We cover pro wrestling a little more than we should these days, because it turns out a lot of people want to read about fake fighting on legitimate comedy sports blogs and because more of us watched it when we were kids than we'd like to admit. Some of us still do, and have blogging jobs instead of working in an office somewhere and having the respect of anyone.
I've been looking for a way to follow-up on the WWF Legends Minimalist Poster Gallery from earlier this month, and pro wrestling personality/friend of the site Kyle Durden gave me a great idea ... what's more WWF and minimalist than actual pro wrestling promo 8x10s? Nothing, it turns out, especially if you find the ones from the late 1980s/early 1990s, after wrestling had been popular but before it got popular again. That's a gold mine.
So here's a look into the WWF promo photos gold mine. A preview of what you'll find inside: Dusty Rhodes as a laughing garbage man, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake going from normal human being to crazy-eyed monster in four years and the Bushwhackers playing in somebody's raked leaves. By the end of the gallery you may no longer be able to stand. That's normal.
Let me know which ones are your favorites in the comments section below.
[all photos via ImageEvent]
Let's go ahead and get Virgilbag out of the way.
The only two black guys cooler than Virgil: Slick and Akeem, The African Dream.
Anybody want a peanut?
The Beverly Brothers, probably the worst looking people ever born.
If you ever take a trip down to Cobb County Georgia, don't break any laws ... they have the right to handcuff you to something and beat you in the stomach with a nightstick.
(In case you couldn't tell)
He's thinking about you.
Pretty sure this picture is what the inside of my heart looks like.
Nothing says "best there is" like wearing a baggy tanktop with your picture on it.
That's more like it.
Do not name your dog Winston™, it is a registered trademark of World Wrestling Federation and not, you know, a dog named after a famous British person.
What happened to Winston™?
Here's a quick timeline illustrating how Brutus Beefcake got worse looking (and/or onto more drugs) as his WWF career progressed.
Okay, he lost his clothes, that's not a good sign. Also never good: a bow tie with no shirt, unless you're a Hanna Barbera character.
aaaand now he's cutting his own clothes. Who told him a barber dresses and acts like this?
The coup de grace: frosted hair.
If you have a friend who is all, "I watched wrestling when I was a kid, back when it was COOL. It's stupid now!", remind them that the f**king Bushwhackers existed.
Somebody's great idea was to shoot the Bushwhackers like they might their 3-year old nephew. Nothing says "tough tag team" like Sloth-esque guys with brain damage frolicking in the leaves.
It's funnier if you imagine him screaming "HAND-FORMED BURGERS" through his teeth.
Canada's Strongest Man. Also, Canada's Most Orange Lou Ferrigno.
Dusty Rhodes in polka dots, one of the great pro wrestling stories of succeeding in spite of spite.
I guess Dusty's WWF character was "GUY WHO CANNOT STOP LAUGHING, EVEN WHEN HE'S TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE OR DRESSING LIKE A COWARDLY LADY BUG".
No way does Freddie Blassie care about my wishes.
Like a boss.
There are literally 2,000 Hacksaw Jim Duggan photos like this of him sticking up his thumb and making a face like somebody just jammed a 2x4 up his ass, so I'll only include one.
I'm sad Hercules didn't sign his 8x10. I'll never verify my theory that his autograph was just STEROIDS in block letters.
This is so awesome I can't even begin to describe it. One guy who is in the WWE Hall Of Fame, and one guy who really f**king should be.
Commit to the gimmick, Jim, your signature should just be an X.
20 years later and he still looks exactly like this.
Nothing says "get ready to deal with me forever" like pictures of young Hulk Hogan.
Hulk Classic.
AAAAHHHH, JESUS, CLICK TO THE NEXT SLIDE
hahaha
He's not just playing Rip, he's starring as Rip.
How many pictures of Hulk Hogan holding the American flag does it take to erase the memory of his sex tape?
I didn't think we could make Jake Roberts any skeevier. Thanks, red lightbulb!
And the award for "Best Picture In This Gallery" goes to Jim Neidhart.
Bucket list item: own a jacket with my face and name airbrushed on the back.
With a word on WWF's cultural sensitivity, here's Jimmy Snuka in the jungle.
Junkyard Dog's autograph should've just been ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF
Worse than Michael Jordan. Michael Jackson.
The Low Energy version of Koko B. Ware.
Little did Hawk know, but he'd be getting drunk on TV, falling off the TitanTron and replaced by a vomiting quadriplegic before the decade was out.
Okay, THIS might be the best photo in the gallery.
