Earlier this month, the Houston Astros committed what I consider to be the worst play in the history of professional baseball when they turned a sacrifice bunt into a Cirque du Soleil-like dance of futility. I describe it as, “the kind of thing people put into movies about bad baseball teams in the opening montage so you’ll feel happy for them when they stop squatting and farting on the field”.
Now I think they’re just doing it on purpose.
Their latest work (by way of our friends at SportsGrid) features catcher Jason Castro and pitcher Fernando “A Bad Pitcher” Abad simultaneously charging an R.A. Dickey knuckle-swing, running into each other and helplessly falling to the ground as a pitcher beat them to first and a run scored from second.
There’s no way this can be real. Houston decided to amp up the helplessness a la the Washington Generals so even if lose 100 games next year and DON’T run into each other all the time it’ll look like an improvement. Or they’re about to be helped by angels. I don’t know what’s going on, but we need to hurry up and get to the punchline.
[via Yardbarker]


More like the “Very Bad at Playing the Game of Baseball, Which is Very Sad Because We Are a Professional Baseball Team”-stros, am I right?
AstroLOLs
I prefer LOLstros
Direct quote from Fernando Abad after…whatever that was: “My ABAD!”
*Budum-pish!*
I really thought he was going to throw it into the stands.
I think MLB needs to investigate the Astros for match fixing. I’m pretty sure my friends and I could play better defense than that after a mickey of vodka. . .Terrible.
Yes. Specifically because as Astros fans we get off on the embarrassment. What’s worse is that my other team is the mets. Wearing an adult diaper in public just wasn’t enough for me, i guess.
True story.
When I was a kid my friends and I would hang out at a swim club during the summer. We’d almost daily play baseball in the basketball courts with a tennis ball and a wiffle bat, or wiffleball and bat.
Anyway, Jason Castro is a few years younger than us, but would often play the games with us, because he was good.
Now, not so much.