John, we will. Fresno State routinely does not sell out games — in fact, once there’s even a single loss in the books, attendance drops by about 10-15% for the next game. Then again, why would you stay when Boise State is up 35-0 in the second quarter? I worked for a sports talk station for 5 years and here’s a small number of reasons we got from fans as to why they weren’t going to games.
- The schedule is always too hard and we can’t win them all
- Parking costs too much
- The schedule is too weak and I’m not putting down money to see Louisiana Tech
- I don’t like our offense
- The drive to the stadium is too long
- Our defense is no good
So, we won’t turn on them if there’s no national championship? Erroneous. We turn on them LONG before that. My only wish at that moment was for Punk to cut him off and say “You’re talking about these people? They care about their entertainment?” and then make some crack about the visibly empty spots in the arena.
Best: This kid had no idea that was an insult
Our dark match was Big Show v Cena and a kid seated directly next to me was covered head to toe in Cena gear. Shirt, hat, headbands, spinner necklace, the works. This same kid also started a “FRUITY PEBBLES” chant, phrasing it as a compliment.
Best: I know what the WithLeather ladies like. “You’re Welcome.”
Tip of the hat to BookSavvy for the header, but here you are: Dolph Ziggler, in all his glory.
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Cole saying “Millions of Dollars..” made me sad…..
+1 Brock More-snar
Shouldn’t “Tout!” in Polish be “Toutski”?
as half a pole my determination is yeski
In Spanish: El Tout-o.
After rewatching Raw last night I have developed a theory that will yield possibly the nerdiest paragraph I have ever written or ever will write. (I doubt it)
I think that the WWE Title is to Punk what the “One Ring” was in the Lord of the Rings universe.
1.) It makes him seem nearly invisibile (not getting respect, not headlining PPV’s despite being champ)
2.) It distorts the way things appear to him when he has it on.
3.) It is slowly, but inevitably, corrupting him. (He seems to know what he has done is wrong at times but still seems unable to stop himself from doing it).
That is all, I will now return to fixing my glasses with electrical tape and pre-stuffing myself in to a locker.
That’s really very good.
Thank you for that, it’s a source of vindication for hours I’ve spent in meetings over the day thinking about CM Punk as a hobbit.
Hey! This locker came pre-stuffed with nerd. This place is all right!
Does that make Cena Faramir?
I think it makes Cena Sauron, since he tricked the WWE elves into making it for him and all his power is bent on getting it back.
I envision him as more of a Smeagol/Gollum character and that MITB 2011 was essentially the Riddle Game. Whether or not this means a PPV ending with Cena biting off Punk’s finger and clutching the spinner belt as he plummets in to hot lava has yet to be determined (fingers crossed)
This is why this is the best collection of wrestling fans in the world. Awesome stuff.
The only problem with your conclusion is that the One Ring is a pure and physically beautiful artifact representative of an elite level of craftsmanship. And the goddamn spinner belt is a goddamn spinning belt.
There is nothing pure about the One Ring! It is a fundamentally corrupt object, imbued with the most hideous malevolence imaginable. In this respect, it is the spinner belt’s twin.
Can Lawler be Denethor so we can have a flaming high dive in our future? Also ::RingerFistBump::
::RingerFistBump::
Lester, you have a point there. Except I am fairly certain that the official name is “the goddamn spinner belt”. And even if it isn’t, it fucking well should be.
Also… can we get more on what Vicki said about boobs? Cause… I love me some Vicki
If I may, Christian here.
Vickie and Dolph were in studio and apart from me, there was one other HUGE WWE fan in the building and he could barely even look at them. The host said “I’m sorry, I forgot what I was going to ask you because I can’t stop staring at your boobs.” Vickie laughed. The other guy said “same here” about as meekly as possible and Vickie offered to turn so he could get a better view.
Vickie is a top shelf human being.
OMG I love Vicki.
