WWE’s third annual ‘Money In The Bank’ pay-per-view airs live this Sunday night, starting with a YouTube pre-show match at 7:30 EST with the formal show beginning at 8 PM EST. As always, we’ll be here to recap the show and make jokes as it happens.
Here’s your full card:
- YouTube Exclusive Pre-Show Tag Team Match: WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. Hunico and Camacho
- Money In The Bank Ladder Match for a WWE Championship contract: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Big Show
- Money In The Bank Ladder Match for a World Heavyweight Championship contract: Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Intercontinental Champion Christian vs. United States Champion Santino Marella vs. Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sin Cara
- World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio
- WWE Championship Match, with AJ as the special guest referee: CM Punk (c) vs. Daniel Bryan
Yep, that’s it so far. Four pay-per-view matches and a pre-show.
Of course, there’s a good chance we’ll get a string of impromptu matches (possibilities: The Ryback rybacking somebody, Dean Ambrose debuting suddenly to be the Mistah J to AJ’s Harley Quinn, Sin Cara wrestling Hunico again even though they’re already in matches … Layla rolling somebody up in 40 seconds, whatever) and backstage segments to keep us interested.
To keep YOU interested, we’re giving you another chance to earn a beautiful commenter badge for your participation in the open discussion. During the show, you’ll be able to tweet this post and share it on Facebook by clicking the “like” button on this page to unlock the ZIG ZAG MAN badge. You’ll always have a great memento of Dolph Ziggler winning a Money In The Bank briefcase, whether he does or not.
My ten favorite comments from this thread will be featured in Danny Boy Downes’ Best And Worst Of WWE Money In The Bank guest column on Monday. To nominate a comment for top 10 status, reply to it with a +1.
So let’s hear your predictions for the show. Who’s winning, and when are they cashing in? Which unannounced matches will we see?
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Since titles don’t “matter” Punk is going to drop the belt to (wait for it) The Rock at some point in the near term.
(Everybody loses to Rocky at this point, no worries)
Cena will use MITB to set the Wrestlemania rematch. Cena wins that – getting the return rub from last year.
Afterwards, a heel Punk feuds Cena for a year once they finally come to realize putting your best talker in a role he is completely at odds with was a bad idea spawned from being insanely over in his hometown.
Ziggler goes pseudo face and wrassles D-Bry once AJ ditches him to be with Dolph. (Fan-FIC!)
If we knew Rock was going to be around even as much as Lesnar between now and WM, I’d be more inclined to agree with the ‘Punk loses to Rock’ scenario. But even if the title doesn’t matter, I can’t see Rock being WWE champion in absentia. Maybe if the loss doesn’t happen until Survivor Series or later it could work.
But whatever happens, I hope we’ve all enjoyed the last few months, because we’re entering the Darkest Timeline. Either Rock or Cena will have the belt; The Miz will probably be getting title shots (if the champ is around to defend); D-Bry will be in a mid-card feud (one that *isn’t* for the WWE Title); I have no idea what Punk will be doing; and Creative will totally fuck up AJ’s momentum and character.
Oh, also, three-hour episodes of Raw filled with video packages and ‘touts’ of all the above. [Heavy sigh]
Just read Brandon’s words above, Ambrose would make a pretty sweet Joker
Ever since I watched a few of his FCW promos, I’ve wondered how that kind of character could work on TV-PG. I don’t mean he’s over the line, but he’s… intense. I hope they have good plans for him; and I hope he maintains his Heath Ledger-Joker promo style.
also Ryback for WWE Tag Team Champions
so is Cena cashing in RVD-style or everybody-else-style?
I would have to think RVD, but I’m sure it won’t be “where the odds are extremely in my favor”
That’s everywhere. The odds are never in John Cena’s favour, and it is truly amazing when he overcomes them time and time again with little effort. A true hero.
Oh, and Ziggler should get an extra carry-on briefcase for “Flight Of The Night.” Good god, man!
OK, end of West Coast latecomer.
Let’s see. KofiKillings? Check. ZigZagManRightThere AND Trying to cash in? Check and Check. Sheamus trying to reach “mutual velocity”? Check. The Ryback over Reks/Hawkins? Check and check. Cena? Check. OMG I AM GOOD AT GUESSING (for once)
OMG! Jack Swag-Oh, It’s The Miz. Nevermind.
Sin Cara should be suspended for violating the WWE Wellness (Of The Other Wrestlers) Program! Jeez!!
My thoughts: Damien Sandow looks like a young version of The Oracle from The Hilarious House of Frightenstein. Canada!
HOW THE FUCK AM I ROBBED OF MY ZIGGLES BAGED WHE I AM TWEETING ANDS POSTING FROM SAID EVENT, BREAKING MY NCK ON MY CELL PHONE. GOD DAMN YOU BURNSY
Word Life, more like Turd Life.
I know it seems bad guys but look on the bright side of life. Gold Corral has a chocolate wonderfall AND cotton candy. I know, I didn’t think it was possible either.
