No thanks.
The Don’t Bothers
I wouldn’t touch these guys with your **euphemism for penis and draft pick**.
Michael Vick – Forget the dog killing thing, that’s in the past (as far as fantasy football is concerned, naturally). I don’t want this dude on my team because he’s one of the most frustrating athletes on the planet to watch. I can’t even imagine being an Eagles fan.
Josh Freeman – People keep saying, “This dude is poised to break out.” Forget proving it once. He needs to do it two seasons in a row before I’ll even give him backup consideration.
Alex Smith – Even with all of the receiving help the 49ers have given him, I have no faith in Smith. He had 18 TD and 6 INT last season, which is great for what the 49ers needed to accomplish, but not for you to defeat your bro’s 69ers.
Matt Cassel – Ugh, no thanks. I can’t wait until the Chiefs are done with this miserable experiment, for the sake of fantasy drafts and their fans.
Mark Sanchez – Or Tim Tebow. Both of them. Fire them into the sun already.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/soccer-field-goal-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Manti-Maxim-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/alex-karras-george-plimpton-180x180.png)
Sorry, I know it’s terrible for me, but I’m taking a Lohan.
Josh “Gordon” Freeman or Matt Cassel Crashers?
If they’re on your roster, you just might SAVE them, dammit!
lol at my team, Carson Palmer isn’t even on there :(
I’ve got a Hudgens (Schaub) and a Gomez (RGIII) in one league, and a Gomez (RGIII again) and an unlisted (Fitzpatrick) in the other. Luckily, I have great WRs and RBs in both leagues.
This is timely analysis.
I look forward to the breakdown of our choices in the presidential election that you’ll do in mid-December.
I’ve still got two upcoming drafts, preseason is still ongoing, so I’m not sure what your issue is…
I’d take Eli over Newton and any other guy in the second sexiest bracket. He had almost 5k yards last year, never misses a game and the Giants’ running back situation hasn’t exactly improved.
I have a Hudgens (Romo). I’m hoping he outperforms this season, the same way I’m hoping that Hudgens will outperform in her upcoming role as a stripper. But, like Romo, I know she won’t live up to her potential and deliver the goods.
So are Palmer, Weeden, Tannehill, etc the androgynous lady-man Ken Shamrock punched?
So it’s Weeden, Palmer, Wilson, Tannehill, Fitzpatick, Gabbert, Bradford, and Skelton that are piles of barf. I can see that.
I got a huge Hudgens on my team. And just like Vanessa Hudgens gets fingered by Selena Gomez in her latest film, which will keep her relevant for at least 5 more years, I’m hoping Schaub gets metaphorically fingered by Johnson (in a good way) on the field, allowing me to attain fantasy football glory.
That is a terrible and hilarious analogy.
Your personal preferences are really evident in these rankings. There isn’t a single blonde in there.
This is really fun and I hope you have fun doing it.
Also for what it’s worth I thought the themes last year were very fun and I am hoping you do that again.
I’m assuming Russell Wilson = Chloe Moretz.. wait someone’s at my door.
Why hello there officer.
Was hoping the rookies were the Chloe Moretzs
shit should have read all the comments before stepping on Devil Dinosaur’s joke.
I copped Stafford at 9 (might have been a hair early but I was going into my pick wanting either Stafford or Megatron, Megatron went 8). Took Cutler suspiciously late for my backup. Sleeper though was Russell Wilson from Seattle. Next day he got named the teams starter. The kid looks good. Watch him blow up…