+ eleventy billion for Vicki
I recently watched the Eddie DVD, the one before he died, and to see how the emotion on Vickie’s face while talking about Eddie’s hardships in the business and with substance abuse etc. And to then think he went on to die from this and now we boo her? Because she’s not Playboy worthy and has a Drescher voice? I blame Jerry Lawler like I do for most things.
….TOP 10 YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Hmm hmm, excuse me. Great article as per usual.
I will only call Kaitlyn “Kaitlyn Stasiak” if she is to hail from Planet Stasiak. What say you Brandon?
Well of course, that’s where all Stasiaks come from, I’m assuming.
wasn’t ALF a Stasiak?
Shumway
Rumor has it she’s a little Craziak
Something about Punk calling Lawler the minister of propaganda or whatever makes me hope that all the faces acting like indefensible jerks is a set-up for another Big Show Episode where Punk tears down/exposes everyone as “that guy” that everyone keeps accusing him of being and forces everyone to start over.
I mean, Punk clotheslines the Rock and Lawler acts like he just murdered him in cold blood, but Sheamus steals a damn car and oh come on cole, it ain’t that bad! boys’ll be boys! heh, good ol’ sheamus, never know what he’s gonna do next!
I have done zero research on the matter, but I’m convinced “The Hive” HAS to be a Tyler Perry movie.
You’re thinking of Madea Gets Hives All By Herself
“There’s an 80% chance Lawler thinks he’s Alberto Del Rio in a turban.”
There’s a 100% chance Lawler calls a turban a “terroism hat”
amazing
I cracked up hard reading that.
Good lord that’s funny.
Too early for a +1?
This tickled my fancy
+1 That’s damn funny
I actually did LOL for that. Good job Lobster!
+Allah
If Brock is Pyramid Head would that make Sable a mannequin? Would all Divas be mannequin?
Also – I would LOVE to see Jack Swagger – Interplanetary Adventurer at least twice a month.
Only if his co-pilot was Astronaut Jones
I believe Orlando Jordan is available for co-piloting duties.
I bet the days the sweatshop kids get to make Lawler’s shirts are the most fun for them, because it’s basically arts and crafts day (play with Elmer’s glue, make glitter designs of nonsensical bullshit, etc).
I assume it’s therapy for the kids. Make glitter drawings of your nightmares!
“The coolest, toughest, smartest person in the room loses one match and gets hurt and suddenly we’ve got to set him adrift on a wooden raft and burn his body?”
This was perfect right up until the part where you used a question mark instead of a period and a court order.
It is ok because Sheamus is only borrowing heel concepts.
+HeBroughtItBack
I like this
Really good write up, Brandon, and don’t feel bad if you repeat some points too often since they need to be said.
I’m glad Punk is getting better. He’s not quite CM Punk yet, but he’s not quite as bad as the “WWE Heel CM Punk”, which was still better than “WWE Face CM Punk”.
Also, this might me being a hateful monsters but fuck me if Cena didn’t destroy Punk on the mic.
And, yeah, Sheamus is bearable when you realize that through it all ADR is a multi-millionaire who is a wrestler because “destiny” and Sheamus is just a proletariat who needs to put food on the table and is tired of being bullied by this 1 percenter. Or racism, probably racism.
Huzzah to Christian on the +1 bonus coverage.
True story: I almost fainted when I read my name on Page 6. Feeling a whole lot better now that I’m hydrated. By god, Sandow was right.
Sandow really is a delight.
The full-on quill marker was phenomenal. Sandow and Regal should be partnered up forever.
Another amazing B&W. Loved the bonus live report too. I have so much affection for Vickie Guerrero. If I was ever in the same room as her I’d have an uncontrollable urge to hug her.
Regarding the “Worst: Somehow, the front row can’t hear you” bit: Those speakers they put in the ring are stage monitors. They’re for the performers, so they can hear themselves and keep in time with all the various production audio. They use them at concerts too. It’s a fault of the arena’s sound system that you couldn’t hear what was being said.