It's been like 30 years and I still can't believe we had a popular tag team of fat guys called the "nasty boys". Think about that for a second. "The Nasty Boys."
Earthquake really needs to put on some pants.
I refuse to believe anybody ever needed a Paul Roma publicity photo. I mean, seriously.
Quick, enjoy this Macho Man photo now, he's going to be super stupid looking in less than...
Well, I hope you enjoyed that previous photo.
All right, all right, he still kinda pulled it off.
Because one Elvis-themed wrestler wasn't enough.
Whoops, sorry, this isn't just the best wrestler 8x10 in the gallery, it's the best wrestler 8x10 ever taken.
Get it, because he looks Asian.
Quick, guess which of these two wrestlers got an "appreciation night" after Raw in his hometown like three weeks ago!
Ass to ass.
Wait, is that a euphemism? Did I JUST realize that?
This is what happens to you after you've made a few movies.
Sid, or, "let's put a starburst in the background so it doesn't look like he's nude and standing in the shadows".
Good old Tatanka, or as his friends call him, "Chi Chair".
Nobody takes photos as well as the Million Dollar Man. Every rapper alive should love this guy.
Fun fact: in the 1980s, tens of thousands of women thought this guy was handsome.
"Nobody tell them about their cameltoe."
Tito Santana before he went to Vince McMahon and said "hey, it's sorta racist to have ARRIBA on my t-shirt, don't you think?" ...
... and after.
LOL
And finally, our crazy, crazy WWF Champion. This is a cool picture, but I'll always prefer the newer version ...
/swoon
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Ahahaha, Bulldog’s mullet w/ braids is so terribad it’s not even funny. But, also, it’s totally funny.
Colby Rasmus now knows what his next hair style is going to be! :D
Also, I am going to have Kaitlyn-as-The-Ultimate-Warrior fantasies tonight.
way ahead of you, buddy
Looking forward to a lifetime of inappropriate physical reactions to Warrior’s face paint now, thanks Brandon.
Already had them seven times in the first five minutes of seeing it.
She can shake my ropes any time.
Yeah, but I’m at the office. So, you know, gots ta wait till it’s safe.
True Story: I hated the Nasty Boys as a child and I hate them now as an adult.
I think that is the only appropriate response to them.
The last time I put on TNA, the Nasty Boys were there and Mick Foley was begging them not to leave. It unsettled me.
The Nasty Boys were the X-Pac of my childhood. Their matches were always like 30 minutes long and I would get so mad that they were taking up all of All American Wrestling on Sunday mornings.
The Beverly Brothers – the pride or unspoken shame of Shaker Heights, Ohio?
One of my favorite things about this version of Big Bossman is that heel or face, he kept the Stars-n-Bars patch on his uniform.
DONT YOU DARE TRY TO BUY THE BIG BOSSMAN HE CAN’T BE BOUGHT!
I still get excited thinking about his various face turns.
#26, HOOOOOOOOO!
The British Bulldog invented a new breed of mullet.
I never understood why Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake carried garden shears to the ring.
Because we talked about that instead of how he was in the ring?
If you put Freddy Blassie’s sweater in a front-view dryer and stare at it long enough, you can open a time vortex.
HEENAN/MONSOON!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t stop smiling at that pic. :)
My childhood :-D
Creeper Photographer to Bret Hart: OK, Hitman. Now just drop your hip…yeah…that’s it.
The cameraman was just tryin’ to ease the tension, baby!
Oh, man, the “Rip ‘Em!” on Hulk’s bike!
I watched “No Holds Barred” the other night, and two things.
1. It’s not as bad as I remember it being.
2. Rip totally murdered to guys in front of a crowd.
*two* …damnit
The best was how WWF brought the badguy from the movie (“Tiny” Lister) to the WWF as a real badguy after the moive because WWF L0g1kz!!!!1
Oh man, I completely forgot about the Killer Bees. The one on the right looks like Matthew Stafford.
Jumpin’ Jim’s teeth area is horrifying.
[cdn.sportsoverdose.com]
I’m personally fond of BBB’s mullet/stache combo.
Remember when they had the masks and they’d roll out of the ring, put their masks on mid-match and then fool the refs to score wins but still be faces?
So, Imma ask Kaitlyn to marry me. you guys.
NO ME
Eve Torres & I would love to be a part of the bridal party.
So far there is a seriously low amount of “Bushwhackers playing in the leaves” conversation.
Their joy speaks for itself!
I can’t joke about the Bushwhackers due to an irrational love for them.
