TONIGHT! IT'S GONNA BE ... A TAG TEAM MATCH something something
On tonight’s show:
The moment of truth has arrived, and Brock Lesnar’s camp will officially respond to Triple H’s SummerSlam challenge on a Raw SuperShow that’s already bursting with tense situations ready to explode at the slightest provocation. While The King of Kings and the wrecking machine hammer out the fine print (or just hammer each other with their fists), WWE Champion CM Punk and Daniel Bryan will be testing the waters with AJ to determine where her favor might lie as the special guest ref for their WWE Title Match at Money in the Bank.
Translation: 23 minutes of talking, 1 minute of punching.
More importantly, WWE continues its march to 1000 episodes of Raw with returning General Managers, and this week features none-other than Theodore R. Long, former Smackdown GM and Team Johnny butler. Long will dance by dribbling two imaginary basketballs, stand backstage awkwardly while a woman rubs up against him and make a tag team match pitting The Undertaker and Randy Orton against The Celtic Warrior Sheamus and RANDY ORTON! Two Randies.
As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s discussion will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 7/2/12 column. To nominate a comment for top 10 contention, reply to it with a +1.
Pre-discussion discussion questions:
1. Is The Ryback my favorite wrestler? Yes.
2. Besides “Mack” and Cheese, what’s the worst sounding WWE food? My vote is anything cooked Mideon-rare.
3. Will Teddy Long’s GM-ership lead to a John Laurinaitis As Butler cameo? Would wishing make it so?
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You know, I’m not the type who lusts after wealth and material possessions, but after watching and re-watching Paul Heyman’s promo last night, I’ve decided that my new goal in life is to someday be wealthy enough to hire somebody to accompany me everywhere and refer to me in the SUPER-DRAMATIC THIRD PERSON the way Paul Heyman does for Bork.
“JBSHAKES would like to order a bacon cheeseburger. JBSHAKES wants me to remind you that the last time he placed this order at your establishment, you forgot the bacon. It would be a shame if JBSHAKES had to take his business elsewhere in the future, which almost certainly will happen if you forget to add JBSHAKES’ bacon to his burger this time…”
On a side note, when can we expect the next cant miss 2nd or 3rd generation prospect to debut? And who wants to be me his name won’t be Turd Ferguson.
*who wants to bet me
I keep waiting for the next pair of The Ryback fodder to be Crud Bonemeal and Slab Bulkhead.
I think WWE is so bad sometimes…. that when they do something not terrible we freak out. The commercial was a rip-off of the SportsCenter commercials…. the photocopying of the belt was the only funny part….
I’m probably in the minority
That ending to raw… I like to think that’s how it went down at the Flair household the other night.
I liked the commercial, but it also makes me sad. It’s proof that ANYONE can do a better job showcasing the talent in a 40 second spot than the WWE writers can do with thousands of hours of television
That commercial was like most episodes of Raw… Cena messed everything up.
God that commercial was stupendous. Big show with a hang in there baby poster was the best.
Up w/ the baby so I’m throwing in my two cents. LOVED Raw tonight, it was a lot of fun. It had many great moments BUT the best Raw moment happened at my house. Miss Elizabeth was wide awake, watching Raw w/ her mommy but not really paying attention until Dolph Ziggler’s intro music hit. Her eyes got wide and she looked right at the TV. I always knew he was her fave because she’d get busy when she was on the inside when he was on TV too.
Ladies Love Cool Dolph
Watching some parts of RAW again I’m suddenly taken by how in shape AJ is. She’s got tight abs and everthing!
She’s cute and in great shape. A little too tiny overall for my tastes, though, personally. Her billed height is 5’3 but I’m going to guess it’s probably actually 5’1 or, maybe, 5’2.
That commercial was awesome. Weird that none of them ever wear pants. Somewhere Randy Orton is smiling and saying “Told you all it would catch on.”
+1
Any ideas what his lines could have been had he not been suspended?
Or would it be him squatting over a gym bag on his phone. “I shouldn’t defecate?”
After watching it, I gotta say the best part Of the ddp appearance is his little known wwe theme, which I only know from playing waaaay too much Smackdown! Shut your Mouth! Life goal fufilled, I can now die in peace.
Just finished the DVR Raw; in honor of Tyson Kidd’s upset this week, I want to see him break out the 1-2-3 Kid tights next week.
Then would he have to break in Chyna the week after?
#OoohCake is trending on Twitter!
Also, Titan Towers is exactly the way I imagined: wrestlers standing around drinking coffee in their underpants.
CM Punk is totally selling those photocopied belts to Virgil.
RAW COMMERCIAL!
RAW COMMERCIAL!
I’ll admit it, I seriously lost my shit at “oooh cake”
That was pretty damn amazing. +1 to your posting privileges, stately gentleman.
Gentlewoman if I recall past discussion threads correctly.
*starts playing Radiohead’s Creep*
Lobster is my GIRL!!!
Ohhhhh! Burn on Kuwait!
this is how I celebrate receiving mad props from BookSavvy (and pretty much anyone else)
(even though I hate Jamie Varner SOOOO much)
You two are like the Chickbusters of WithLeather!
Wait Lester… does that mean one of them will get crazy(er) and the other will leave us? NOOOO!
That is so good. Oh man. WWE hasn’t made anything legit funny by themselves barely ever.
You sir HAVE obviously watched Knucklehead
So I just got online, have a few questions:
1. What was the raw commercial everyone is talking about?
2. Please tell me I’m being trolled by wikipedia and the WWE championship MITB match hasn’t changed and that the world heavyweight one will include: Damien Shadow? (Who?) and santino, but not swagger or ziggler?
He’s on some show called smack-down? something about lanny poffo?