Yeah, I had to be taught MANY things regarding live shows that night. My friend reintroduced me to WWE right at the Nexus v Bret Hart team at SummerSlam a couple years back. Didn’t realize the no cell phones rule wasn’t really an arena thing either. It was like listening to muffled audio though. So yay for that.
I love how disgusted Sandow looks in that picture. I’m going to chalk it up to the hundreds of slovenly wrestling fans he had to interact with before this picture was taken (Christian is not slovenly).
Also – I posted the Pat Hill picture because that’s the only thing my mind goes to when someone says “Fresno State”. Didn’t know he was gone.
People were absolutely horrid in that line. I was enjoying every second of Sandow’s fan interaction. The “slovenly” fans meanwhile were yelling at him and Regal to “hurry it up”. They were taking their time, and it was incredibly enjoyable… and also way better than my sad “hey, what’s up bro” handshake with Swagger and/or Kane complaining about the heat despite being a demon.
Pat Hill got fired at the end of last year. He’s a coach with the Atlanta Falcons now.
Fresno State didn’t even sell out a home game in recent years against MFing WISCONSIN. Why? “They run the ball a lot and it’s boring.”
If Christian’s seats were a little closer to the aisle Kofi and Truth would have handed him a stuffed animal Aksana.
I’m just going to pretend that statement implies I just get handed real Aksana and proceed to make NOTHING productive happen the rest of my work day.
As someone named Kenta, I strongly agree with SonofMass’ comments
+健太
Now that i have had time compose myself. This Raw went by amazingly fast and not just because of this awesome comment section. I think that WWE has learned from last weeks recap-o-mania that the fans short attention span isn’t nearly that short.
“Littering Indian Tears” is now my new favorite descriptor EVER, and my future band name. Well done!!
Can I come to your 1st gig?
I wanna yell out, “Do yourself a favor, don’t look back!!!” …and crowd surf, I want to crowd surf.
Not for nothin’, but Iron Eyes Cody was Italian.
/truestorybro
I love Sin Cara’s “Fire Up” hand gestures. Makes me say to myself, “OH MAN! This guy’s itching to plancha the crap out of somebody!”
OH MAN! THIS BUSINESS Cat? Alex*, you are the best.
oh cool, you guys can see it? It still shows my old avatar on my page.
A rare super rainy day in Vegas might have given me the inspiration needed for THIS BUSINESS CAT.
THIS BUSINESS CAT IS THE BEST EVAR!
I had to right click on your avatar, then “view image”, then refresh, then come back to this page and refresh again, but now I see the new avatar and it was totally worth it.
THIS BUSINESS Cat is brilliant!
WOOHOO!!!!!
I was reading through this as I sat through an awful conference call, and nearly lost control laughing at the Sandow parts on the last page.
On another note, the description of Sandow being the real “voice of the voiceless” is bang on. It really is about time, that after so many examples of throwing the “boring” gimmick at skilled, technical wrestlers (Storm, Bryan, etc), that someone is basically acting like I do watching tv. Yelling “you were chanting boring to Lance Storm, but popping for DX pissing on DOA’s bikes?!” seems like something adolescent Sandow was doing too.
I also might have to change my username on here to “Adolescent Sandow”
Sandow was hands down the highlight of my Axxess weekend. It’s rather unfortunate they had Layla and Kaitlyn at the Money in the Bank photo shoot at the next booth at the exact same time, otherwise that would have given Sandow a run for his money.
In the defense of rando dude sitting near Christian at SummerSlam, I understand that “this African-American person and that African-American person look alike” is fraught with potential racial insensitivity, but Terry Crews and Titus O’Neill really DO look quite a bit alike.
This was a guy at RAW the following night, but looking at a few photos… I’m almost willing to let that person’s comment slide. Almost.
I’m a little ashamed to admit that the first time I saw Titus wrestle for FCW, I Googled him just to be sure it wasn’t the President from “Idiocracy”.