It’s tough for me to talk about the Bushwhackers, because I always imagined they substituted baths with licking each other clean.
The Bushwhackers are a national treasure.
They were better when they were the Sheepherders.
Anything negative ever said about The Bushwhackers should be prohibited by law.
Sorry, Brandon. Your anti-Bushwhackers crusade is one thing we won’t get behind you on.
#DemBoys
First thought when I saw that pic: Which one is taking a dump right now in those leaves.
Jerry Lawler buys his shirts from the same guy who made his cousin’s jump suits, apparently.
+Truth
“Nobody tell them about their cameltoe.”
*dies*
Not that this has anything to do with the photo compilation, but Kaitlyn HATES the Big Bang Theory. I have to marry her.
I think my personal favorite photo in the comp was Paul Roma. No, really. I’m sure SOMEBODY had to exist out there that wanted that picture, and the best they came up with is “Paul Roma posing for trading card photo!”
You know the one person who wanted that Paul Roma photo in 1988, when he was still probably teaming with SD Jones? Paul Roma.
To be fair, Power and Glory is probably one of the most underrated tag teams ever, and Roma was kind of a somebody in his stint as the worstest Horseman and immediately after with Orndorff as Pretty Wonderful in WCW, even if he’s a punchline now.
Only 7 thumbs up in the whole set. I am surprised. The 7 bow ties make up for it a little.
This gallery is missing something…these photos are definitely rare, many of the wrestlers being of the medium variety in the 80s-90s WWF echelons, but I just have this sneaking suspicion that one more promo photo could’ve really made this gallery Well Dunn.
I’m bummed about the lack of a Fabulous Rougeau Brothers 8×10.
The one of Piper in that pink-fur-lined, denim, jacket is my favorite!. It’s dreamy.
I don’t think the Bushwhackers are playing in the leaves, I think that’s just where they bed down each night. The scratchiness of the leaves is almost like being warm!
It’s weird when you realize half the guys on this list only had jobs because they were friends with Hogan.
And that half of them are dead.
Nah, the half of them being dead part isn’t really that weird. I mean, many of these dudes would have been 30-ish in the mid 80s. So that would put them in the 60+ range now. That’s prime heart-attack territory. And I’m not talking about death-by-Hart-Foundation-finisher, either.
They should have had the Bushwackers hiding in the bushes beside someone’s house..
What exactly is a Bushwacker anyway? I don’t recall any bushes being wacked during their run in the WWF…
Isn’t it an Australian thing?
It’s a kind of highway bandit, I think.
Now Googling: “What the hell is a bushwacker?”
Please share once you have the answer. I would look it up myself, but google is all the way in the top right hand corner of my web browser.
Search came back negative, couldn’t find an answer, but the search did remind me of that moment in the Royal Rumble when one of the Busheswacker marched to the ring, swinging his arms, entered, was thrown out in 4 seconds, marched to the back, still swinging his arms. That was cool.
They were originally the Sheepherders. ‘Cause they acted inbred and Australian jokes. I guess Vince McMahon didn’t want to think they were so inbred that they herded up the sheep for pleasurable purposes, et voila.
bush·whack (bshhwk, -wk)
v. bush·whacked, bush·whack·ing, bush·whacks
v.intr.
1. To make one’s way through thick woods by cutting away bushes and branches.
2. To travel through or live in the woods.
3. To fight as a guerrilla in the woods.
v.tr.
To attack suddenly from a place of concealment; ambush. See Synonyms at ambush.
See, I don’t remember ANY of that happening…only remember exaggerated arm movements & licking.
Read The Bushwacker’s Wikipedia page. Actually, do yourself a favour and just go buck-wild following the links to other old-school wrestlers as you read. It’s a trip down memory-lane.
I will not sit idly by and watch people claim erroneously that the Bushwackers were in any way Australian. They are straight outta New Zealand, thank you very much! And yes, they ARE national treasures!
*swings arms, bushwacks on*
As vaguely racist as the “dragon” gimmick was, I still love those fire breathing Steamboat photos.
I hope Daniel Bryan gets to breathe fire for a Wrestlemania entrance at some point.
That was at the height of the WWF’s “everyone must come to the ring with some kind of animal” phase.
Jake had Damien.
Coco had whatever the fuck his parrot was called.
British Bulldog had Winston.
Steamboat came out with some sort of monitor lizard.
Shoot…I feel like I’m missing a couple of others.
FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!!!
And the bulldog was Matilda, I think. Although there might have been more than one.