Bro, get aboard the Damien Sandow train. Grab a spot on the Bray Wyatt Express while you’re at it. You have some YouTube homework to do.
I’m sorry I just can’t bring myself to watch it. I guess if he’s getting a push its appropriate, but still its like weaksauce in that match from what I can tell, Tensai in a ladder match?
Yeah, Tensai in a ladder match. With Tyson Kidd. And Christian, and Sandow, and *cough*Rhodes*cough*. But, no, you’re right, this match will suck cause of one dude.
To be fair, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see WWE name an upcoming wrestler something like Damien Shadow.
Why do i feel like Kane would make a good Creed in an Office parody? Big show seems like a convincing Kevin…
Office Kane- HAVE YOU SEEN MY STAPLER?!!! ::BOOM FLAMES::
Yeah..hi, Kane, what’s happening? Uh, I’m going to have to ask you to move your desk. Now, if you could get it to go as far back against that wall as possible, that would be great… That way, we’ll have some room for more boxes and things we need to put in here… So if you could get to that as soon as possible, that would be terrific.
Teddy loves tag team matches so much, when he made the Big Show v Kane match, he considered it a one of kind, one man team match.
For the first time ever on Raw
I want RAW 1,000 to include a battle royale with all of the returning legends, winner gets a one year contract and the European Championship. Who’s with me?
Alternately, if they bring back Chavo and then Chavo wins (haHA) we bring back the entire Cruiserweight Division.
Don’t know what was more awesome Raw is AJ or the 3 hour Raw commercial…
My comments weren’t working off my phone earlier, which makes me sad. But I loved Jericho tonight, lots of AJ gets all the bests, and DDP!!!
I missed the show again, but I had really good excuse this week! It involves attempting to ask out a super cutie, who, oddly enough, bears a passing resemblance to AJ. :D
Just watch 3 hour RAW commerical. It was good. If you want to watch it, do a search for “3 hour raw commerical” on Yahoo!, the first link will be wrestlingforum-dot-com and it will have a link for ew-dot-com (Entertainment Weekly) and the video’s on the bottom.
My anti-virus didn’t chime in so the sites should be safe (knock on wood).
If you want to mess with lower quality (i.e. film of a TV showing it) so you can stay on youtube, here is the first posting of it:
youtube (dot) com (slash) watch?v=Iav-umCRP-k
Thank you both kindy.
Ditto! That commercial gets a Best!
That commercial was tremendous. Loved the ending.
Great, the one fucking thing I actually want to see from the show is Heyman burning HHH and the video on WWE.com isn’t working.
Youtube, my man. WWEFanNation is the account.
[www.youtube.com] is the direct link, but this comment won’t get approved in too timely of a manner to help you /11:40
this shit right here?
this shit right here?
why am i katt williams now?
Because someone has to be, and lord knows Katt Williams doesn’t want to be.
That was glorious. Luv U Pawl E.
I also luv Lobster Mobster for the vidya.
I missed the whole show to coach baseball again. Someone give me the WithLeather/Stroudmouth approved recap (the WWE slideshow just isn’t enough for me).
It was pretty much all about AJ. Not a bad show I thought.
tag team matches, so many tag team matches
20% of the comments are about food
Well any show all about AJ is great in my book, and tag matches are to be expected with Teddy in charge. Appreciate the recapage y’all.
What did A.J. whisper to Punk before pushing him into the table?
“I want to have your abortion”
+marla
“I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah”
Pepsi sucks; Coca-Cola is better.
“Long…live…the king.”
If whoever gifs for Brandon can gif AJ pushing Punk and Bryan through a table, that’d be great.
It goes without saying, the highlight of raw.
I can picture office Kane saying “Why should I change my name, Charles Foster is the one who sucks.”
+1, Mr. Swanson
+bolton
+1 Office Space & Citizen Kane references
PS. Charles Foster is a family name
Is there supposed to be a tingle in my underwear from that look that Paul Heyman was giving me?
The once forgotten table: I DIG crazy chicks!
Punk and Daniel Bryan where butt hurt after that one.
There’s a thing on WWE. com called “RAW vs TV’S GREATEST” and the picture representing Raw has Cena, Punk and Daniel Bryan. That made my heart swell three sizes.
That was the Mean Girls 2 of RAW episodes. Thank you for making me laugh, cry & urinate a little with fear. Goodnight.
Wait, so where was it in Big Show’s ironclad contract that he had to make a fat joke about himself in the WWE commercial?
Is that Pam Beasley?
Is that Jenna Fischer made up to look like an old woman?
Amazing that HHH even manages to have the final punchline in that commercial.
It’s not surprising.
Now that the discussion thread is winding down, I can go back and really watch RAW.
The Jericho and Cena fight still going on backstage will be broadcast next week on Raw via the Orton/Barrett elevator cam.
+ 1
I figured it would have been broadcast by G-TV.
Who in WWE fills the role of Terry Tate, Office Linebacker? Is it Office The Rybacker?
+Super Bowl commercial
Mr. Touchdown or GTFO.
I sort of wish Kane was mildly spinning in his chair in his office right there.
I didn’t get the commercial. It went straight to Black Cop and White Cop Are An Old Married Couple. :(
Me too :(
See if you can find it, it was great
I’m on the hunt for those less fortunate.
Crap quality, but it’s a start.
youtube (dot) com (slash) watch?v=Iav-umCRP-k
http:/ /insidetv.ew.co m/2012/07/02/wwe-raw-promo/
get rid of spaces
[www.youtube.com]
That commercial was better than the full 2 hours.
Punk photocopying his belt got me
Good commercial. 3 HR RAW Bad
Mmm… cake.
God help me, I found that 3-hour Raw commercial hilarious. Even if I’m still terrified by the idea of 3-hour Raws.
Big Show saying “Oooh Cake” is the funniest thing ever.