Five time ultimate smackdown champion and reigning male adult entertainer of the year Hector Camacho?
LOL Camacho
Oh, Brandon, how silly of you! You should know that referees can’t be subtle characters because WWE doesn’t know subtlety.
Though I would like to see people that are better at that kind of thing than me give the other refs some characteristics.
Mike Chioda can have video game ref characteristics… meaning it takes 3 or 4 times running into him to actually knock him out, but it only happens at unimportant times, and never long enough to actually do anything illegal beyond staying out of the ring an extra 3 seconds.
I’d love for Charles Robinson to announce near falls with a strut and “T-WOOO!”
I still think Lil Naitch looks like one of the guys from Baywatch… he should referee entire matches wearing red shorts while perched on a chair 8 feet above the ring.
I could see that. Blow his whistle to break up an illegal choke.
I definitely remember hearing a “MIKE CHI O DA!” chant either on either SummerSlam or Raw. They should give him something to do!
I can’t wait until Jack Swagger gets back. I really want to know how pushups work on Mars.
Gonna have to add another star to Old Glory, Swagger’s claiming the Red Planet for the USA!
One day, AJ is gonna get wet by accident and we’ll see sparks flying out of her head. Then her torso will open up and we’ll see Teddy Long has been piloting her body since Raw 1000.
Then we’ll find out the real AJ has been at home planning her and Daniel’s wedding for the appropriate amount of time a wedding actually takes to get planned.
The skipping could be a means of recharging.
Something that just hit me that I didn’t e-mail Brandon for the report… John Cena thinks Fresno supports their favorites because Cena IS their favorite. I haven’t watched the entire RAW on my DVR yet (save for the Daniel Bryan screaming match because yay) but the place went absolutely gonzo for Cena and Orton.
I don’t understand how the entire place lit up for Punk and then 5 minutes later is booing him. We have zero shame in our fandom mood swings.
Obligatory comment. Great read as always, thank you.
Pour out a little YJ Stinger for Tyler Reks, your white man dread will be missed
Guess he wasn’t a fan of the new Magic Mike gimmick.
Word…
I was going to complain about the good guys, but I think you about covered it, so I will take this time to think about Kaitlyn. Or her fan fiction with Ziggler.
/JD Moment
This does make AJ objectively the worst GM ever, right? Has any GM put a top-tier superstar’s career on the line for no reason? No rivalry. No provocation. Just shits and giggles.
More importantly, what does it say when I think this was their best 3-Hour episode so far?
A good GM is always looking for ways to have LESS talent.
Are we sure we haven’t seen her receiving text messages? The no rivalry gimmick matches make it seem like Russo is pulling her strings
Complaining about sportsmanship in pro wrestling, Brandon? You have to admit that’s a pretty quixotic crusade. Save yourself the blood pressure, my mans. Let it go. It’s not worth the outrage.
I can’t speak for Brandon, but for me, it’s about the storytelling. Sportsmanship in pro wrestling isn’t important because pro wrestling should be civil. It’s important because the people you are supposed to cheer for shouldn’t be assholes.
truth
I’m not looking for it to be like a real sport, I’m looking for the good guys to be good guys, and not the shitty nerd idea of a “cool guy”.
Brandon, I am offended that you would suggest that my love, Eve Torres, is bad at wrestling. I will not stand for this, my good sir. *slaps computer monitor w/glove*.
She is like Brutus Beefcake, somewhat physically imposing and above average athletic, but with little actual wrestling talent to speak of. But I still heart her so.
So if one were going to Easton, PA, what major city would they have to fly/bus/hot air balloon to first? Just curious is all.
We’re flying in to Philadelphia, probably.
Neat! (/writes fantasy itinerary on Magna Doodle)
Upon further review, Chikara is very sensibly priced! Kudos to you, Chikara.