Matilda was the Bulldogs bulldog. Winston was her replacement for solo Davey Boy.
Hell yeah, firebreathing is the most awesome thing ever! The lizard/dragon thing he wore to the ring was cool looking too. Being saddled with Random Mild-to-Moderate Racism: The Gimmick is kinda forgivable when it makes you like the most badass mofo in the room/on the planet, I guess.
One interesting thing to note is how the WWF signed Dusty Roads and then did everything they possibly could to make him, like, 1000% less badass than he was in NWA.
“Okay, guys. We signed The American Dream. Now let’s denigrate his image. Ideas?”
“I know. Let’s make him a fucking garbageman!”
“Yeah, that works. We can always recycle that schtick later on Duke Droese. Anything else?”
“Oh, I know, big fuck-off yellow polka dots!”
“Yes, now we’re talking. Approved!”
It’s so funny how they basically dusted off Dusty’s “common man” gimmick for Regal when he came to the WWF.
I totally remember that. He came out with, like, lumberjack plaid and shit. I also seem to remember him wearing knee braces on both knees at the time and seeming so impossibly gimpy that he couldn’t ever be believably tough. I think, crap, I’m not sure, but Regal also rocked an American accent during that phase.
Oh god, those eyes. Those dead, soulless Virgil eyes.
I’m going with Andre, if only for the stern reminder that only one man in recorded history can still be utterly intimidating in a purple flowered shirt.
+1 to Brandon for “Cowardly Lady Bug” LOL!
In sad news, 16.5 out of 67 pictures features a dead person. Sorry for ruining things like a dumb ol’ jerk.
I recently rewatched “Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows”, and by the time I was 15 minutes in, I had seen 10 now-dead wrestling personalities (Owen, Bulldog, Pillman, Stu & Helen Hart, Savage, Hawk, Perfect, Monsoon, plus Dino Bravo who had died 5 years prior). It’s incredibly depressing.
Is it more or less depressing that I noticed that ratio and thought that, for wrestling, that was some pretty good odds.
“HAND FORMED BURGERS, BRAH!” There we go. I needed the “brah” to make it complete.
Ah, memories…it was a simpler time. A happier time. A time when Hogan’s skin color was about three crayons to the left in the box from where it is now.
Holy Cow that was an awesome Katilyn cosplay.
I would love the WWE to bring back tag teams just so the WWE video game could bring back lots of the old, campy tag teams of the 80′s and 90′s. I’d love to play me some Killer Bees, Young Stallions. Natural Disasters, Money, Inc. etc.
Power and Glory, Powers of Pain, Islanders, Strike Force, Can-Am Connection… so many great underutilized tag teams back in the day.
Also, if I can post it, this unintentionally hilarious Can-Am connection vignette: [www.youtube.com]
When I was a kid, I loved Hercules and easily believed that even if he wasn’t, y’know, HERCULES that he was as big and strong as the myth. Now he’s just another steroid-jacked receding hairline gimp. This saddens me.
At least Dino Bravo wasn’t on steroids, they clearly just filled his Giant Gonzalez-style muscle suit with water. At the least the Rock eventually got breast reduction surgery. I imagine Dino would have had to do the same in the future.
Also, Bret Hart was fantastic and all that but everything Vince McMahon said about his look during their feud was right on the money.
“Junkyard Dog’s autograph should’ve just been ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF”
I will be soooo dissapoint if we don’t ever get a Titus O’Neil “ARA ARA ARA!” promo photo.
There’s something about the Bushwhackers in the leaves that has a VERY strong Briscoe Brothers vibe to it. I imagine to the side of this picture is a barn full of chickens and shotguns.
Big Boss Man looks like Jim Carrey and Larry the Cable Guy had a child.
hahaha you are exactly right
Ah, the Natural Disasters. Thanks for making me have to go back and re-repress all of my childhood memories of John Tenta’s various bulges, Brandon.
Also, I’m fairly confident that Jake’s photo was shot with a red bulb to hide all the broken blood vessels in his face/eyes from years of drugs and alcohol.
Virgil’s. Gotta be worth $50 I’d say.
I keep thinking Heenan is holding up a dreamcatcher, actually I prefer to see it that way
Or Bobby the Brain’s because, get it?
*sees banner image* *reads entire post in Owen Voices*
I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s a weirdly Funkasauric quality to the face Neidhart is making in that photo.
I refuse to believe that’s Jake the Snake. A red light only means one thing: THAT’S GOTTA BE KANE!!!!
