
Now that the 2012 Summer Olympics are behind us, we can officially say the same for Michael Phelps, he of the 22 Olympic medal fame. That is, unless he plans to show up to Rio for the 2016 games and be that bro who just comes back to chill with the younger bros and teach them a thing or two, but in either case he’s done competing at the Olympics. That means it’s time to start tearing him apart after we’ve all done so much to build him up.
Enter: The National Enquirer and its mynah bird, The Daily Mail. According to super secret inside sources and “a poker-playing friend” of Phelps, the 27-year old has taken quite the liking to professional poker – as evidenced by that above photo from 2008 and all of the times we’ve seen him playing poker since – and they’re worried that his wealth is in danger of his eagerness to gamble. I guess he really is the Michael Jordan of swimming. *high fives porpoise*
‘All Michael thinks about is gambling,’ a poker-playing friend told the National Enquirer.
‘Michael has a “don’t quit until you win” attitude which was great while he was swimming but could be costly playing poker.’
Phelps has said he would love to be a professional player, but friends fear he cannot walk away.
The source added that Phelps has wagered ‘hundreds of thousands of dollars on poker already, and now that he’s retired from competitive swimming, everyone’s worried he’ll be betting millions more.’
Phelps isn’t even 30 yet and he’s one of the most famous and beloved Americans of the last 20 years. So forgive the guy if he wants to have a little fun, play some cards, and take a dip in the smoking hot model pool in the wake of cementing his legacy as one of the greatest Olympic athletes of all-time. I’m pretty sure that Subway is going to keep paying him millions to shill its disgusting green goup sandwiches, and I’m betting he’ll make a nice 8 figures to be an Olympic analyst in 4 years.
That said, until bookies are knocking off his parents, I think the tabloids and the “friends” should get off the guy’s back until they have a reason to be worried, like dating a Lohan or being featured on E!’s new series, Celebrity Truck Stop Handjobs.


“He may not have enough money to buy shit for all of his entourage” worries one of his entourage.
If he started trying to be a restaurateur or something (another way to flush away millions), no one would have a damn word to say.
I always think of Brewster’s Millions, when John Candy buys that gold catcher’s mask necklace but then complains about the iceberg.
I always think of Brewser’s Millions in every situation ever always.
He might be spending a lot on gambling, but I bet he’s saving a lot on groceries since he doesn’t need the six million calories any more. Probably evens out in the end.
“The National Enquirer and Daily Mail are turribal.”
~Charles Barkley
Until Phelps starts hanging out with Antoine Walker, I’m not worried.