According to Kaitlyn on Twitter, that was her first ever Pay Per View match!
According to me, that was the 307th Kaitlyn induced erection I’ve had!
Did Nuncio show up and tell Heath Slater to fugettabouditt?
Also, if you have any gif or screen cap requests please respond to this post with them. I’ll be doing them in the morning. Thanks and love, THESTINGER.
We absolutely need the look on Cena’s face when he was “shocked” to win. That GIF is so exploitable.
Big Show punching Jericho off the ladder would be good too.
Dolph almost dying after being thrown by Tensai
I really enjoyed near the start of the match Sandow rolling into the ring and then immediately exiting the ring.
Many screencaps of Ref.J.
Also, Joker pool cue scene with AJ gif
Gentle reminder: Don’t forget the Ziggler assroll with asscape from ZackDown.
(Thanks!)
Asscape is done! It’ll be up on Tumblr this afternoon along with millions of other gifs because I’m good at making gifs but bad about putting them online.
Good news, everyone! We can now resume our previous levels of crippling anxiety that comes with being a Daniel Bryan fan after tonight!
Translation: Have a bottle of Jack Daniels ready for Raw tomorrow and drink heavily when Cena’s music hits so I can blackout and pretend it never happened.
I fear it will be quite a while before we see the fantastic sequence ‘the best in the word and the ACTUAL best in the world’ in a snarky column again.
I couldnt hear the crowd… did Arizona choose black or hispanic in the tag match?
Their biggest reaction was to a Taco Bell comment, so 4th meal?
There’s a reason you couldn’t hear the crowd.
If nothing else, we can all agree that crowd was horrendous.
What if it turned out that this John Cena is a fake… This has been Juan Cena the whole time. and the real John Cena has been on break since Extreme Rules
But he doesn’t have an evil beard :( He needs an evil beard.
Is that Cena’s Mexican, non-union equivalent?
Or at least an evil moustache!
Time for Black Dynamite! Who’s with me?
CHOCOLATE GIDDY UP, NOOOO!
I just read the B&W of Extreme Rules and it’s odd that back then one of the top comments was “Cena’s taking a vacation so he can rest his back after carrying all these rusty has-beens. Who’s he supposed to fight next PPV? Bob Backlund? Sycho Sid?” and then WWE actually got them to squash Slater. IT’S LIKE THEY KNOW.
Also that at that PPV Cena announced that he was going away for a while, which immediately never f*cking happened
It must be the spy…. BAAATTEEEMMMAAAANNNN!!!!
if main event means “last show on the card”, then punk hasn’t been in a main event since tlc, uncoincidentally the last event cena didn’t have a match on the card.
Kane has been in more “main events” than Punk has in 2012.
Tables, Ladders & Chairs must have had a negative buyrate.
And the moral of tonight’s story is: You can teach an old dog new tricks, but you can’t keep Sin Cara from botching the shit out of it.
+ Sabu
Does anyone else find Sin Cara’s botching kind of endearing at this point?
That boy there went SPLAT after that powerbomb!
I’ve come to expect the words “Sin Cara” and “botches” in the same sentence every show.
COTN
Not his fault that someone botched the lighting.
The WWE continues there very good anti-drug campaign. If you ever want to show people the effects steroids and cocaine can have on your body and mind have them watch 5 weeks of WWE TV. When ever they say “well that doesn’t make sense” show them a picture of Vince McMahon in his “ring gear” and tell them he thinks it makes perfect sense.
+getthechicken
I’ve been at a bar all night watching MITB. Fuck Sheamus.
Funny, I just got back from one doing the same.
I wasn’t at a bar, but fuck Sheamus indeed.
Again, I’m glad you guys commented my way though this thing. Can’t thank you enough. You’ve made my night.
Boy, I cannot WAIT to see what happens to Kane and Cody Rhodes going forward.
Can’t wait to find a leak of this on YouTube in the morning, watch the Smackdown MITB and then pretend the rest of the show never happened.
Coulda been worse man, they could have buried Ziggler right after his win.
True story. I think we’d have killed Uproxx’s bandwidth with our infantile, nerd rage-fueled posting had they done that. Brandon would have been able to hear the entire community gnashing their teeth.
Wow, guys. Can you believe it’s almost been a full year since CM Punk has been in the main event?
TLC I believe. Only because Cena didn’t have a match.
Yeah, Reverend is right.
I hate that I can honestly say the last TNA PPV was a million times better than this PPV… I liked the Punk/Bryan match and Ziggles winning, but otherwise it was meh…
If Punk, Bryan, and Ziggler went to TNA, I’d watch it every time it was on.
What if they just do Summer of Punk again except Cena is Punk and Punk is Cena?
Finkle is Einhorn
Every summer is the summer of Cena.
If Cena’s gonna carry the case around everywhere with him like other winners, Shouldn’t it be missing the handle?