I really wish I had moved back to Eastern PA when I had the chance. Aside from the occasional sparsely-attended ROH show, there is fuck-all in terms of good local wrasslin’ and I would love to see King of Trios.
As much as I’d love to go, I only have so many Wrestling points per year with the lady friend, and being that I’ve got my sights set on TLC in Brooklyn and ‘Mania at Jets/Giants Stadium, I’m scared to push it.
So…I leave central FL in about 2 weeks and my last day at work is Friday. NXT tapes at Full Sail tomorrow night, it’s about a 2 hour round trip, and my last day at work starts at 9am the next morning. How good of an idea is it for me to go to a NXT show by myself with this knowledge and why am I asking you people?
I say go on general principle!
Do it! Treat regular Friday like a Bon Jovi Friday!
oh lord, driving an hour for a wrestling show is the easiest yes ever.
I know, but my token Catholic guilt will kick in because I’ll have to leave work an hour early without permission…continuing we final week attitude of giving zero fucks of what my co-workers/bosses think as I do the bare minimum and comment on With Leather/KSK posts all day.
/posting this while currently at work
Plus I don’t have a girlfriend with an irrational love of all things Kane to go with me.
Chrissius HerOhno tweeted that Punk is going to be at NXT tomorrow. Does that help any?
It’d be better if I knew there was a ONE MAAAAAN BAAAAAAAAAAAAND playing there…
DO IT!!
Go for it. They won’t fire you for it and it’s only an hour early. If you feel guilty about it, you could put more effort in on Thursday (do a working lunch) or add an extra hour on Friday.
Loved your report, Ghost of Nexus Past. The interaction with Regal & Sandow was hilarious.
Also…when you saw Eve for that brief moment, did she mention me at all? Please say “yes”.
Much appreciated! I’m in total “holy crap, Brandon allowed my writing to be on the report!” fanboy mode, but it was well worth it. Seeing the Team Johnny shirt in person was a definite Best.
Eve actually said exactly that. Not verbally, but she was looking for something/someone. I can’t be positive, but when I read her lips, it seemed like a distinct “Alex. Alex! No, not Riley. The THIS BUSINESS CAT Alex.”
Team Johnny 4 Ever!
Oh man, Eve is sooooo into me, I love her face! :D
I think she was confused that you didn’t run to the ring to propose DURING SummerSlam.
The real question is, do you still love Eve if she only has one functional eye?
She can put an eye patch on and be my pretty little pirate. It’s all good!
And will make sure to do the run in proposal during next year’s Summerslam :)
Here’s an unrelated best for you.
Comedian Amy Schumer was on Howard Stern today and apparently she used to date Dolph Ziggler but had to break up with him because the sex was “too athletic.” She texted him to break up and found out that Ziggler was a real sweetheart and that she hurt him. She said she still likes him, but they aren’t meant to be together.
“Too athletic” – so lots of head/handstands and crunches?
Anthony Jeselnik does seem more her speed. Although I can imagine sex being dry isn’t much better.
Dolph should find that clip of Amy saying that and find a way to discreetly play it at all future dates.
“Seriously babe, will it be a problem that I have too much stamina?”.
Jeselnik’s delivery speed would go hand in hand with Dolph’s physical stamina.
RANDOM POST THAT GOES UNANSWERED: If John Cena is the new york yankees, CM Punk is…?
Germany, ambitious and misunderstood?
Manchester City. Sure, they won the title, but their matches are at the wrong times while the Yankees get primetime on ESPN night in and night out.
That, and most American fans hate soccer while the people that know what’s up love it.
So maybe CM Punk is the entire EPL.
As a Phillies fan, I’d compare him to them. The rise was surprisingly and fucking glorious. Since then, it’s been a lot of looking good on paper and wondering why it’s not as fun anymore.
He’s not Manchester City, because Manchester City would be WWE coming in and arbitrarily pushing some amazingly dull wrestler who’s never done much to become heavyweight champion.