When are tassels gonna make a comeback, thought they were cool when I was ten. Also would take a wrestling video game with accurate tassel physics.
#14. Brutus looks, dare I say it…
:pause:
AWWWWWWEEEEEEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE.
i thought the very same
He came to play. There’s a price to pay. You can pay in hay.
Fact: I was there when Tugboat became Typhoon.
I’ve come to believe that he only became Typhoon because he looked into his future, saw The Shockmaster, and Embraced Hate.
I was there when he became Shockmaster. No really. It’s the night Jesse Ventura read my really really dumb sign on national tv. Highlight of my life!
No word of a lie, The Bushwackers were my Mom’s favourite wrestlers when I was growing up. In fact I got her a Bushwacker 2 pack for Mothers Day a couple of years ago. I have never seen a look of disappointment and happiness in my entire life.
Just imagine – when they were taking that “Tugboat” promo shot, you know Fred Ottman had to be thinking, “well, at least this is the most embarrassing thing that will ever happen to me in my wrestling career…”
Okay, also, how much more awesome was Akeem when he was The One Man Gang? I’m going to say, like, at least, 53x more awesome. At least.
I don’t know, man. Akeem had the best dance move, consisting entirely of waggling his arm to simulate a wave.
The Sheepherders were the best. I miss the days when WWF had guys pretending to be retartded instead of retarded guys pretending not to be.
How much do you imagine BookSavvy will swoon over young baby Shawn Michaels? Like probably a bunch, I bet.
Most def.
Guys… I TOTALLY had that ass-to-ass promo shot on my bedroom wall… I’m not even joking. I was a lonely lonely little girl…
I love that, at one point in his life, Hulk Hogan rode a motorcycle featuring a finger pointing to his dick.
really struggling with how much brutus looks like the miz in his first picture
Tatanka… his poor genitals…
The Bret Hart on Bret Hart’s Bret Hart T-shirt should be wearing a Bret Hart T-shirt.
I thought this was gonna be about cheesy promos. Now I just have so many questions about Bulldog’s hair.
My dad used to love the Bushwhackers. He’d always emulate the way they walked around the house when I was a wee lad and it really cracked me up back then.
I thought my day couldn’t get better until I saw the One Man Gang in a dashiki.
Greg The Hammer Valentine as half of an all-Elvis themed tag team?
(Jimmy Hart Voice) Rhythm and Blues, bay-bay!
“How many pictures of Hulk Hogan holding the American flag does it take to erase the memory of his sex tape?”
All Of Them.
Paul Roma = Chris Masters + Ken Shamrock – the baby oil & loses to Tito
I hate to throw out wild accusations, but some of those gentlemen appear to have been using steroids.
You left out the best ones:
Dok Hentrix
Stephanie Wyandt
Todd Pettengill
Look them up and add them!
Every Saturday morning in the late 70s/early 80s, we had the CWA/AWA/USWA tape delayed out of Memphis. It was great, but I don’t know how many of those folks went on to national fame. Guys like:
Jerry Lawler
Dutch Mantel
Bill Dundee
The Fabulous Ones (Steve Keirn and Stan Lane)
The Moondogs
The Sheepherders
Tojo Yamamoto
Jimmy Valiant
Jeff & Jerry Jarrett
Adrian Street
Bobby Eaton
ETC….
That was some great entertainment as a kid.
So. Much. Coke-Bloat!
And steroid puffiness. IT’S THE PERFECT STORM!!!!!!
*snerk* Awesome.
Does anyone else feel a little dirty after looking at that Natural Disasters photo
I had so many of these. More importantly I had a Tatanka foam tomahawk.
Ah, that takes me back Some good nostalgia right there.
Last night I had a dream where Owen Hart and I discussed how Chrono Trigger was the best video game of all time, and I’m thinking of blaming this article for the sadness I felt when I woke up.
why is it that brutus the barber beefcake, british bulldog, and crush all look exactly the same?
Why does Marty Jannetty look like Steve Perry
No Sgt. Slaughter, Iron Shiek, Nicolai Volkoff?
On one hand, after seeing the Natural Disaster’s in Hi Def, I hate you. On the other hand Kaitlyn in Hi Def…..now I need one more hand.
I think I might still have a copy of my autographed promo pic of the Nasty Boys. Thanks for reminding me.
Correction. Picture number 44 is not only the best picture in the group….it’s the only picture that is absolutely perfect.
Did Paul Roma fake his death and come back as Ken Shamrock?
Duggan’s picture so says “Hocksaw” Jim Dujjon