Hope so. They’ll probably just say once that he repaired it.
with his CENAPOWERS?
Chain it around his neck.
It is the only way
So can we expect a spinning MITB briefcase now?
So can we expect a spinning MITB briefcase, because the kids will love it.
I was gonna say it’d have some shitty spray paint tag on it, but that’s DX’s bag.
Here’s the feud: Cena is going to drop truth on Punk that despite being the champ the majority of the year, he’s never been the main event. Punk and Cena square off at Summerslam. Punk turns heel and retains the title through chicanery.
Just calling that now.
I would enjoy that. That makes sense. Thus it will not happen.
It would be nice if they realized that Punk works better as the guy who says fuck-all and stop trying to force him into a face role. But you know, I liked Bearded Homeless Jesus Punk so ::shrugs::
Anything but ‘Take your balls out of your purse Laurinaitis’ Punk will do fine.
I liked when Punk inspired signs like “straightedge = no drugs, no alcohol, no shower.”
That would be pretty great. Un-muzzle Punk’s nasty side… Plus I have a distinct feeling we’re going to be seeing Ziggles drop Vickie and go face… Now feed Christian to Bryan at Summerslam; I think that’d be a great fued…
I would gladly see Punk drop the belt to Cena if it meant that Punk went back to raping people on the microphone…
Man, now they have to figure out how to have John Cena job to John Cena in the mid card so that John Cena can still main event each night! John Cena.
+1
+John Cena
Bob Dole’s a fan of the tobacco industry. Bob Dole likes your style! Bob Dole! Bob Dole. Bob Dole….
Watching WWE is like being Mayor of Baltimore. Which bowl of shit do I eat today? Yummy
+sheeeeeeeeeeeit
Well, this is exactly why I saved Breaking Bad for last.
yep
I also discovered that I like the Miz a lot more without his absurd fauxhawk.
Wait, The Miz was in that match?
SPOILER
John Cena cashes in on Batman at the end of Dark Knight Rises
+1 for spoilers!
Big Show is the BANE of my existence. So I rose above
hey, all right, so i’m just finally going to say the joke i thought of earlier but then i didn’t follow through on it because it was too late:
the best part of the beginning of punk/bryan was lawler psychoanalyzing a woman, unlike normal when he’s analizing a psycho woman.
That Sheamus sure sucks huh?
Gonna be real sad when Daniel Bryan and the Big Show lose to Primo and Epico.
Hey gang, just 30 minutes until Black Dynamite! YAY!
+ 1
LAST NIGHT: I ROSE LIKE THE DARK KNIGHT
Tomorrow, Cena gives a promo and equates the MitB match to the Avengers somehow and I will want to kill him with fire. >:(
Not gonna be enough. He already felled Kane this year.
There was a HULK climbing the ladder, a ladder made out of IRON…MAN.
I sure am THOR after last night!
And we were all LOKI’D!
I’ll want to kill him with the Power Cosmic, but that’s me.
Man, I sure was a Hawkeye with using the briefcase wasnt I?
Sorry, Truth, but there were no spiders in this briefcase. Not even a BLACK WIDOW.
Did you guys see how I belted The Big Slow right in the SKRULL?
Wouldn’t he have to touch on the Matrix first I mean he just referenced a 30 yr old movie now you’re expecting him to reference something that came out a few months ago.
“You take the blue briefcase, the story ends, you go back to Smackdown and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red briefcase, you stay on Raw, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
That was a great PPV. For the first time this year, I don’t feel like the WWE ripped me off too much.
Neither. I streamed
Hey man, we were watching the 2012, not 2011 MITB.
Not too shabby, IMO. I’ve paid for worse and cried at my account balance afterwards.
Extreme Rules would like a word with you
Extreme Rules was pretty damn groovy.
I think extreme rules was pretty damn great if I remember correctly. Stream is a big +
Boy, am I glad I didn’t pay for that.
Liz Cena gets half of the briefcase right?
That’s why he was trying to find all the pieces. Her lawyer’s quite shrewd.
Well I had a good time on this blog. I wanna do his more often. Will you good folks be here?
Always. Whatever happens, we will find you!
Count on it
Yup yup. I will be here, vicariously hate-loving wrestling events through comments and wondering where that elusive +Rhodes ran off to.
Monday night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no jobs, father no children. I shall wear no pants and win no glory. I shall live and die with my posts. I am the YES in the darkness. I am the watcher on the webs. I pledge my life and honour to the Night’s Watch, for this Monday night and all the Mondays nights (and occasional Sunday nights) to come.
+Winter is Coming @Lester
Upshot: Cena having the briefcase gives WWE a great out to have someone lose with the case. If anyone’s got the cred to get over the stigma of “first cash-in to lose,” it’s Jern. If that’s the case, it throws a bit more unpredictability into briefcase winners going forward.
You forgot to add in *record scratch* after saying ‘that’s the case’.
Oh Vince, how you continue to confound me
WWE have no concept of gambling or handicapping odds.