Cena sounded great in that promo. Seriously.
A very cromulent review!
Oh god, refs with personality/angles? It worked in WCW I guess, but that’s because it was amiable trash-wrestling. Nick Patrick? That cartoon, Kenny Powers looking motherfucker? Yeah, This Business® definitely doesn’t need that these days.
They don’t have to have wacky personalities, just tendencies and specifics.
Yeah, it’d be awesome if we had ref’s that were especially lenient about towards the wrestlers, or some that were overly DQ friendly. Anything.
There are only 4 refs I know by name. In the WWE it’s ‘lil Naitch and Nunzio. In TNA it’s the guy with the Blue Adidias Zigtech shoes and the old guy with the twin that screwed over Hogan.
For the record, I live very close to Fresno and have to go back-and-forth a lot because of work. Everything mentioned about Fresno is 100% true. It’s really like the central valley’s own little version of the “stereotypical south” right here in California.
I’m really bummed I didn’t know they were having a RAW here though, otherwise I would have tried to go. If not for anything, then to at least be the dude that gets kicked out of the arena for running up the ring, giving Ziggler a huge hug and saying: “Hey buddy, we appreciate you.”
As Cena was saying it, my mind had already strayed to the Live Report. Luckily, I had time to put together coherent thoughts and sentences together rather than just post a picture of myself with the “LOL is he talking about us” face on.
Now if you’re talking about how people were acting… yeah, you know Fresno as well as I do.
Yeah, I probably should have made that clear in my post. I was referring to what you had wrote about the way people were acting. At least Cena didn’t come out with a “Rise Above Meth” t-shirt on.
Cena in a Rise Above Meth shirt would have accomplished one important thing.
- Finding out if ANYTHING can dethrone him as a fan favorite in this town.
I’m totally going to make a Cena-inspired “Rise Above Meth” t-shirt for the next time WWE rolls through Fresno.
Fantastic write up as usual, I have nothing clever to add.
I knew the Anger Management Tagstravaganza was going to be a no-win/no-lose from the start because that’s what tag team means these days.
Great post, as always. If there’s one truth in all of this, it’s that your penchant for rising above the shit always takes on more than an air of joyful love for the art of pro wrestling. Even at its worst, we still watch it and your enthusiasm definitely helps.
I was having one of those “Why do I still watch this?” misery moments at the end of RAW, but I knew reading this would alleviate those symptoms.
I kind of like Brock’s “I’m the King now, so I quit” thing because it’s telling of how douchey and horrible someone can be if they can declare themselves “Lord and Master,” and then leave before anyone can contest it. He’s evil, he’s near-murderous, but he’s also petty and childish in his open and obvious admiration of all things dickish. And it’s also better than The Rock’s, “I know I said I was back forever last time but I’m back for realsies.”
And the Damien Sandow thing… At the time, I was pissed because I thought Sandow came out of it looking weak and then he gets trashed by Bro C, which leads to dancing kids. The latter of that situation is still fresh and deplorable in my mind. However, after watching some old school ‘Superstar’ Billy Graham matches, I realized Sandow is playing the perfect old-school heel. Someone who gets riled up on the mic and spits a great rhyme, but then gets in the ring, amounts some offense here and there but generally gets the ass-end of the beatdown, and then cheats for a quick win.
The pulling the tights thing I always thought was stupid, even as a youngster. My rationale was that you’d inevitably end up pulling someone’s tights in a wrestling match, regardless of intent. But it’s a classic heel tactic and Sandow is serving history with a great deal of justice.
I just hope, in the end, the WWE realizes that we loved AJ because she was working the male power “paradigm” thing in her favor, and twisting circumstances in which she’s about to oppressed in some way into opportunities for revenge. It didn’t matter who was her target, because they all had something to say about her that didn’t jive with respect for a person in spite of gender. But then she goes from that to making snarky faces and rolling her eyes at all the bad guys and attempting to screw them while the crowd cheers this partisan hackery?
