Yeah, she's amazing. But Macaulay Culkin? Ashton Kutcher? Something ain't right.

The Safety Nets

These are the guys who could be great if they have the right people helping them. Some of them do, so it’s really just a matter of “Will they do it?” But they still have a tendency to inexplicably let us down.

Matt Ryan – Since being drafted, it seems like we’ve been offered every reason under the sun as to why Ryan hasn’t fulfilled his destiny yet. Now, he has absolutely no reason on this planet to not be a top tier guy. He has Roddy White and Julio Jones, so pending their health I have confidence in the guy that I hate calling Matty Ice.

Peyton Manning – I took Eli’s older brother in my main league, in which I had the No. 1 pick. I got him with my 4/5 swing and paired him with Eric Decker as my third WR (as well as Arian Foster and Adrian Peterson, but we’ll get to that later) because I have gigantic testicles that I wanted to let swing in the wind. Those balls may end up crushing me, but we shall see.

Ben Roethlisberger – With Mike Wallace back – and praying that he doesn’t get a visit from the Bad Hammy Holdout Fairy – and Antonio Brown looking fantastic, Ben should be a serviceable fantasy QB. He’ll probably still throw a bunch of picks, but he’ll also be good for plenty of TDs. (He’s also my leading “Grab this guy as a backup just in case you take Matt Ryan and he sucks” candidate.)

Eli Manning – Pretty much the same as Ben. He has receivers, but he’s also done it before. Eli will win you more games than he loses you.