Plus the skipping around thing is coming off like that’s the only form of movement AJ is capable of, and I suppose that’s fitting with her increasingly one-dimensional character.
She was going to be big, dammit! She managed to take two well-known and super-over wrestlers and catapult herself way into the spotlight to possibly becoming one of the few transcendent stars of the wrestling world! I am stoned, but I believe that to be true.
Aw man, I hate to even be That Guy(tm) about this but…
You do know that AJ didn’t put Otunga in the match because of the ‘crazy’ comment, right? It’s not like he was realistically trying to help her (as he is a heel – a traditional heel- you know what I mean). Yes, she did give him the stink-eye once he said crazy, but she made him repeat the phrase that actually got her mad. Sadly, I don’t have the clip on me but it was specifically about being “sheltered”, the idea that Otunga would help her with the crazy defamation, yeah, but also take care of everything and shelter her from being the GM.
And yeah, if that’s the case, let’s see how you shelter yourself from the Big Show, tough guy. Don’t get me wrong, I nibble my nails to the quick every time I see AJ because I don’t want to go down the SLUT/BITCH/WHORE road that WWE chooses for its female talents, but I can’t say we’ve reached Full Tilt Bozo just yet.
This. I kept wondering why they were keying on crazy when that wasn’t what she snapped about. Maybe crazy was what she was SUPPOSED to snap about, but she went death glare on sheltered.
Hey Brandon, long time listener, first time caller. I just wanted to point out real quick that the movie Otunga is in is called “The Hive”. “The Day” is a Canadian independent film that WWE simply bought the international distribution rights to, probably as a way to be able to say “See, WWE Films is more than just shitty movies starring people from our roster!”.
Of course it probably didn’t help that they ran a promo for “The Day” right after Otunga’s promo where he mentioned being in “The Hive” with Holly Berry.
The Jericho attacking Ziggler thing is the pinnacle of the reverse heel/face thing. Like YOU said they have to be messing with you/us. they read wrestling inc so maybe they read this and they’re just mean or it’s some meta-work. It just doesn’t MAKE SENSE.
I came back because I was promised punch & pie.
THERE IS NO PUNCH & PIE!
My B
Clownshoes… Effin clown shoes.
This was a pleasant surprise (the B&W write-up being up today!) and I’m always glad to contribute a line of funny when applicable. Great write-up and I, for one, thank you for suffering through RAW while jet-lagged. You are a gentleman and a scholar, Brandon.
Speaking of which, can I say how much more I freakin love Sandow now that I’ve heard these great Axxess reports? I love the commitment to his shtick and the disgusted look on his face is terrific.
I’m digging the smarmy CM Punk angle. I’ll be chillin in the upper balcony at RAW in Chicago on Labor Day in two weeks and look forward to Lawler having to pretend we’re booing him or talk about how much we suck at being part of the Universe because I can’t see any way that Punk can do anything to make us boo him. I’d love to see him try though.
Nice guest write-up, GhostofNexusPast! He knows what the WL ladies want. Being so close to DBry during a NO-off is pretty much the coolest thing ever. Next to albino ostrich feather pens, of course.
You get every +1 I have remaining in my account. +Rhodes, +Asscape, +YES, +ChicagoCrowds, +Velociraptor, +YoureWelcome and of course, +You.
Sandow was more than the Axxess crowd deserved.
Please treat Punk the way I attempted to Monday.
My voice STILL has not recovered from the NO-off. God bless Dragon for doing that pretty much every night. The albino ostrich feather pen… I think I know what my Halloween costume will be now. And if anyone gets it, they’re my new best friend. If a female gets it, I’m proposing on the spot.
I think Punk could do it. Night of Champions 2010 he turned a loving Chicago crowd into a hostile one with this promo:
“I love Chicago. I love the parks, I love Navy Pier, I love the skyline, I love the museums, I love the history. I love Chicago! What I hate, what I hate, what I despise, is the inhabitants of Chicago. You! You ruined my beautiful city! You middle-class lazy teamsters. You corrupt politicians. You corrupt police officers. The horrible, horrible Chicago White Sox. The Suzy homemakers who fatten up their children with fast food and then eat a bottle of pills and pass out on the couch. The out-of-work dads. You people make me ssssick. I’m proud to live here, I’m proud to be from here, I am not proud to live amongst people like you. You are the scum of the Earth and you have ruined a beautiful city that for a second time should be burned to the ground and in its ashes I, and I alone, will build a straight edge utopia. And speaking of fat people that nobody likes…” *cue Big Show*
See, I missed that one live but I’d love to know how much was actual booing and how much was piped in or added in post. Because I would agree with Punk on all those points. Chicago is awesome but a lot of the people suck…. ::especially Cubs fans:: ;) But I won’t talk about the Sox today because Space Monkey/Yankees fans might hurt me.
And he’s lying… no Chicagoan I know actually likes Navy Pier. ;)
Worst: Tired Brandon forgets to mention D-bateman’s drubbing of Khloe Kardashian all night via twitter. I stopped posting here because of the hilarity.
Even worse: Living in Fresno.
How did I miss that one? +1
It was nothing short of amazing. Almost every tweet of Kardshian was rebuked and mocked by D-Bates. As they kids would say: ” Pure pwnage”.
I meant Fresno specifically, but yes to everything. +everything to Bateman.
It is really bizare agreeing with Cole in the Sheamus/Del Rio fued. I hate that he is the voice of reason for any occasion.
Dolph Ziggler’s ass…Thank you
I know what the With Leather ladies like. He fell right in front of us and I looked skyward, mouthed a “thank you” and snapped the photo.
I was going to comment that I hoped SCC was sitting down when she saw that pic ;)
I’m shocked I managed to hit the button to take the photo without passing out. It has an equally tantalizing quality for men too. I watch RAW with my non-fanboy-SummerSlam friend every week and whenever Ziggler comes out, in unison we say, “DO THE ASS SHAKE, DO THE ASS SHAKE!”
“I love that The Day’s plot is seriously, “the lights go out, so now everybody has crossbows””
I believe that is also the whole concept behind Revolution, soon to be cancelled on NBC.
Yesterday my wife told me that one of her coworkers thought that Bork really broke Trip’s and Shawn’s arms for real. Save me Sandow!
Re: Miz and Bryan – They were getting along well enough on Smackdown… was it earlier this year? After Bryan had won the title, I believe. I can’t remember if he was full-blown heel or not, though.
Every week I read your best/worst report on my droid.
Every week you say some form of share me on some social media.
Every week I look for a way to do that on the screem but all that comes up is a tumbler share button and truth be told I don’t know what that is…
You should add a twitter share buton and I would hit it every week…
Honestly, I don’t even watch Raw anymore. I just read these reports, cause they’re pretty fucking dead on.
Although, while Kurt Angle never got a DVD, he did have a VHS. So there’s that.
Very late, supplemental and sentimental Worst: Realizing that RAW live in Fresno is the closest I’ll get to interacting with you fine folks during RAW. Go to hell, West Coast feed.
Never stop complaining about the weird role reversal thing that WWE does. I guarantee that it’s some bizarre inside joke to get crowds to cheer evil and jeer righteousness. I first noticed it when Edge was murdering Paul Bearer every week on SmackDown a few years ago. The crowd went nuts when Edge threatened to push him down the stairs in a wheelchair, and I was appalled. It drives me up the wall, and it has gotten really bad since B.A. Star began.
the comma goes inside the quotation marks, Brandon.
test
[img]http://borgman.cincinnati.com/cartoons/2003/09/2115tn590.jpg[\img]
take 2
[img]http://borgman.cincinnati.com/cartoons/2003/09/2115tn590.jpg[/img]
Well that was a complete waste of time.